The pyros explode and we’re live on Monday Night Raw!
Jim Ross: It’s the night after Royal Rumble and Kurt Angle’s heroic win has put him on the Road to Wrestlemania! Will he choose to go after Kazarian’s World Heavyweight Title or Ric Flair’s WWF Title?
JBL: I think Kurt Angle is about to find out that winning an Olympic Gold Medal was a whole hell of a lot easier than winning the WWF Title at Wrestlemania. No matter who he chooses, he’s hopelessly out of his depth. Pro wrestling is -
McMahon: Sports entertainment.
JBL: Huh?
MrMcMahon: Don’t use the ‘P’ word. It’s sports entertainment.
JBL: Oh, sure, whatever. Sports entertainment is an entirely different kettle of fish.
Kurt Angle’s music hits and the red, white, and blue floods the arena as the Olympian makes his way out to the adulation of the crowd. The young buck has enjoyed a stellar first year in the WWF, having held the United States Title for six months before dropping it to Bobby Roode late last year.
Angle basks in the adoration of the crowd as he takes a microphone and prepares to speak.
Jim Ross: Who will it be?
JBL: He’d be crazy to make a decision now, JR. Elimination Chamber is at the end of the month and that could change everything. Let the man talk!
Cole: Vintage banter.
Angle: Last night, I endured what was the most grueling challenge of my career. Coming in so early in the Royal Rumble and facing off against 30 other men including the likes of Undertaker, Razor Ramon, Goldberg, Bret Hart, and Yokozuna was as physically demanding as my Olympic Gold Medal win – broken neck and all.
Jim Ross: What an American hero.
JBL: What an arrogant ass. He thinks he can waltz in here and just be good at prof – sports entertainment just because he won a gold medal?
Jim Ross: He did just win the Royal Rumble, JBL….
Angle: The question on everybody’s lips now seems to be: “Who will it be, Kurt? Who will you face at Wrestlemania?” I’d love to give you an answer, guys, but there are just too many unknowns. I’ve got to use all of my intelligence to decide. I’ve got to let my integrity steer me towards the man who most deserves an OIympic Slam and a broken freakin’ ankle. And you better believe that whoever that man is – I will beat them. Oh it’s true. It’s damn true! I’ll turn all of my intensity towards them and when the straps come down and the lights overhead twinkle like the stars on the flag we all love so much – I’ll twist their ankle right off their leg and I’ll walk out of Wrestlemania as your new champion. Oh it’s true! It’s true!
We’re interrupted now by the arrival of
Kaz and Razor Ramon. The two combined together last night to ensure that Kazarian held on to his World Heavyweight Title against Diamond Dallas Page, and they’re both looking plenty arrogant with their hair slicked back and toothpicks in their mouths.
Ramon: Hey yo.
The fans begin to boo.
Ramon: Is this thing on?
Jim Ross: What do these two clowns want?
JBL: Shut your mouth, JR! That is your World Heavyweight Champion and a Raw contracted wrestler. He has more right to be out here than that Smackdown star.
Ramon hands the microphone to his employer, who lets the crowd’s booing die down a little before speaking.
Kaz: Oh, I'm sorry, Kurt; did we interrupt you?
Angle: Yeah, you did. Do you have something to say, Kaz? Or is it just date night for you two?
Kaz: Oh man, I wouldn't want to interrupt you. You keep going. I'll just sit and listen.
Razor presents a fold out chair for Kaz to sit in. He sits, and Razor and he open a pair of beers.
Angle: Last night I -
Kaz: BO-RING! BO-RING! I'm sorry, Kurt, but I can't let you keep talking. You won the Royal Rumble last night? Whoop-de-doo. I am the WWE World Heavyweight Champion. I am the most dominant force on Monday Night Raw and I proved it again last night.
Jim Ross: The only thing he proved last night is that he can’t win without Razor Ramon’s help!
JBL: Shut up, JR! You’re just jealous because you don’t have any friends.
Kaz: I get that you want your little moment in the sun, Kurt. After all, it's been nearly twenty years since the 1996 Olympics and you're struggling for relevance. Frankly, I'm glad you stopped beating that poor, dead horse.
JBL: Twenty years? But Kurt is only 29 years old.
McMahon: Don’t question it, guys. Time’s become a little fuzzy. The world has moved on.
Kaz: The thing is though, Kurtis. Can I call you Kurtis?
Kurt shakes his head.
