We start the show with our WWE Champion, CM PUNK! He doesn't look very happy, as we get a clip from last week where Jericho dropped the bomb on Punk, calling his pops a drunkard. Is it true? I call Shenanigans but let's find out!! CM Punk lets us know right off the bat that Chris Jericho is not here tonight. At the end of the day, him not being here is a gift because Chris Jericho really pissed Punk off. Last week, he said that Punk's father...Punk pauses. He finishes with Jericho said that his father was an alcoholic. He said that his best friends know this, but it's not Chris Jericho's story to tell, it's none of his business. It's not so much that he said it, it's that Jericho said it in front of the entire world. He was exposed. He sees everyone, little kids, grown ups, families, and there's not one person that hasn't been negatively affected by the disease of alcoholism. He's not going to let Jericho's words mess up some kids dreams of being great. Jericho is doing this all to get in Punk's head? All for an advantage at Mania? Jericho wants to play headgames and that Punk is predisposed to drink? Well that just goes to show that Jericho doesn't know Punk at all, and if there's a devil in his DNA, it's now Jericho's problem. If there's a monster inside of him, he's letting it out. He refuses to let his past dictate his future. There's not one person that should let a pass nightmare cloud their future dreams. Jericho forgot to tell us the finish. His father has worked extremely hard and has overcome his addictions, he has beat his demons. He doesn't want you to know the fact, and that fact is that CM Punk's father is Jeff Hardy! he is proud of his father! It is tattooed on his skin for a reason. He's proud of his father and Jericho, you are nothing but an obstacle. He can easily dig a hole and crawl under, but he's letting Jericho know right now that he is going straight through him to prove once and for all that he is the best in the world!
Ah, Jericho is here via satellite! He wants Punk to hear him out. He didn't think it was right to be there tonight, because he wants Punk to really listen to what he's got to say. He says that Punk was right, he was out of line and he's sorry. This is Chris talking right now. This isn't "Jericho," no fancy jacket, no bravado. He should have never brought this up and he's sorry. He apologizes and hopes he accepts. He can promise that he'll never bring up his father on this show again. However....your sister....that's a whole other ball game. He found out all about his sister's substance abuse problem. It's well documented that his sister has a drug addiction. Jericho is sure that Punk is proud of her and loves her, but there's a pattern here. Punk's father is an alcoholic, and his sister is a drug addict...Punk is going to end up just like them. The good news is, this can be overcome. The bad news is, when Jericho beats Punk at Wrestlemaania, that's something that he'll never overcome....ever.
CM Punk drops the F bomb. He calls him a piece of shit and says he's going to beat it out of him.
Before the next match can start, Cody Rhodes comes down, and it looks like he'll be joining the booth, but not before a nice little video package of The Big Show's embarrassing moments. This doesn't just cover Mania, as we get a nice little package showing the many moments in Show's career that could be deemed embarrassing.
Match 1: Kane vs. The Big Show
Lock up to start and Show powers Kane to the corner. He hits some rights to the guty and whips him in the corner. Goes for a splash, but Kane puts the boot up. On the outside, Cody is shadowboxing, with gloves on. haha Back in the ring, Show ihts a spear then goes up top. Cody gets on the ropes to distract and Show pushes him away. Here's Kane to hit a chokeslam from turnbuckle to mat and pins for 1...2....3
Winner: Kane (*)
Well, that was all done to lead up to what followed, so I won't be too bothered by it.Better than a 20 minute match from these two, I suppose.
Cody slides in the ring afterwards and hits the Beautiful Disaster, then goes on the attack. He leaves the ring quickly to grab handcuffs from the side of the announce table. He cuffs Show to the rmiddle rope then grabs the gloves he had earlier. Cody with a kick, he does a littl shuffle then hits some rights and lefts to the head and face of The Big Show. Cody is so heel. Cody dooesn't seem to be holding back on the punches, but all you see is The Big Show, fuming. They bolt cut the cuffs off of Show, and he tries to stand, but is noticeable shooken up, nearly falling each time.
