SHIT TOWN POWER RANKINGS 20/7/25
1. Sydney, NSW - Dipshit arsonist sets own pants on fire while firebombing beauty clinic; Frenchman bowled over by cop car speeding to brawl
2. Hobart, TAS - Psycho stabs bloke because he wouldn’t give him a ciggie; gronks steal electrical cables powering streetlights
3. Townsville, QLD - 4 cop cars rammed by 12-year-old kids in stolen car; couple hurl stubbies at staff during pub robbery; creep wanks outside strangers’ houses while trying to open their doors
4. Nowra, NSW - Maniac allegedly chucks axe at cops before hijacking woman’s car and running her over
5. Newcastle, NSW - 10-year-old robs servo at knifepoint for 2 bottles of milk
6. Cairns, QLD - 300 gronks brawl in street after State of Origin
7. Melbourne, VIC - Dumbarse hit by unmarked cop car after jumping out of stolen van following 7-hour police chase; cop stood down after allegedly using public CCTV to spy on ex-girlfriend
8. Canberra, ACT - Gronk strips naked in hotel lobby then tries to break into marked cop car
9. Gold Coast, QLD - Tourists’ clothes stolen from laundromat dryer while they assist with car crash
10. Beaconsfield, TAS - Gronkess breaks into police station, steals police jacket and hat
11. Port Pirie, SA - Still shit