News of the Future

[Notell]

HASLER IN TALKS WITH SHARKS

After the devastating news revealed earlier in the week that the quietly spoken Sea Eagles coach had the full and total support of the board, Des Hasler has had lengthy discussions with Greg Pierce and other Cronulla executives, further fuelling rumours of Stuart Raper's imminent departure...

WIEDLER'S REVELATION STUNS FANS

In a revelation that has stunned the league community, Danny Wiedler has confessed to actually having a basic understanding of the game. Fairfax newspapers have been besieged by angry fans, demanding to know why this information had been so successfully concealed for so long.

PLAYERS ASSOCIATION HEAD FOR COURT

A Rugby League Players' Association insider has confirmed that they will be taking legal action against star St. George-Illawarra halfback Matthew Head.
"It's a clear cut case really," explained the source. "After winning the man-of-the-match award last Friday night, he refused to praise his forwards for paving the way to victory, gave no credit (full or otherwise) to the opposition, and could not confirm that he would have a beer and a laugh after the game with Willie Mason after Big Willie kneed him the head."

STERLING BACKS FITZGERALD

New Hall of Fame entrant Peter Sterling urged Parramatta fans to get behind Eels boss Dennis Fitgerald, stating that he was the man to take the club to premiership glory for the next 20 years.
When it was pointed out that April 1 was still some time away, Sterling removed his Groucho Marx apparrell and ran away.

CHANNEL 9 BOWS TO PRESSURE

Following heavy criticism of having too much sport and too much comedy on their network, Eddie Maguire has redressed the balance by announcing that The Footy Show would air three times daily.

 

[gunnamatta bay]

:lol:

WIEDLER'S REVELATION STUNS FANS

In a revelation that has stunned the league community, Danny Wiedler has confessed to actually having a basic understanding of the game. Fairfax newspapers have been besieged by angry fans, demanding to know why this information had been so successfully concealed for so long.

 

[Twizzle]

sources please

 

[SOULS 04]

hahaha that was great work... good laugh was had by all.

 

[Raider_69]

not bad

 

[JJ]

very good Notell - you might not be too far from the truth though, with teh SMH reporting Bennett likely to go to the Roosters, abd Stuart a roughy for the Broncs

 

[The Fruit Pickers]

CRONULLA WINS SECOND TITLE

Cronulla fans were yesterday jumping for joy with news that the club had added a second trophy to its mantle after the story Cronulla wins second title headlined the Sydney’s Daily Telegraph Online’s sporting section. After waiting 100 years to win the big one, and 87 years since they had collected their only trophy (the 1979 Amco Cup) fans were rejoicing, that joy however was short lived when it was soon realised the club was still yet to taste it’s first premiership win and the story was on the club’s centenary and about the club’s start in the second division competition that began in 1963 prior to promotion to the First Grade competition in 1967, the story should have stated Cronulla Wins Second Division Title and should have been in the online news media’s historical section.

It was later revealed however that this was also incorrect as the club didn’t actually win a second division title either but in fact lost 9-7 to Kingsford in 1963 at its only appearance in a Second Division Grand Final. The Telegraph’s editor issued an apology to fans for getting them excited unnecessarily and claimed he didn’t know how such an error had occurred and somehow division was left out of the headline and the article appeared in the sport section by mistake, he also added “anyway we have never worried too much about facts or errors getting in the way of a good story”.

Fans were angry but philosophical about the gaffe, one fan saying “we are used to it, I still remember our 22 game losing streak in 2006-07”, another adding “and Luke Covell Jnr’s miss at goal from in front that lost the 2033 Preliminary Final, but we’ll win something in the next 100 years, I’m sure of that”…. Loyal fan’s still wait in hope…..

SMH Online – October 4, 2066

 

[dio]

:lol: :lol: :lol:

 

[Dutchy]

CRONULLA WINS SECOND TITLE

Cronulla fans were yesterday jumping for joy with news that the club had added a second trophy to its mantle after the story Cronulla wins second title headlined the Sydney’s Daily Telegraph Online’s sporting section. After waiting 100 years to win the big one, and 87 years since they had collected their only trophy (the 1979 Amco Cup) fans were rejoicing, that joy however was short lived when it was soon realised the club was still yet to taste it’s first premiership win and the story was on the club’s centenary and about the club’s start in the second division competition that began in 1963 prior to promotion to the First Grade competition in 1967, the story should have stated Cronulla Wins Second Division Title and should have been in the online news media’s historical section.

It was later revealed however that this was also incorrect as the club didn’t actually win a second division title either but in fact lost 9-7 to Kingsford in 1963 at its only appearance in a Second Division Grand Final. The Telegraph’s editor issued an apology to fans for getting them excited unnecessarily and claimed he didn’t know how such an error had occurred and somehow division was left out of the headline and the article appeared in the sport section by mistake, he also added “anyway we have never worried too much about facts or errors getting in the way of a good story”.

Fans were angry but philosophical about the gaffe, one fan saying “we are used to it, I still remember our 22 game losing streak in 2006-07”, another adding “and Luke Covell Jnr’s miss at goal from in front that lost the 2033 Preliminary Final, but we’ll win something in the next 100 years, I’m sure of that”…. Loyal fan’s still wait in hope…..

SMH Online – October 4, 2066

HAHAHAHA

 

[Mr. Fahrenheit]

:lol: hilarious thread.