Match 2: David Otunga (w/ Johnny Ace) vs. Santino (w/ Teddy Long)
Otunga and Santino trade some muscular poses. Santino wins with some sprayed on abs. While he's working the leg muscle, Otunga hits him over the head with some rights. A body slam later and Johnny Ace is up, texting nearby the ring. His phone "somehow" slips under the rope into the ring, and Santino stomps it! He turns right into a spinebuster and the pin for the 1...2..3!!
Winner: David Otunga (NR)
Just as suspected, the match was crap, but seeing Johnny Ace do the trombone was funny.
After the match, Teddy and Ace get in the ring and in each other's faces. Teddy slaps Ace then jets the ring and heads up the ramp to dance. I call Shenanigans
A preview of a dude with what looks like Japanese characters all over his bald head is shown, and he is called Lord Tensai. I wonder who that is... (choo choo...)
We are back to the show, and The Rock is nearby the Rocky statue, ready to cut a promo for Cena. He does his Finally thing then drops some good notes on Philly. He then calls Philly the city of ass kickers. The statue he is standing in front of represents the fighting spirit of Philadelphia. At 12 years old, The Rock stood in front of this picture and became inspired. He shows a picture of this very thing. Sure, The Rock looked like a chunky little girl, but the most important thing is that at 12 years old, The Rock was dreaming of becoming the greatest of all time. One year later, the very first Mania took place. He watched the Immortal Hulk Hogan. Wrestlemania 6, years later, he watched The Ultimate Warrior (they are showing video clips of the moments as he talks about it). Years later, The Rock headlined his first Mania as WWE Champion, right here...in Philadelphia. It was against Stone Cold Steve Austin. He stepped in the ring, went toe-to-toe, and you know what happened? The Rock lost. That night, The Rock made two vows. First, he was never again going to fight a man in jean shorts. Second, he was going to continue his dream to be the greatest of all time. He beat Austin, he beat Hogan, there's one guy left. John Cena. Mr. The Champ is Here. Mr. You Can't See Me. Mr. You Want Some, Come Get Some. The Rock is here, The Rock can see him, and the Rock is damned sure gonna get some. The Rock is going to take the drive to the arena, right into the Wells Fargo center, the roof is going to blow off, he's going to send a message loud and clear. And if Cena don't get that message, Rock is going to drive to Pats, get the biggest cheesesteak ever, with extra onions and cheese. He's going to roll it all up into a ball, turn it sideways and stick it straight up Cena's Candy Ass! The Rock drops some Macho Man then says he's going to eat lightening, crap thunder, and at Mania 28, he's going to beat John Cena 1..2...3! The dream of that 12 year old boy to become the greatest of all time comes true. "Yo Adrian, I did it!"
Before we go to break, Daniel Bryan and the ridiculously good looking AJ is with him. Bryan;'s gotta stop kissing AJ on-screen.
Match 3: Daniel Bryan vs. Zack Ryder
Lock up is cut short when Bryan locks in a hammer lock, then Ryder, then they hit the rope and Ryder hits a shoulder block. Bryan with a high knee into a kick then he drops the knee to the neck of Ryder, which calls for a pin 1..2..NO! Bryan chokes up Ryder on the ropes then slingshots him, again attacking th neck. Bryan goes for a pin 1..2..NO! Bryan with a headlock but Ryder hits some knees then an elbow. He sends Bryan to the corner then kicks him down. The Bro Kick hits and he's looking for the Ruff Ryder, but Bryan from out of nowhere grabs the arm and locks in the LaBell Lock! Nicely done, Bryan.
Winner: Daniel Bryan (**)
Very short, but very action packed. They gave Ryder some offense, which was surprising, but the win was never in doubt.
They bring up the car accident from earlier this morning and say that he's still going to have the Henry vs Cena match.
Jerry Lawler calls Flo Rida "The Biggest Star in the World of Hip Hop!" King....shut up.
Match 4: John Cena vs. Mark Henry
Lock up to start. Henry powers Cena away with ease. Cena with a go behind into a side headlock but again, Henry shoves Cean away, this time to the outside of the ring. Cena goes for a shoulderblock but Henry overpowers him and Cena goes down. Henry with a right hand to the head of Cena then a headbutt in the corner. Henry with a hard right, then a kick. Henry tosses Cean to the outside like nothing then follows. He stops Cena from getting in the ring then hits a hard forearm to the shoulder and head of Cena. Henry with a kick to the chest. Henry rolls in but Henry pulls him out and tosses him into the barricade, saying "You Ain't Goin Nowhere" as we got to break...
