TAWERA Nikau reckons the problem isn't playing with an artificial leg.
"No, it's chasing one," the New Zealand Test legend grins. "And every time I'm involved in one of these matches, when my leg comes off in a tackle or whatever, somebody always throws it away.
"Which is guaranteed to get a good laugh, of course. But then I've gotta go hop after the bloody thing."
Of all the footballers set to make headlines for being legless this winter, none will bring rugby league down quite like Tawera Nuieia Nikau lifts it up.
This inspiring amputee who coaches, commentates and has fought in charity boxing bouts. Has run the New York Marathon, too.
An unstoppable force who now, at age 44, is reviving his career alongside fellow Kiwi greats Gary Freeman, Ruben Wiki, Stacey Jones and Nigel Vagana.
Eight years after having his right leg amputated following a serious motorcycle accident, Nikau is among 30 league legends starring in a charity match for the Christchurch Earthquake Appeal.
And, oh, the memories that it conjures up.
Reviving images of an NRL enforcer with a mullet to rival John Stamos; eyes capable of staring down The Duke.
Whose 80 minutes were spent exactly as you'd expect of a fella who, when told that busted leg would require years in hospital, years away from his kids, simply shrugged and said: "OK . . . cut it off."
"But how could anyone not be involved in this?" Nikau asked The Daily Telegraph last night.
"There are so many people over here doing it tough right now, I think everyone in the country has been affected in some way.
"So as soon as Gary Freeman approached me about it, I was on board."
Indeed, it's a similar story for a growing list of retirees including David Kidwell, Tea Ropati and Hugh McGahan; Olsen Filipaina, Sean Hoppe and Kurt Sorensen.
Aussies David Peachey and Mario Fenech are also lining up alongside recent NRL retirees Nathan Cayless and Luke Covell.
But the biggest story of them all is Nikau.
This unbreakable Waikato boy who chases limbs and cops legless jokes, but can at least run on to Mount Smart Stadium next Thursday with his chances of a calf muscle tear halved, right?
"That's true, good point," Nikau laughs. "I'm also hoping organisers give me a pair of gold shorts or something like they use in the Masters Games.
"After all, I'm not exactly as quick as I used to be."