Kaz: Anyway, Kurtis, the thing is that you're out here to get some adoration from these plebians and I guess I can respect that. You don't have the gold to make you feel relevant, after all. But, and I hope I don't hurt your feelings here: nobody cares.
Kaz: You hear that? They're booing because they don't care.
They boo louder.
Kaz: They
really don't care.
Kurt: They’re booing you. They’re sick and tired of your arrogance and your cheating and your… your…
Ramon: Machismo?
Kaz: Kurt, chico, I don’t know why you’re getting all worked up. I just wanted to come out here and congratulate you on your little victory last night. I hear it was pretty impressive. I couldn’t find the time to watch, unfortunately. You know how it is, Kurt. You get the belt, then you get the money, and then the women come hard and fast.
Ramon: Then they leave.
Kaz: You and I aren’t so different, Kurt. We both love the red, white, and blue. You love the flag. Me? I love the red of a smacked ass, the white of fresh powder, and blue as in ‘I saw your mother last night, and she blue me’.
Angle isn’t pleased!
Angle: Dorothy Angle is a saint!
Ramon: Hey, cool it, home slice. Don’t make the bad guy come down there.
Angle: Both of you get your asses down here. I don’t need to wait until Wrestlemania to break somebody’s ankle.
Kaz: Whoa, whoa, whoa! Boys, cool it! This is the pro wrestling *business*. We’re not animals. Look, Kurt, I apologize for insulting your mother. I’m sure it was some other toothless transvestite last night.
Angle: You let a transvestite blow you?
Kaz: I… uh…
Kaz is clearly flustered. He throws down the mike and he and Ramon rush towards the ring, where Angle eagerly awaits them.
He catches Kaz with an overhead belly to belly suplex, but gets cold-cocked by Ramon who grabs him full nelson style and holds him while Kaz recovers.
JBL: Looks like Angle should have kept his mouth shut, JR.
JR: You don’t insult a man’s mother, JBL. Angle has every right to want to beat these two clowns up.
JBL: For a guy who boasts about intelligence, math isn’t one of his strong suits. The numbers game is against him here.
Or, at least it was. Here comes Diamond Dallas Page and the crowd goes nuts.
Ramon turns around right into a Diamond Cutter, and Kaz smartly bails out before Angle or DDP can get their hands on him.
DDP and Kurt Angle shake hands, and it looks like they’re on the same page for tonight.
We return from break with highlights from Kurt Angle’s altercation with Kaz and Razor Ramon before the break.
Jim Ross: An explosive opening to Monday Night Raw. What will the rest of the night hold.
Cole: Gentlemen, Raw General Manager, Eric Bischoff has just informed me that tonight’s main event will see Kaz & Razor Ramon against Kurt Angle and DDP. What a huge main event.
JBL: I hope Kaz and Razor Ramon beat some respect into Kurt Angle. He was out of line coming to our show and taking valuable air-time from a Raw superstar.
The strains of some very French chamber music laden with harpsichord and arrogance hit as Lady Katarina (Katie Lea Burchill) comes out to the ring in her glittering evening gown. Her butler, Jeeves, is on hand to open the ropes for her and help her out of her mink coat.
Cole: Here is a woman we can all admire and look up to. Lady Katarina is an inspiration to us all.
JBL: She’s even richer than me!
Jerry Lawler, as if waking from a slumber, speaks up.
King: Puppies!
Jim Ross: This match will be the first of three matches to decide which three WWF divas will face WWF Women’s Champion, Nikita Blue at Elimination Chamber. And here comes her opponent!
The revving of engines precludes the arrival of her opponent, Niki Nitro. Wearing spiked shoulder pads and a helmet reminiscent of the Road Warriors, the face painted, pink haired Australian rushes to the ring as “Jungle” by Jamie N Commons hits.
Match #1 – Niki Nitro v Lady Katarina
http://ts2.mm.bing.net/th?id=HN.608042841055693787&pid=1.7
There’s a real contrast in styles and personalities here. Nitro is a smash-mouth brawler with high intensity, while Katarina shies away from base brawling in favour of methodical technical wrestling. The fan’s hatred of stuffy Brits makes Niki Nitro a firm fan favourite here.
After a brief period of stalling and rest holds that earns the ire of the crowd, Lady Katarina finds herself eating Nitro Glycerine stunner and the 1-2-3.
WINNER: Niki Nitro (Nitro Glycerine) in 5:17
Jim Ross: NIKI NITRO! NIKI NITRO! NIKI NITRO! Bah gawd! What a hellacious stunner from Niki Nitro!
