Brayshaw is the forward marker of the new regime: an AFL commentator who trades in hyperbole and volume and phrases like “big unit”, and calls like a man who’s kept half an eye on cricket in pubs over the years. There are the touchstones: teenage Tendulkar made a Waca Ground hundred, Laxman and Dravid were rather good, Indian batsmen have wrists. But no detail, no effort to learn. Wriddhiman Saha would never have seen the Adelaide Oval, declared Brayshaw, when Saha’s grand total of two career Tests included an Adelaide debut. The most cursory glance at Cricinfo would have done the trick. “Gee, you’re unlucky,” was Slater’s vacant-grinning response. Or later in the series, Brayshaw again: “If you’re the Indian fast bowling coach – I don’t even know who that is, by the way...”
There’s a deliberate idiocy at work here: not just not knowing, but making a point of not knowing, and of telling us he doesn’t know. Consciously or not, this is Brayshaw nudging his audience to say that he doesn’t give a fig about this touring team, that none of us need to, they’re a mere backdrop to Australian glory.