Back, and Cena is powering out of a submission move. He tries for a right then hits the ropes, but runs right into a clothesline! Henry hits a splash. 1...2....NO!!! Henry doesn't look too happy about that. Cean is in the corner now, wavering. Henry pushes at Cena's chin then hits a hard right. Henry sends Cena to the opposite corner and hits a big splash. Cena falls and Henry is grinning. Henry looks to be setting up another spear, but Cnea moves then hits a back suplex. He is about to go for the five knuckle shuffle, but shows some wavering. He hits it. He's wobbly. He goes for the AA but he can't do it. Henry tosses Cena to the ropes. Cena flies and Henry catches him. Cena slides out, though! Henry hits the ropes and Cena with the Firemans Carry. He lifts up Henry. Attitude Adjustment and a pin for 1...2...3!!
Winner: John Cena (**)
It's always impressive to see Cena do that, regardless of how little I like the character. The match was everything you thought it would be.
The Rock's music hits and he runs down the ramp, into the ring, then Rock Bottom's Mark Henry! Haha, that's messed up. The Rock leaves.
Cole briefly covers the Twitter feud between Maria Menounos and Beth Pheonix, thn we get the Extra moment of the Beth ambush. This, setting up the match between Eve, Beth and Kelly, Maria. Look forward to some Shenanigans come Mania!!
Back live at RAW, The Miz is in the ring. in 1987, he says, King Kong Bundy was in the main event of Wrestlemania II. Then he had a match with two little people and Hillbilly Jim at Mania III. This is known as the worst fall form grace in history of the WWE...until now. He will not be the guy who has no match this year. He issued an open challenge to prove to Johnny Ace that he deserves his spot on Team Johnny. He is The Miz, y'all. And he's.....going against Sheamus.
Match 5: The Miz vs. Sheamus
Lockup! Miz with the go behind. Sheamus is able to turn some of Miz's rights around on him. Miz hits the ropes, Sheamus bends over and Miz kicks. Sheamus is able to fire back with an axehandle, though. Miz is quick to counter with a right and goes for a DDT. Sheamus reverses, though, and powers Miz up top into a Finlay Roll and a pin for 1...2..NO! They show Ace and Otunga in the back, and Ace sells the slap well. Back in the ring, Miz hits a neckbreaker and a pin for 1. Miz with a knee to the back then he chokes up Sheamus on the ropes. Miz with a kick, another, and another, using the ropes for leverage. He hits the ropes then a hard kick to Sheamus and a pin for 1. Miz with a cravat from behind. Sheamus fights out and sends Miz to the corner then hits some hard forearms and some kicks! Sheamus with a hard body slam into a pin for 1...2..NO! Miz hits the ropes, ducks a Brogue Kick. Hits the ropes again and BAM! Kick to the dome, son! Pin for 1...2...3!!
Winner: Sheamus (**1/2)
That was a lot of action in one match and it makes me wonder what they're doing with ol Mizzard.
K-Mart commercial! Hi Buggy!
Josh Mathews is at the corner of the stage area, and he introduces Randy Orton. Last week, it became official and Mathews wants to know Orton's plan on beating Kane. Orton wants to know how the monster plans on beating him.We're talking about Mania only because he beat the monster last summer. So badly, in fact, that he shook Orton's hand and "became human." This is now, though, and when he looks into Kane's eyes, there are no signs of humanity. He could care less about Kane's recent identity crisis. He knows who he is and what he's capable of. He's not the Big Red Machine or the Devil's favorite demon. His name...is Randy Orton. New shirt coming out?
Vickie Guerrero is here and would like to be excused. She introduces the two newest members of Team Johnny at Mania, Jack Swagger and Dolph Ziggler. They will be facing off against two members of Team Teddy.