JBL: You really miss Steve, don’t you?
Jim Ross: I’d rather not talk about it.
Cole: Niki Nitro advances to Elimination Chamber where she’ll face Nikita Blue and two other qualifiers who’ll be decided in the next three weeks.
King: More puppies?
-------
We’re backstage now where we find Triple H and Batista arriving at the arena. The cocky pair are three time former WWF Tag Team Champions, and it won’t be long before both are making waves in the main event scene.
Triple H: So, that green bitch, did you hit that?
Batista: Zoe Saldana? Naw. Ever since I saw your ex in that Avengers porn parody, I get inverted when I see a woman with green skin.
Triple H: Fair play.
The two round a corner and bump into what appears to be a carnival taking place. Somebody is juggling, a girl is blowing bubbles, a gigantic freak of a man is lifting a massive barbell, and Mike Knox is presiding over it all in a coat and top hat.
Seeing them, the bearded man bows.
Knox: Step right up! Step right up! See Mike Knox’s fantastic traveling show!
Triple H: What the fu-
Knox: I can see you two gentlemen are in need of entertainment. What’s your pleasure? Will you see the Amazing Maria perform magic tricks?
Maria takes off her top hat and pulls a rather dead looking rabbit out of it.
Knox: Not to your liking? How about Matt ‘The Freak’ Morgan? Strongest man alive?
Batista: I somehow doubt that…
Knox: Ah, you’re in need of a laugh! Say no more! Let me introduce you to Crazzzzzy Lance!
Lance Storm, looking anything but crazy in his depressed clown face paint, steps up with a seltzer bottle. He proceeds to spray himself in the face and look generally downtrodden.
Triple H: Did you hit your head when you got thrown out of the ring yesterday, Mike? Get out of our way.
Knox: Of course, sirs! There’s just the small matter of our fee.
Triple H: Fee? I’m not paying for this circus shit!
Mike Knox shows remarkable dexterity to reach forward and pluck a coin from behind Triple H’s ear.
Knox: Never fear, sirs, we do not accept money. Your laughter is payment enough! Go on in and embrace the day!
Batista and Triple H shake their heads and begin to head past.
Knox: Good luck in our match tonight, by the way. Let’s go out there and give them a real show!
Batista: Our match?
Knox: Oh yes! You two will be facing myself and yon Freak. It’s going to be great!
Triple H and Batista exchange dubious glances and head on into the arena.
JBL: What the hell did I just witness?
Cole: They’re a traveling band of entertainers, John. Vintage troubadours!
JBL: They’re vintage idiots, is what they are.
After the break, the pounding of a gavel is followed by ominous music as David Otunga and Chris Nowinski of Legal Action come out to the ring in their wrestling gear. Each of them sets their briefcases down and begins to fill out waivers as they await their opponents.
The pyros explode and Disturbed’s ‘Down with the Sickness’ roars over the PA as the WWF Tag Team Champions, Brodus Clay and Tensai rush to the ring to defend the straps.
Match #2: Tons of Pain © v Legal Action for the WWF Tag Team Titles
Legal Action are at an obvious size disadvantage against Tensai and Brodus Clay, but have always compensated for their smaller statures with underhanded techniques and general cowardice. When they’re not ducking out of the ring or begging off in a corner, they’re thumbing an eye or making good use of ring positioning to isolate Brodus Clay and wear him out with quick tags.
It all comes unstuck for the challenges when Clay is able to lay them both out with a clothesline and crawl to Tensai’s corner. A body avalanche and a second rope splash crushes Nowinski, and David Otunga walks right into the Scissor Kick for the 1-2-3.
WINNERS AND STILL WWF TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS: Tons of Pain (Scissor Kick by Tensai on Otunga) in 7:53
Tons of Pain don’t have much time to celebrate their victory, as the World’s Greatest Tag Team slide into the ring. While Shelton Benjamin dropkicks Tensai hard enough to send him out through the middle rope, Charlie Haas blindsides Clay with a clothesline. Their work done, the two cocky young stars pluck up the tag titles and hold them overhead.
Tensai has recovered and is getting back into the ring. Shelton Benjamin and Charlie Haas make tracks.
JBL: That’s how you get somebody’s attention!
Jim Ross: Brodus and Tensai are fighting champions. If Shelton and Charlie really were as great as they say they are, they’d have attacked when their opponents were looking.
