Non Footy Chat Thread II

[hindy111]

I just read this article about a British bloke who jammed Wizz fizz down his foreskin. The merkin was mid 30s. It snap crackled and popped. Next thing you know he develops some sort of infection and if not for modern day medicine the stupid prick would be knobless. All for some candy flavoured sherbet.

 

[Gary Gutful]

I just read this article about a British bloke who jammed Wizz fizz down his foreskin. The merkin was mid 30s. It snap crackled and popped. Next thing you know he develops some sort of infection and if not for modern day medicine the stupid prick would be knobless. All for some candy flavoured sherbet.

Link or it didn't happen.

 

[Gary Gutful]

There are 10 cows in a field. Which one is on holiday? The one with the wee calf.

 

[Gary Gutful]

A Dundee woman in hospital giving birth, "Well done, it's' a boy, what are you going to call him?" the midwife asks. The woman replies "Nathan" the midwife says "aw come on, you have to call him something."

 

[Gary Gutful]

What is the difference between a Scottish sheep farmer and a Rolling Stones song? One says, “Hey you, get off of my cloud!”, and the other says, “Hey McCloud, get off of my ewe!”

 

[hindy111]

Link or it didn't happen.

What people do to get off

 

[Gary Gutful]

I met the Godfather of the Scottish mafia earlier. He made me an offer I couldn’t understand.

 

[hindy111]

Anyhows I have bigger problems. Ants have migrated into my laser jet printer. I tried to print off my SWMS for tomorow and it's all blurry with the odd soldier ant squished in. The merkins must of got into the rollers and worked there way down to the ink cartridge where they nested.
If anyone has a solution or has experience a similar sort of Ant attack please PM me. I am keeping my fingers crossed they haven't gotten down to the discharge lamps.

 

[Chipmunk]

What is the difference between a Scottish sheep farmer and a Rolling Stones song? One says, “Hey you, get off of my cloud!”, and the other says, “Hey McCloud, get off of my ewe!”

Reminds me of two Irish gay guys, Michael Fitzpatrick and Patrick Fitzmichael.

 

[strider]

Anyhows I have bigger problems. Ants have migrated into my laser jet printer. I tried to print off my SWMS for tomorow and it's all blurry with the odd soldier ant squished in. The merkins must of got into the rollers and worked there way down to the ink cartridge where they nested.
If anyone has a solution or has experience a similar sort of Ant attack please PM me. I am keeping my fingers crossed they haven't gotten down to the discharge lamps.

 

[Barry O'Speedwagon]

Anyhows I have bigger problems. Ants have migrated into my laser jet printer. I tried to print off my SWMS for tomorow and it's all blurry with the odd soldier ant squished in. The merkins must of got into the rollers and worked there way down to the ink cartridge where they nested.
If anyone has a solution or has experience a similar sort of Ant attack please PM me. I am keeping my fingers crossed they haven't gotten down to the discharge lamps.

Put a bowl of sugar next to the printer and see if that gets them out.

 

[Twizzle]

Sorry I can't read in a scottish accent. Is there an app for that ?

AI

 

[strider]

Put a bowl of sugar next to the printer and see if that gets them out.

Wont they come get the sugar and take it into the printer?

 

[Bandwagon]

Anyhows I have bigger problems. Ants have migrated into my laser jet printer. I tried to print off my SWMS for tomorow and it's all blurry with the odd soldier ant squished in. The merkins must of got into the rollers and worked there way down to the ink cartridge where they nested.
If anyone has a solution or has experience a similar sort of Ant attack please PM me. I am keeping my fingers crossed they haven't gotten down to the discharge lamps.

Adjust the anti bias in settings.

 

[hindy111]

Wont they come get the sugar and take it into the printer?

I don't want sugar in my ink jet. Plus that stuff makes them horny. They'll be doing it all over my office space ffs.

 

[strider]

I was told ants hate cinnamon .... i dont know if true ... and i dont think you should turn your printer into a cinnamon bun

 

[Chipmunk]

Anyhows I have bigger problems. Ants have migrated into my laser jet printer. I tried to print off my SWMS for tomorow and it's all blurry with the odd soldier ant squished in. The merkins must of got into the rollers and worked there way down to the ink cartridge where they nested.
If anyone has a solution or has experience a similar sort of Ant attack please PM me. I am keeping my fingers crossed they haven't gotten down to the discharge lamps.

You should consider opening up the laser jet printer and pour ant killer powder all through it.

 

[Barry O'Speedwagon]

Wont they come get the sugar and take it into the printer?

Put another bowl of sugar further away from the printer. And wait near it with a can of WD40 and torch the ants when they arrive.

 

[Incorrect]

Anyhows I have bigger problems. Ants have migrated into my laser jet printer. I tried to print off my SWMS for tomorow and it's all blurry with the odd soldier ant squished in. The merkins must of got into the rollers and worked there way down to the ink cartridge where they nested.
If anyone has a solution or has experience a similar sort of Ant attack please PM me. I am keeping my fingers crossed they haven't gotten down to the discharge lamps.

Go and buy a second laserjet printer and put sugar or syrup all through that. When the ants leave the first printer to go for the booty in the second printer, grab a hose and flush the insides of the first laserjet with soapy water. Leave it to dry and by the weekend your printer should be fine. And then maybe just leave the second LaserJet in front of your neighbours house on the nature strip for council clean up....

Can't believe you need me to explain this to you...

 

[strider]

Just buy an anteater ffs