Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker

[Generalzod]

There really is no excuse for the shithouse stories in these new star wars movies.

There are so many good stories in the comics and Splinter of the Minds Eye I must have read 10 times when I was a kid.

Would love to see this made into a movie..I have it here somewhere about zombie stormtroopers. Star wars horror--
Death Troopers - the movie.

https://starwars.fandom.com/wiki/Death_Troopers

Jar Jar Abrams did an ok job withe the Force awakens it was to pay homage to its original trilogy enter Ruin Johnson how he was given the gig to direct a Star Wars film is beyond me , now Abrams has come back and his making this shit as he goes along like he did with LOST..

 

[Timbo]

Meh Hollywood social justice was the least of the last installment’s problems. Try rubbish scriptwriting and shit characterisation.

It just made so little f**king sense.

I can suspend my disbelief during sci-fi/fantasy films, but for f**ks sake, following the logical rules of your own universe is a pretty low bar to aim for.

 

[AlwaysGreen]

TLJ lost me in the first five minutes with that Hux prank call shit. Then it got even worse.

 

[bileduct]

TLJ lost me in the first five minutes with that Hux prank call shit. Then it got even worse.

Yeah I was exactly the same. The whole thing had the wrong tone right from the start.

The First Order dudes were cartoonish villains that couldn't be taken seriously.

 

[bileduct]

Well if you can go by the heading The rise of Skywalker you can come to the conclusion that Luke will return or Mary Sue is Luke’s Skywalker’s daughter take your pick

I think she's more likely to be Leia's daughter, and Ren will be her brother.

 

[Generalzod]

I think she's more likely to be Leia's daughter, and Ren will be her brother.

like a soap opera Sons and daughters snakes and ladders

 

[jargan83]

TLJ lost me in the first five minutes with that Hux prank call shit. Then it got even worse.

Hux went from a slightly menacing bad guy in TFA to comedy relief in TLJ.

 

[Timbo]

But then it was like, the whole republic/resistance/rebels/who cares is now just fifty people in a few dilapidated old cruisers? Because Starkiller Base got one shot off?

I put it like this - if ISIS manages to smuggle a nuclear weapon into Washington DC, it doesn't destroy the entire United States. It still has it's naval fleets at Pearl Harbor, Hampton Roads, Guam and Okinawa? It still has its Air Force at dozens of bases worldwide? It still has the army and marines and VAST MAJORITY of its population?

There are allegedly thousands of worlds in the New Republic but they all just go 'whelp, we're f**ked' because the First Order gets off one sneak attack even though their Superweapon is immediately destroyed as well.

I just can't f**ken even.

 

[bileduct]

Don't forget how the First Order then had a bazillion ships but none were capable of jumping in ahead of the rebel fleet to block their escape, instead giving us an OJ Simpson style space chase.

Or how the fleet destroyer turns up and lets the fleet get away because it's too busy firing at stuff that can't actually go anywhere.

 

[Timbo]

Don't forget how the First Order then had a bazillion ships but none were capable of jumping in ahead of the rebel fleet to block their escape, instead giving us an OJ Simpson style space chase.

Or how the fleet destroyer turns up and lets the fleet get away because it's too busy firing at stuff that can't actually go anywhere.

Or how there is now gravity in space for bombs to drop and laser beams to go in parabolic arcs.

Or how there is now resistance in space because ships that run out of petrol just stop.

Or how there's forty minutes spare in our space-chase movie for a heavy handed lecture on the military industrial complex.

Or how since we've cast Laura Dern we'll kill Ackbar off-screen so she can be front and centre.

Or how Holdo will keep her plan secret from Poe for no reason despite the fact he's now one of the few senior officers left in the resistance military.

 

[Generalzod]

Don't forget how the First Order then had a bazillion ships but none were capable of jumping in ahead of the rebel fleet to block their escape, instead giving us an OJ Simpson style space chase.

Or how the fleet destroyer turns up and lets the fleet get away because it's too busy firing at stuff that can't actually go anywhere.

OJ chase made for riveting television TLJ was shit

 

[jargan83]

Or how since we've cast Laura Dern we'll kill Ackbar off-screen so she can be front and centre.

Or how Holdo will keep her plan secret from Poe for no reason despite the fact he's now one of the few senior officers left in the resistance military.

Vice Admiral Holdo has to be one of the worst characters I've seen in anything ever.

They could have had Admiral Ackbar do the suicide run and it probably would have meant something instead of this random with purple hair turning up with no plan.

 

[Generalzod]

Vice Admiral Holdo has to be one of the worst characters I've seen in anything ever.

They could have had Admiral Ackbar do the suicide run and it probably would have meant something instead of this random with purple hair turning up with no plan.

Yep why not tell Poe what the f**k was going on, personally it was a deliberate part of the film to make men look bad always thinking with their balls while woman use logic....

 

[Silent Knight]

Yep why not tell Poe what the f**k was going on, personally it was a deliberate part of the film to make men look bad always thinking with their balls while woman use logic....

Poe is the patriarchy.

Also, I'm loving the comments in this thread

 

[Mr Spock!]

Not to mention stealing the 'we' ve run out of gas' line from Space Balls.

 

[Mr Spock!]

Maybe that slave kid who just happened to have Jedi powers at the end is skywalker.

 

[Mr Spock!]

Top marks for the 'it's salt' comment for those of us who knew it was a ripoff of Hoth. You could just imagine a soldier being posted there and realising only right at the last minute it was a salt planet.

Thanks for not treating us as idiots.

And don't get me started on the vomit inducing Chinese lady saves black guy smulch.

 

[nöyd]

The neckbeard is strong in this one


hahaha

 

[bileduct]

The neckbeard is strong in this one


hahaha

That's nothing. Check out this f**king clown.

1:50

 

[nöyd]

That's nothing. Check out this f**king clown.

1:50

Holy f**king shit

I mean, I did say that I teared up hearing Palpatine’s cackle, but I’ll be f**ked if im going to film myself slobbering and sooking like a little kid. Holy f**king shit.

The comments on the video are all lol btw


“This dude looks like he was watching his family being killed in front of him”