JBL: Honour and nobility are excuses losers use, JR. When I was champion, I kept my title by whatever means necessary. Only idiots hide behind ideology.
After the break, the battered and bruised pairing of David Otunga and Chris Nowinski are returning to their locker room.
They open the door to come upon a most unsavoury scene. Val Venis holds a handy cam and seems to be filming some kind of sex act between Roman Reigns and an unknown woman. Their arrival is an obvious distraction, as Val Venis looks agitated.
Venis: Cut! Who let these idiots onto my set?
Otunga and Nowinski look confused.
Venis: Look, guys. Roman will be signing autographs as soon as the shoot is over. Give him five more minutes –
Roman: Fifteen.
Venis: Fifteen more minutes and he’ll sign whatever you want. You guys are obviously a couple, so if you’d like I can source some material more up your alley, so to speak. Roman only does hetero.
Val Venis manages to make almost anything sound unbelievably dirty, and Legal Action are clearly uncomfortable. Capitalizing on their speechlessness, Venis ferries them to the door and pushes them out into the hall.
After a long, awkward moment (and the resumption of moaning from behind the now closed door), David speaks up.
David: Was that your sister in there?
Chris: I don’t want to talk about it. Let’s just find somewhere else to shower.
The announce table is full of excitement. Jerry Lawler can barely contain his bouncing excitement as he claps his hands together like a genius with ice cream.
Match #3 – Goldberg v Haystacks Calhoun
Haystacks Calhoun may be a big hoss (weighing in at a shade under 700 pounds) but he’s no match for Goldberg’s explosive offense. Having whipped Goldberg to the corner, he goes for a corner splash, but eats a Spear for his trouble.
Deciding that he probably can’t Jackhammer 700lbs, Goldberg makes do with the cover and the 1-2-3.
WINNER: Goldberg (Spear) in 0:31
Jim Ross: A dominant win by Goldberg there!
JBL: He destroyed him!
Haystacks Calhoun is a no-selling piece of shit.
We once again find ourselves backstage, and WWF Women’s Champion, Nikita Blue is watching footage of Niki Nitro’s win over Lady Katarina earlier this evening.
As she watches, WWF United States Champion, Bobby Roode and his girlfriend, Sunny enter the room and watch over her shoulder.
As she becomes aware of their presence, the German star turns around.
Nikita: Vat is zis? Can I ‘elp you?
Bobby: Sorry, ‘fraulein’, we didn’t mean to distract your preparations. Shouldn’t you be rounding up all of the Goldsteins in the audience and tagging them?
Sunny: Yeah, ‘Hitler’. You’re, like, German and stuff.
Bobby gives her a look of frustration.
Bobby: Calling her German isn’t an insult, Sunny. We talked about this.
Sunny: It so is! They lost the war and stuff!
Bobby: So? How does that make it an insult?
Sunny: Coz she’s a loser?
Bobby sighs and face palms before speaking again.
Bobby: Listen, Nikita, my girlfriend wanted to come and make fun of you, but she’s clearly not equipped for this.
Sunny: I am too! Watch! Hey, Nikita, I have some cream for that cellulite. I’d be happy to lend it to you, if you like.
Bobby: Oooohhhh! Burn!
Nikita: Do they make cream for black eyes, Sunny?
Sunny: I imagine foundation helps. You’d really need to ask Emma Benoit though…
Nikita: Maybe I can ‘elp? I’m German, so it is obvious that I am a… how to say? A bad guy. I must hate freedom and America, is that right?
Sunny: Yeah! You’re German! See, Bobby, she admits it!
Nikita: I am also the WWF Women’s Champion. If you want to make the fun, step into the ring and we will see who is the laughing one.
Bobby: She doesn’t fight, Nikita. I’m the one who fights.
Nikita: Well, that is fine. Let us fight, you and me. Or are you afraid you won’t be able to handle a woman who is not all blondeness and giggling?
Bobby: Fight a woman? It wouldn’t be fair.
Suddenly, Big Show looms into frame. He eyes off Bobby Roode before speaking.
Big Show: What about me, Bobby? Would it be fair to fight me?
Bobby doesn’t reply.
Big Show: You two make me sick. Do you pick on everybody from a different country? Shame on you. This country was built by people from other countries. That’s what makes this country great. Get out of here before I squash you.
Sunny is hiding behind Bobby now, who maintains his composure even as he slowly backs out of the room.
Bobby: You’re lucky I’m busy, Big Show. This isn’t over.
