Priceless Quotes

[Eelementary]

"Golden, ripe, boneless bananas 39 cents a pound."
Ad in the "Missoulian" by Orange Street Food Farm


"Sure there have been injuries and deaths in boxing - but none of them serious."
- Alan Minter, Boxer


"Do you have a Bandaid? Because I just scraped my knee falling for you."
Famous pick-up line.



"If God did not intend for us to eat animals, then why did he make them out of meat?" John Cleese



-"My mum stole my boyfriend!"
-"Your boyfriend stole my wife! Let's date each other to get back at them! Wait a minute....Daddy didn't think that through..."
Stan Smith, "American Dad!"



And two of my all-time favourite Zapp Brannigan quotes:

Zapp: Here's to us regular schmoes, working for the man. Even if he does happen to be a hot, sexy, female man

AND

Zapp: The key to a woman's heart is her parents - have sex with them and you're in!

 

[Rustay]

Haha you have to love Zapp :lol:

Watching last night, when he accidently blew up Headquarters with his laser set to 'Hyperdeath' and he just goes "Woopsey Daisy!" :lol: Very simple, yet effective.

Guess you had to be there :|

 

[brendothejet]

Oh futurama is ripe for the plucking when it comes to quotes.

Zapp: kif, your toilet seems to be set to stun, not kill.

Zapp: That young man fills me with hope, and some other emotions that are strange and confusing.

 

[Rustay]

Zapp: "You'd sacrifice this beautiful woman for a moderately attractive ape? You've been smoking some bad granola."

Zapp: "I like your style, Fry - you remind me of a young me, not much younger mind you, perhaps even a couple years older."

 

[Raider_69]

They can expect my revenge. I'm not crazy when I say this, they are the crazy ones who give you hot sausages before the match when it's 40 degrees celsius outside

- Damir Dokic

 

[canberra_raiders2k2]

Zapp: "I like your style, Fry - you remind me of a young me, not much younger mind you, perhaps even a couple years older."

hahaha, thats going on my msn.

my current one is..

"Is your refrigrator running? if so then it probably runs like you...very homosexually!" - Peter Griffin.

 

[LeagueNut]

The TV3 news in N.Z interviewed some Kiwi jogger tonight ... the story was all about the number of injuries she'd had recently, and she was hoping to be OK for the Commonwealth Games.

And she said "I hope my legs can stay together for this season".

All without missing a beat either, so I can only presume she had no idea what she had just said!

 

[canberra_raiders2k2]

she probably means that she gets injured while having sex...ok probably not.

 

[atomic_crimson]

he had great sex with our juniors - steve folkes regarding ricky stuart's time as coach of the lower grades at the bulldogs

 

[Bring back John Fifita]

Zapp, after he & Fry have had endless snu-snu with the Giant Women and they've demanded more..

Z: The Spirit is willing but the flesh is spongy, and bruised.

 

[Mr Saab]

- Damir Dokic

damir is the best. Love the quote about the sausages!!

 

[jeffrosaint]

A few from George W


"A low voter turnout is an indication of fewer people going to the polls."

"Rarely is the question asked: Is our children learning?"

"One word sums up probably the responsibility of any Governor, and that one word is 'to be prepared'."
"The most important job is not to be Governor, or First Lady in my case."

 

[jeffrosaint]

More American Presidents.


I have orders to be awakened at any time in the case of a national emergency, even if I'm in a cabinet meeting."
Ronald Reagan.

"It's no exaggeration to say that the undecideds could go one way or another."
George Bush.

"I'm glad I'm not Brezhnev. Being the Russian leader in the Kremlin. You never know if someone's tape recording what you say."
Richard Nixon.

"I have opinions of my own - strong opinions - but I don't always agree with them."
George Bush.

 

[shadow grinder]

"And so during these holiday seasons, we thank our blessings." —George W. Bush,

"I promise you I will listen to what has been said here, even though I wasn't here." -George bush

"Our enemies are innovative and resourceful, and so are we. They never stop thinking about new ways to harm our country and our people, and neither do we."- george bush

 

[brendothejet]

"Don't misunderestimate us" - George W.

he truly is a f**ktard.

 

[brendothejet]

George Bush is in hs office when an official runs in with a paniced look on his face.

Mr President! there has been a landslide in south america and a hundred brazillions have been killed.

George looks puzzled and asks...

"how many is in a brazillion again?"

 

[Eelementary]

The only acting you ever see at the Oscars is when people act like they're not mad they lost. Nicole Kidman was smiling so wide, she should have won an Emmy at the Oscars for her great performance. I was like, 'If you'd done that in the movie, you'd have won an Oscar, girl!
-- Chris Rock

Our next presenter is the first woman to ever breast-feed an Apple - Gwyneth Paltrow.
-- Chris Rock

[subsequently sacked over this remark]
David Beckham won't go to Newcastle after what the Toon Army did in Asia.
-- Rodney Marsh

We were so poor my daddy unplugged the clocks when we went to bed.
-- Chris Rock

My father was a simple man. My mother was a simple woman. You see the result standing in front of you, a simpleton.
-- Chic Murray

 

[Feez_Giggles]

hahahahaha gold, i love chris rock. i have been watching his show all weekend, everybody hates chris, its crackalackin!!

also american dad is GOLD, stan has the best lines hahahahahahahaha omg.

 

[Dr Crane]

Zapp: "Leela, i have a plan"
Leela: "Why don't you tell it to wingus and dingus over there"
Zapp: "Wingus, Dingus...i have a plan"

 

[The Camden Leisure Pirate]

Best pick-up line ever,
"Hey, I might not be the best looking guy in here, but I'm the only one talking to you."