Match 6: Jack Swagger and Dolph Ziggler vs. Kofi Kingston and R-Truth
When we come back, Aksana and Vickie are being held back by their respectivve teams. Kofi and Swagger to start. Kofi with a back elbow then he is sent to the coner, Swagger runs ring into a Kofi boot then Kofi knocks Ziggler off the apron. He kicks Swagger then hits a high cross body and a pin for 1....2..Swagger with the kickout. Swagger hits Kofi in the face and Dolph clotheslines hims down. Swagger with the Swagger bomb and a pin for 1...2..NO! Swagger with some rights in the corner then distracts the ref for Ziggler to choke him up. Swagger stands on the chest of Kofi for a four count then tags in Ziggler. Ziggler with a neckbreaker, no! Kofi turns it into a backslide for 1...2..NO! Ziggler with a dropkick and a pin for 1...2..NO! Ziggler tags in Swagger. Swagger with some elbows to the gut of Kofi, then he does some pushup atop of Kofi. hahaa. Nice. Swagger ith a double chickenwing. Kofi tries to fight out, he does! He is atop Swagger's shoulders to try and tag Truth, but Swagger holds on tight, only for Dolph to hit a DDT.
Tag to Truth! Tag to Ziggler! Truth comes out the gate with some clotheslines then a hard right! Whip to the rope and Truth hits a spinning...something or other. Kick to the gut and a front suplex! Pin for 1...2..! Swagger is in the ring and goes to break it up, but Truth moves and Swagger hits an axe handle on Ziggler. Kofi flies off the apron onto Swagger. Truth turns ot Ziggler and looks to drop a leg, but Ziggler moves and hits a Fameasser! He pins, Truth puts the leg on the rope, then Vickie moves it off as the ref counts the 1...2...3!!!
Winners: Jack Swagger and Dolph Ziggler (**1/2)
Is Swagger showing some character? Fun little match here that proved one thing...the tag team titles are once again an afterthought and most likely won't be making an appearance come Mania...
Aksana takes offense and goes up to Vickie. She pushes Vickie down! Aksana gets in the ring to try and explain to the ref what happened. Vickie follows and screams. They lock up and start rolling around in the ring until the guys break it all up.
We get a video of Triple H at MSG in a match, who has Dolph in the ring setting up for the Pedigree. He stalls for like an entire minute then does the throat slice and turns the Pedigree into the Tombstone and pins Dolph, Undertaker style.
We return to the melodic music of one HBK. He's just a sexy boy, ya know?
The Hell in a Cell match at Mania between Taker and HHH is coming up and what is everyone talking about? HBK. That shouldn't come as a surprise, says Michaels, because he did make a career out of stealing the show, and he did so at Mania year after year. He's gotta admit, though, that it's pretty cool knowing he holds the end of an era in the palm of his hand. His prediction, though...he will not tell. He will give an opinion though. First, can he be an impartial referee? Before he answers that, he wants to tell Taker that the "End of an Era" is just code for "End of the streak." Two years ago, he was there, he was in the same boat. There he stands....
DONG!
Here comes The Undertaker!
HBK is about to say something, but Taker says it would be in his best interest to shut up and listen. Taker says this match must remain pure. So before he and HHH start making plans to....
GUITAR RIFF!
HHH is here next, and he's not wearing a suit!!!! #nosuitsoyouknowitsreal. He spits his water and grabs a mic. He tells Taker to stop worrying about HBK because as much as Shawn's ego wants this to be about him, it's not. HHH says it's about Taker and HHH. It's always been about them. It's their destiny to do this. Two parallell careers connected by one thing; Hell in a Cell. There have been 24 HIAC matches, just 24. Triple H and Taker have been in 19 of them. It's not a coincidence that the match that started out as the Devil's Playground became Triple H's proving ground. It's where he learned how to push the limits of human endurance and where he learned what it takes to end another man's career. It's where he thrives and where he excels. All of those matches have been for one moment; Wrestlemania. The whole world is going to see the end of an era...yours! He knows exactly what it's going to take to----
Do you? Taker cuts him off. Are you sure? Your mind, your body, your soul...your career. Your wife and kids, all of this, even your life, are you willing to put it all on the line?
Triple H: If it means giving you the end that you so richly deserve, then I am. And I will.
Taker backs up slowly, then goes to leave the ring. He stops, thinks better of it, and turns back to the ponytailed DX. Taker asks Triple H if he remembers when he told him that Shawn was better than him? He is!
End Show
