_Johnsy
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I am sure some of you can take this article in the same spirit as it was written.
http://theunaustralian.com.au/2010/0...t-of-the-game/
Quote:
Tackling Jarryd Hayne found to be “not in the spirit of the game”
In the fallout from Friday night’s NRL season opener, some of rugby league’s most vocal critics have slammed the St. George-Illawarra Dragons for having the audacity to tackle Jarryd Hayne, Parramatta fullback and direct descendant of popular theological figure Jesus Christ.
Hayne, 2009’s Dally M Medal winner and new golden child of the sport, as well as league journalists, were found to be appalled when several players from the Dragons wrapped their arms around his chest — sometimes his waist or his legs — in an attempt to pull him to the ground and secure the ball, whereupon the play was completed in a move commonly known as a “tackle”. Such a play forced him to relinquish the ball without scoring a try or curing it of blindness. Though such an act was well within the rules of the game, it has been deemed to be a “dog act” by several notable critics, and as such, the rule is under review.
“Oh, it’s a shocker,” says prominent league writer Peter Katzitsos. “The whole point of having Jarryd Hayne in the league is having him score tries at every given opportunity, completely untouched, so that we can wax lyrical the next day about how he may well have legitimately deistic qualities.
“Who wants to watch a game of league that we can’t wet ourselves over? Not me, I tell you what.”
In response to what could well be a series of passive-aggressive editorials in the sports section of pointless tabloids, the NRL has undertaken a typical kneejerk bandaid scheme to try and amend the rule.
The rule, an amendment to the recent Jarryd Hayne Rule, called the Just Let Jarryd Hayne Do Whatever He Wants Rule, will allow any Parramatta fullbacks named Jarryd Hayne to be able to do absolutely anything they please while on-field. As such, examples of previously prohibited behaviour that Jarryd Hayne will be able to partake in include eye gouging, groin kicking, passing forward at will, blowing penalties for his own side, expelling supporters he deems unattractive from the ground, and even running up to the scoreboard operators to change the score to suit his liking.
“We felt like Jarryd Hayne just wasn’t being given the freedom to effectively become the only player of any significance in the league,” said NRL rulemaker Lawrence Hutz. “With this new rule we’re confident that people will forget every other player in the league.
“With any luck they’ll stop caring about the football, too, so then we can dissolve the clubs and just show Jarryd Hayne standing in a white room for 80 minutes every Friday and Sunday while Ray Warren and Phil Gould rub themselves in the commentary booth.”
The rule is expected to be green-lighted by this weekend’s games, which will allow Jarryd Hayne to burn holes through Manly second rower Anthony Watmough with laser beams shot from his eyes, and offer decisive proof of fullback Brett Stewart’s guilt in his sexual assault case during the half time break.
Hayne himself has declined to comment on Friday’s game, instead electing to fly to the moon using sheer force of will while performing delicate neurosurgery on a deaf orphan.
http://theunaustralian.com.au/2010/0...t-of-the-game/
Quote:
Tackling Jarryd Hayne found to be “not in the spirit of the game”
In the fallout from Friday night’s NRL season opener, some of rugby league’s most vocal critics have slammed the St. George-Illawarra Dragons for having the audacity to tackle Jarryd Hayne, Parramatta fullback and direct descendant of popular theological figure Jesus Christ.
Hayne, 2009’s Dally M Medal winner and new golden child of the sport, as well as league journalists, were found to be appalled when several players from the Dragons wrapped their arms around his chest — sometimes his waist or his legs — in an attempt to pull him to the ground and secure the ball, whereupon the play was completed in a move commonly known as a “tackle”. Such a play forced him to relinquish the ball without scoring a try or curing it of blindness. Though such an act was well within the rules of the game, it has been deemed to be a “dog act” by several notable critics, and as such, the rule is under review.
“Oh, it’s a shocker,” says prominent league writer Peter Katzitsos. “The whole point of having Jarryd Hayne in the league is having him score tries at every given opportunity, completely untouched, so that we can wax lyrical the next day about how he may well have legitimately deistic qualities.
“Who wants to watch a game of league that we can’t wet ourselves over? Not me, I tell you what.”
In response to what could well be a series of passive-aggressive editorials in the sports section of pointless tabloids, the NRL has undertaken a typical kneejerk bandaid scheme to try and amend the rule.
The rule, an amendment to the recent Jarryd Hayne Rule, called the Just Let Jarryd Hayne Do Whatever He Wants Rule, will allow any Parramatta fullbacks named Jarryd Hayne to be able to do absolutely anything they please while on-field. As such, examples of previously prohibited behaviour that Jarryd Hayne will be able to partake in include eye gouging, groin kicking, passing forward at will, blowing penalties for his own side, expelling supporters he deems unattractive from the ground, and even running up to the scoreboard operators to change the score to suit his liking.
“We felt like Jarryd Hayne just wasn’t being given the freedom to effectively become the only player of any significance in the league,” said NRL rulemaker Lawrence Hutz. “With this new rule we’re confident that people will forget every other player in the league.
“With any luck they’ll stop caring about the football, too, so then we can dissolve the clubs and just show Jarryd Hayne standing in a white room for 80 minutes every Friday and Sunday while Ray Warren and Phil Gould rub themselves in the commentary booth.”
The rule is expected to be green-lighted by this weekend’s games, which will allow Jarryd Hayne to burn holes through Manly second rower Anthony Watmough with laser beams shot from his eyes, and offer decisive proof of fullback Brett Stewart’s guilt in his sexual assault case during the half time break.
Hayne himself has declined to comment on Friday’s game, instead electing to fly to the moon using sheer force of will while performing delicate neurosurgery on a deaf orphan.
