Non Footy Chat Thread II

[parra pete]

The drover was from a huge cattle station in the outback and appeared before St. Peter at the Pearly Gates.
"Have you ever done anything of particular merit?" St. Peter asked.
"Yeah mate, one thing," the drover offered.....
"On a trip to the back blocks of Booligal out in New South Wales,
I came across a gang of bikers who were threatening a young Sheila.
I told them to leave her alone, but they wouldn't listen.
So I approached the largest, most heavily tattooed bikie and smacked him in the face, kicked his bike over, ripped out his nose rings, and threw them on the ground."
I yelled, "Now, back off!! Or I'll kick the crap out of the lot of ya!"
St. Peter was impressed, "When did this happen?"

"A couple of minutes ago."

 

[T.S Quint]

You can do better Pete.

 

[Twizzle]

saw the punchline coming before I got there, pretty obvious

 

[parra pete]

A balding, white haired man from Sanctuary Cove in Queensland, walked into a jewellery store on the Gold Coast last Friday evening with a beautiful, much younger, woman at his side. He told the jeweller he was looking for a really special ring for his new girlfriend.

The jeweller looked through his stock and brought out a $5,000 ring.
The man said, 'No, No, that’s a mere bauble… I'd like to see something much more special.'
At that statement, the jeweller went to his special stock and brought another ring over. 'Here's a stunning ring at only $140,000’ the jeweller said. The young lady's eyes sparkled and her whole body trembled with excitement. The old man seeing this said, 'I think we'll take it.'
The jeweller asked how payment would be made and the man stated, 'By cheque. But I know you’ll need to make sure my cheque is good, so I'll write it now, you can call the bank on Monday to verify the funds and we'll pick the ring up Monday afternoon.'
On Monday morning, the jeweller angrily phoned the old man and said 'There's no money in that account.'
'I know’, said the old man wearily ‘…but let me tell you all about my fantastic weekend!!'

 

[hineyrulz]

saw the punchline coming before I got there, pretty obvious

Yeah, but I still got a chuckle.

 

[TheParraboy]

2 elephants see a naked man for the first time

After a while observing the man, one elephant says to the other

"How does he eat with that thing"

 

[Eelogical]

Yeah, but I still got a chuckle.

Queenslander, please!

 

[Gary Gutful]

saw the punchline coming before I got there, pretty obvious

There was a punchline?

 

[parra pete]

There are two monkeys in a bath tub.
One says to the other ---- oohoohahah!
The other says --- Maybe add a little more cold water.

 

[T.S Quint]

Ok, that one raised a smile.

 

[Gary Gutful]

I went to the doctors with hearing problems.
He said “Can u describe the symptoms?”
I said “Homers a fat bloke and Marge has blue hair”

 

[hineyrulz]

I went to the doctors with hearing problems.
He said “Can u describe the symptoms?”
I said “Homers a fat bloke and Marge has blue hair”

Good one Pete.

 

[Gary Gutful]

Good one Pete.

Why cant dyslexics tell jokes?

 

[hineyrulz]

Why cant dyslexics tell jokes?

????

 

[Twizzle]

Is Bob Katter the biggest dickhead in Australian politics ?

I just saw him interviewed on Skynews, he refuses to say the word Muslim, he refers to them as "the M word"

He wants everyone to have guns like Americans so they can defend one another from other idiots with guns, oh.......and crocodiles.

Seriously, who the hell voted this f**kwit into the parliament

 

[hineyrulz]

Is Bob Katter the biggest dickhead in Australian politics ?

I just saw him interviewed on Skynews, he refuses to say the word Muslim, he refers to them as "the M word"

He wants everyone to have guns like Americans so they can defend one another from other idiots with guns, oh.......and crocodiles.

Seriously, who the hell voted this f**kwit into the parliament

QLDers.

 

[Gary Gutful]

Why cant dyslexics tell jokes?

????

They always punchup the f**kline.

 

[hineyrulz]

They always punchup the f**kline.

Boooooooom Tish!!

 

[Joshuatheeel]

Is Bob Katter the biggest dickhead in Australian politics ?

I just saw him interviewed on Skynews, he refuses to say the word Muslim, he refers to them as "the M word"

He wants everyone to have guns like Americans so they can defend one another from other idiots with guns, oh.......and crocodiles.

Seriously, who the hell voted this f**kwit into the parliament

Interestingly he just kicked Anning out of his party yesterday for basically being racist:

https://www.google.com.au/amp/s/amp...er-final-solution-speech-20181025-p50byk.html


“Mr Katter said Senator Anning had been booted because of a bill he introduced against party wishes proposing a plebiscite on restricting non-European immigration and banning Muslim migrants.”

“The unacceptable part was Senator Anning's division between European and non-European migrants, Mr Katter said.

"Clearly that is racist - clearly our policies are anti-racist," he said. KAP's policy is to preference migrants who will integrate into Australian society.”

 

[Gronk]

Is Bob Katter the biggest dickhead in Australian politics ?

I just saw him interviewed on Skynews, he refuses to say the word Muslim, he refers to them as "the M word"

He wants everyone to have guns like Americans so they can defend one another from other idiots with guns, oh.......and crocodiles.

Seriously, who the hell voted this f**kwit into the parliament

Kater is full weirdo. His recent blue with media over his Lebanese Pop was awkward racist spin.

Bob Katter slams any suggestion he could be lebanese

https://www.theaustralian.com.au/na...e/news-story/0e8f478b242e17125796e28f2c944839