Azkatro for the Kangaroos.
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Twenty Tweets
As an increasing number of public figures have jumped onto the Twitter bandwagon, it's no surprise that there have been quite a few embarrassing gaffes in 2010. Arguably the worst example of an Australian athlete letting a few loose words slip out to an audience of billions was Stephanie Rice, with some unfortunate use of the other "f" word.
It just goes show us that professional sport athletes are people too. For every random thought that comes to fruition as a "tweet", there must be thousands of similar ones that go unpublished. It got me wondering - what might we see if Twitter was wired into the brains of players?
Without further ado, I've conjured up twenty (completely hypothetical) tweets that we might have seen from NRL players in 2010.
@Robbie_Farah
I had a good game tonight. No idea what the score was, but I'm pretty sure I got 3 Dally M points. If not then the judge is a moron. Get that up ya,
@Cam_Smith!
@Todd_Carney
Good night tonight, we smashed the Tigers 44-32.
@Robbie_Farah hasn't changed since I played, telling everyone how good he is. Did my tats look good on TV?
@Darius_Boyd
Tired from studying. Run to the left, do paper/scissors/rock in my head, paper is cutout, scissors is run it, rock is kick. #toomuchtoremember
@Terry_Campese
My
@uncleDavid has just been telling me how awesome I am. He thinks I'm above Lockyer and should play for Australia! Although he said I'm not as good as him..
@Sam_Burgess
Fookin' tough day today lads. Had to meet sponsors and put on the accent again. Now Russell's here and won't stop yapping about how big my hands are.
@Mark_Gasnier
Looks like I'm coming back to the Dragons! Can't wait, I'm sick to death of playing with this f**got mob in pink. Talk about being toey ... F*** me, fire up!!!
@Greg_Inglis
Good start to the year, scored a try and we beat Cronulla. Might take the boat out tomorrow for a little celebration. Storm back-to-back in 2010 for sure, baby!
@Luke_Burt
Not happy..
@coach_Anderson said he's making
@Fatarse co-captain! It's not fair, I'm better! I'll show them .. I'll win us games with my accurate goalkicking >:-D
@Luke_Covell
Well I did it, recovered from an ACL tear in half a season. They said being slow was a weakness. Well HA HA, JOKE'S ON YOU, LOSERS! COVELL RULES! #pleasekillme
@Jason_Nightingale
I've had a gutful of being sledged about how funny I look doing the Haka. What else am I supposed to do? I can't just stand there, they'll bloody rip me apart!
@Ryan_Tandy
Just put 100 on Minichiello to win the Dally M, 5000 on Souths to win the comp, and 3000 on the Cowboys to score a penal... actually, forget that last one! #oops
@Braith_Anasta
I am so mad! F***ing
@Brian_Smith, wants to play me at lock. It won't work! Screw it, I'll just run at little blokes and he'll quickly see how I'm wasted there.
@Micheal_Luck
Got a little cut on my leg today and
@Mannering almost gagged when he saw it! What a weakling. Pissed off that I couldn't keep playing, it was nothing!
@Luke_ODonnell
ARGH! I hate traffic! I am going to f***ing RIP someone's head off! And now my dinner's a bit cold. F***EVERYTHING! Gotta fire up for Origin next week! F***!!!!!
@Paul_Gallen
I just learnt some new moves from our wrestling coach, I can now stop someone breathing through a pressure point in their arm. Awesome! Man, I need to piss!
@Brent_Tate
As if it isn't bad enough wearing this thing on my neck, this facial hair thing is ridiculous! I can't wait to get to Townsville in '11 so I can shave!
@Timana_Tahu
Life is SO unfair. Seriously. I didn't get time to fix my hair this morning and
@Fatarse goes "nice hair Timana!" OMG, I am still bawling my eyes out
@Cam_Smith
Well we're busted. They're announcing it after the game against Manly. I can keep it together though. Just hope they don't find my other 4 contracts!
@Anthony_Watmough
Just appeared on the Footy show. I think it went well. Sterlo is smart but I held up well next to him. I'm glad they didn't rib me about the '07 grand final!
@Johnathan_Thurston
F***, we lost again tonight, now we're out of the finals for sure. Time to hit the piss. I wonder if I can play the rest of the season without sobering up?
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747 words. Liftoff!
DISCLAIMER: None of the "tweets" in the above article are real, nor do they represent the actual views of the players mentioned.