Big Show: I hope not, Bobby. That belt belongs around the waist of a patriot, not a cowardly bigot.
Roode and Sunny leave, and Nikita turns back to her footage. Big Show watches with her.
Jim Ross: Big Show sure showed them!
JBL: Bobby and Sunny have a point, JR, this country is being ruined by illegal immigrants coming in here and stealing jobs from qualified American workers!
Jim Ross: Nikita is here legally! And she’s the WWF Women’s Champion. She’s proven she belongs here.
Cole: Vintage political angle! Some kind of modified us versus them dynamic!
Match #4 – The Menagerie (Mike Knox & Matt ‘The Freak’ Morgan) v Triple H & Batista
The fans aren’t yet sure what to make of the circus that is The Menagerie, although having Crazzzy Lance and Maria at ringside does give the match a festive feel. Maria is still blowing bubbles, while Crazzzy Lance lethargically tries to get the crowd to clap.
Triple H and Batista are all business, and their past experience tagging together shows as they’re able to isolate Mike Knox and keep him away from the more athletic ‘Freak’. Triple H has him bailed up in the corner and is delivering some Ric Flair inspired chops and Batista tags in, adding a few shoulder thrusts to the beating.
Not content with this, he goes up to the second turnbuckle to deliver the ten punch, but Knox has him by the hips. POWERBOMB!
Knox has powerbombed the
Guardians of the Galaxy star and both men are down. They crawl towards their respective corners, and Knox tags in The Freak for his debut in ring action. He ducks Triple H’s clothesline attempt and explodes back in with the Carbon Footprint.
Cover!
1
2
Batista manages to make the save, and now the two of them whip Morgan. He goes for a double clothesline, but they duck it. Triple H hits a spine-buster with authority and Batista begins to shake the ropes.
The referee, still trying to keep Knox from entering the ring, doesn’t see as Crazzzy Lance clambers up onto the apron with a rubber chicken. He swings it at Batista, who easily blocks it – only to eat a faceful of silly string!
He staggers back as if he’d had acid flung in his face! Triple H is still the legal man, however, and he has Morgan set up for the Pedigree. Maria’s in the ring now, and she pops open her coat to flash Triple H her bra!
Matt Morgan back body drops Triple H to the mat and tags in Mike Knox, who is all too eager to rush in and finish this. He runs right into a small package from Triple H, however, and that gets the 1-2-3.
Triple H and Batista have managed to triumph despite the interference of Knox and Morgan’s allies!
WINNERS: Triple H and Batista (small package on Mike Knox) in 10:15
JBL: Thank God the two wrestlers won and not that circus act! There’s no need for those childish pranks in the WWF.
Jim Ross: They wouldn’t have needed the shenanigans if Batista and Triple H hadn’t have broken the rules. It’s a tag team match – both men should never have been in there at the same time!
McMahon: Have you ever watched this stuff, Jim? The rules are a rough guideline, at best.
JBL: Straight from the horse’s mouth!
[FONT="]It’s time for a video package.
We see an idyllic park where a boy plays on the swing, a smiling girl licks an ice cream, another kid plays in the sand, and a woman watches on while breast-feeding.
Entering the frame is new WWF star, Bully Ray.
He smacks the ice cream out of the girl’s hand, kicks sand in the kid’s face, and palms the other kid off the swing.
Sitting down, he eyes the shocked mother.
Bully Ray: Nice tits.[/FONT]
[FONT="]It pays to be a bully.[/FONT][FONT="][/FONT]
JBL: I like the look of this guy!
Jim Ross: You would, JBL. He’s nothing but a bully.
JBL: Of course he is! It’s his name, for God’s sakes! Pull your head out of your ass, JR.
We're close to our main event, and we find Kurt Angle in the changing rooms getting ready for his match. His partner, the popular Diamond Dallas Page comes in and they high five.
DDP: Kurt, I gotta say, what you did last night was impressive.
Kurt: Thanks, Page, that means a lot.
DDP: You gotta promise me one thing, though.
Kurt: What's that?
DDP: When you beat Kazarian or Flair, you give me a shot at that bad boy.
The crowd likes the sound of that.
Kurt: Sure thing, DDP. You got it. But we've got a big match tonight and we've got to focus. There's a long way to Wrestlemania, and I'm going to start tonight by shutting Kaz's mouth.
DDP: Sounds good, brother.
