Tasmania is a small island nation approximately 8km off the Southern New Zealand coastline, it’s main exports are Robert (Bay56), pig intestine condoms & people with 2 or more heads
Tasmania was discovered by Captain James Cook in 1787 one year before he landed in Botany Bay of Australia in 1788. His stay in Tasmania was brief and “disappointing”, James and his all man ship were intrigued by a promotional flyer found that advertised a circus that included a dog, horse, pig and bearded lady, upon arrival of Tasmania he was horrified to see the circus was one horribly deformed person, known only as Sir Bob.
The trip was not a total waste as James picked up some condoms for his Australia holiday where he hoped to “bang heaps of hot aborigine chicks”. However loneliness would get the better of James who ran out of condoms halfway to Australia.
Sick of being the butt of all jokes in Australia, and receiving little support from their New Zealand brothers, Tasmania turned its back on the western world in 1990 and aligned itself with North Korea & the middle east, all countries who wished to be one of the cool kids but got laughed at. It wasn’t long before Tasmania became the leader of the clique with North Korea applauding their god like looks and the Middle East falling in love with their ultimate hairy woman and hairless goats.
Since 1990 the Tasmanians have won the Miss North Korea contest 16 out 17 times, with the only defeat coming in 2004 when Kim Jong-Ill asserted his authority and claimed victory. In an effort the smooth over his relationship with Tasmania Kim released a promotional poster for the Miss North Korea pageant to be held in Tasmania for the first time in history
The poster was a huge hit in Tasmania and in 2005 a new Miss North Korea was crowned, with Princess Bay winning the crown, this was also the same year the Middle East screened the event, watched by more than 50 Million people, the result would have been more but someone drove a bus into a crowded shopping centre, while in Iraq Americans were busy “freeing” Iraqis by killing them.
Princess Bay, Miss North Korea 2005
The End