General off season footy/sport/current affairs chatter

[Gronk]

For a rich dude, Clive Palmer doesn't act real smart.

 

[Suitman]

For a rich dude, Clive Palmer doesn't act real smart.

What's he done now?
Or are you talking about last weeks obscure ramblings?

Suity

 

[Gronk]

Lost his soccer franchise for being a knob.

 

[Suitman]

Lost his soccer franchise for being a knob.

I suppose having 20 fans turn up to home games in a national competition didn't help.
Bring on the Rovers, playing out of Parramatta Stadium.

Homer

 

[parra pete]

Walked past Willie T & Willie Mason today at Rhodes shopping centre. I didn't realise how big Mason was until I was up close.

Does that make Willie Mason 'The Colossus of Rhodes' ????

 

[parra pete]

One day a biker dies and finds himself in hell. As he is wallowing in despair, he has his first meeting with the Devil…

Satan: “Why so glum?”

Biker : “What do you think? I’m in hell!”

Satan: “Hell’s not so bad. We actually have a lot of fun down here. You a drinking man?”

Biker : “Sure, I love to drink.”

Satan: “Well, you’re gonna love Mondays then. On Mondays, that’s all we do is drink. Whiskey, tequila, Guinness, wine coolers, Tab, and
Fresca. We drink ’til we throw up and then we drink some more! And you don’t have to worry about getting a hangover, because you’re dead anyway.”

Biker : “Gee that sounds great!”

Satan: “You a smoker?”

Biker : “You better believe it”

Satan: “All right! You’re gonna love Tuesdays We get the finest cigars from all over the world, and smoke our lungs out. If you get cancer – no biggie, you’re already dead, remember?”

Biker : “Wow…that’s awesome!”

Satan: “I bet you like to gamble.”

Biker : “Why, yes, as a matter of fact I do.”

Satan: “Good, ’cause Wednesdays you can gamble all you want.? Craps, blackjack, roulette, poker, slots, whatever. If you go bankrupt, it doesn’t matter, you’re dead anyhow.”

Biker : “Cool!”

Satan: “What about Drugs?”

Biker : ” Are you kidding? Love drugs! You don’t mean…?”

Satan: “That’s right! Thursday is drug day. Help yourself to a great big bowl of crack or smack. Smoke a doobie the size of a submarine. You can do all the drugs you want. You’re dead so who cares.”

Biker : “Wow! I never realized Hell was such a cool place!”

Satan: “You a HOMO?”

Biker : “No…”

Satan: “Ooooh, Fridays are gonna be tough….”

:lol:

 

[Suitman]

Does that make Willie Mason 'The Colossus of Rhodes' ????

No. It probably just makes him a customer of IKEA.

Suity

 

[mickdo]

Clive Palmer is a fat, dopey merkin. The FFA is far better off without him.

 

[Gordy]

Clive Palmer is a fat, dopey merkin. The FFA is far better off without him.

They should make him do laps, that would be funny. And I don't mean lap bands either...

 

[parra pete]

Palmer - Bigger than the game!!!

 

[mickdo]

Bigger than the planet, the fat bastard

 

[Casper The Ghost]

Three Irishmen are sitting in the pub window seat,
watching the front door of the brothel over the road.

The local Methodist pastor appears, and quickly goes inside.

"Would you look at that!" says the first Irishman.

"Didn't I always say what a bunch of hypocrites they are?"

No sooner are the words out of his mouth than a Rabbi appears at the door,
Knocks, and goes inside.

"Another one trying to fool everyone with pious preaching and stupid hats!"

They continue drinking their beer roundly condemning the vicar and the rabbi.

When they see their own Catholic priest knock on the door.

"Ah, now dat's sad." says the third Irishman.


"One of the girls must have died.”
​

 

[Casper The Ghost]

Is Sex Work? . . .

A Canadian Army N.C.O. was about to start the morning briefing to all of his staff.

While waiting for the coffee machine to finish its brewing, the N.C.O. decided to pose a question to all assembled. He explained that his wife had been a bit frisky the night before, and therefore he failed to get his usual amount of sound sleep.He posed the question; "How much of the act of sex is "work," and how much is "pure pleasure"?

A Captain chimed in with a 75-25% in favour of 'work'.

A Lieutenant said it was probably about 50-50%.A Warrant-Officer responded with a 25-75% in favour of 'pleasure', depending upon his state of inebriation at the time.

There being no consensus, the N.C.O. turned to the Newfie Private who was in charge of making the coffee.

What was HIS opinion?

Without any hesitation, the young Newfie responded, "Sir, it has to be 100% pleasure, Sir."

The N.C.O.. a little surprised and as you might guess, said "And why is that soldier" ?"

Well, Sir, if there was any work involved, the officers would have me doing it for them, Sir".

The room fell silent.

God Bless Newfies
​

 

[Twizzle]

its not the off season any more

 

[Maroubra Eel]

That's why we all stopped posting.

 

[Casper The Ghost]

its not the off season any more

That's why we all stopped posting.

On this forum the off season just started.

 

[jono]

A bum knocks on the door of a house and a woman answers , the bum says "can you spare some food for a man down on his luck?" The woman says "Sure , do you mind yesterday's soup ? " The bum says "OK" so the womam says "Well come back tomorrow"

 

[Gronk]

Bob Carr is a great appointment to FM. Indeed, he'd make an ever better PM. ;-)

Fisheel would be creaming his pants right now.

Cue the MadMonk to try and dilute this appointment with his faceless men rhetoric. Trouble is I doubt that anybody in Australia could fault it (apart from Tony of course).

 

[bartman]

Wow, I thought that duck was dead in the water... good appointment, as Senator and Foreign Minister.

And makes JG look like a strong leader in the face of reported opposition to this move.

 

[mickdo]

JG certainly made the media look like complete twits this week