Night Eleven
The Lego Company was out in search of a new line with which to win over the hearts, minds, and wallets of discerning consumers. So far its Abra Stone range had not sold well at all, and things were getting dire.
"Sweet Chimichanga," the figure in red and black laughed as it saw the blocky figure trying in vain to creep through the house, "You have got to be the strangest villain I've ever seen!"
So distracted was the Lego Company that it forgot what it had been looking for. Instead, it just listened to the man with the mask.
-----
The woman who had once been beautiful but was now closer to a six had just returned from rocking the world of the alcoholic drug addict when she came upon the man in the striped sweater with the guitar.
"Never made it as a wise man," he began to growl, "Couldn't cut it as a poor man stealing".
Against her will, she reached into her handbag and took out her nail file. If she had to hear this drivel for another moment, she'd stick the damned thing in her eye and end it all.
"I AM GROOT!" the tree roared as it burst from the undergrowth. It had its heart set on protecting the sad old woman, but the fine Scotch it had enjoyed somewhat diminished its facilities.
It knocked her head clean off.
Coby is dead. He was A Lonely Cougar in a Nightclub, Temptation Aligned Bad Decision
Somewhere, a past conquest felt a sudden urge to start drinking.
------
Both the sniper and the jilted musician had the same target in their minds that night. The foul-smelling old peddler never stood a chance.
sensesmaybenumbed is dead. He was Padan Fain, Evil Aligned Peddler and Darkfriend
Wearing his riot gear and nodding sagely, the man watching over Taylor Swift thought about how cool his uncle was.
-----
The three bumbling room-mates had been given strict orders after their previous night's failure. They were not to be distracted by shiny objects or pretty girls.
"It's not fair," the Jew whined, "She doesn't know how hard it is".
"Haha," chuckled their leader, "You said 'hard'".
They found their target enjoying a good Scotch and reading from one of his many leather bound books. They put him down.
Drew-Sta is dead. He was Lego Ron Burgundy, Lego Aligned Lego Tie-In
-----
The dog whined in agony one last time as it grunted out the hellish, demi-god (or is it demi-dog?) that it had been forced to bring to term.
The foul hellbeast didn't even wait around to see if its father/mother was okay. It bounded off and tore the jugular from the throat of the Lego executives.
Frederick is dead. He was The Lego Company, Lego Aligned Toy Manufacturing Giant
Jupiter's c**k was busy that night. He f**ked a whole bunch of people and made a whole lot of them pregnant. Uh oh...
------
The man in the hat decided to have a crack at the blue eyed girl who was always singing so much. Her roommates wouldn't let some creepy old cancer patient do that to her. She was too whimsical to die such a mundane death.
Zooey Deschanel is not dead. She is Zooey Deschanel, ??? Aligned Girl Next Door