-----
Match #5 – Kurt Angle & Diamond Dallas Page v Kazarian & Razor Ramon
We start out tonight’s main event with Kurt Angle squaring off against Razor Ramon, who seems content to play keep away with the Olympian and Royal Rumble winner. He dances around the ring like a prize fighter, and twice rolls out to the floor rather than lock up with Angle.
The third time he tries this, DDP is on hand to cut him off. He points and his message is clear: Get in the ring or deal with me.
Razor enters the ring and reluctantly ties up with Angle, kneeing him in the gut and then clubbing him over the back with disdain. He whips Angle to the ropes, but Kurt returns with a flying elbow to bring the bigger man down. Ramon stumbles back up and straight into a clothesline and a second and a third. He’s reeling.
Angle tags in DDP, who is only too eager to get his hands on the man who cost him the World Heavyweight Title at the Royal Rumble. He has Ramon in the corner and hits a series of chops across the chest before standing atop Ramon and making a diamond in the sky.
His show-boating proves costly, however, and Razor shoves him off and then comes off the second rope with a diving elbow. The tag is made to Kazarian, and the World Heavyweight Champion quickly rakes DDP’s eyes and whips him to the corner. He follows up with a dropkick to the chest and, as DDP staggers back out of the corner in a daze, catches him with a hurricanrana pin attempt that gets two.
Kazarian and Razor exchange quick tags for the next few minutes, effectively isolating DDP and putting a beat down on him. Despite the beating he takes, DDP shows plenty of resilience, and even manages to escape a Razor’s Edge attempt and counter it with a swinging neckbreaker to buy himself some breathing room.
He crawls towards his corner, but Ramon tags Kazarian in quickly, and Kaz races across the ring and baseball slides in between DDP and his corner – slapping the taste out of Page’s mouth and then setting him up for a vertical suplex. DDP smartly floats over, however, and this puts him within reach of a blind tag by Kurt Angle.
Kazarian’s missed this exchange, and he whips DDP back into the corner where Razor catches him and holds him ready for a charge.
Angle sneaks up behind Kazarian and breaks him in half with a fisherman’s suplex!
1
2
NO! Kazarian’s kicked out!
Angle tries to drag Kazarian to his feet but gets rolled up in a small package. He’s out at two. Kazarian stamps on him a few times and heads to the top rope. Angle’s too his feet and rushes up to the second rope with surprising speed, catching Kazarian and flinging him across the ring in an suplex! Kazarian crashes and burns!
Back in the corner, DDP has elbowed Ramon in the face and follows this up with a short arm clothesline to send Razor to the floor. He goes out after him, looking to get a measure of revenge for last night.
Angle’s got the straps down and he’s signaling for the ankle lock. He grabs Kazarian’s ankle, but Kazarian rolls through it and this sends Angle into the turnbuckles.
Schoolboy!
1
2
2.9999!
Angle kicks out. Kazarian charges at him with a clumsy clothesline attempt. Ducked. OLYMPIC SLAM!
1
2
No!
Razor Ramon has somehow managed to grab Angle’s leg and drag him out of the ring.
DDP’s behind him. DIAMOND CUTTER!
Angle turns around to enter the ring but eats a baseball slide from Kazarian. DDP starts to lay punches on Kazarian, but now the referee is here to break things up. He pushes DDP back towards his corner as Angle rolls DDP back into the ring.
Whip to the ropes by Angle. Kazarian leap frogs the first run, but gets caught in an overhead belly to belly suplex on the second.
Now it’s Angle heading to the top rope.
JBL: What is he doing up there?
It’s Kazarian’s turn to show remarkable speed, and he’s up to the top rope and now they’re both teetering precariously. They’re exchanging rights and lefts, but it’s Kazarian who gets the upper hand.
FLUX CAPACITOR!
He hits it!
Cover!
1
2
No! DDP dives in to make the save.
DIAMOND CUTTER!
Now Razor is in, and he clotheslines DDP out of the ring.
Angle, more on instinct than anything else, catches Ramon’s ankle as he staggers backwards. He’s got the Ankle Lock locked in, but it’s on the wrong man!
Kazarian is to his feet. He comes off the ropes with a shining wizard! Will that be enough?
1
2
3
WINNERS: Kazarian & Razor Ramon (Shining Wizard on Kurt Angle) in 15:31
Jim Ross: What a main event! Kazarian gets one up on a potential Wrestlemania opponent!
JBL: The right guys won, there. Two Raw guys doing what needed to be done. Those two are heroes.
Jim Ross: An explosive edition of Raw tonight. What will be the fallout next week?
