12th Man Thread

[Raider_69]

This was done a while back and i can be bothered finding it again, it was over in the FFB, so im bring it back in the cricket forum

Your favourite quotes from the 12 Man collection:

one of mine is the classic commentry with Chapelli and Max

Ian:Well this is an unsual situation, Lawson and Hughs have only had a few over and the balls gone to sleep already
Max: Yes ian well when you sitting round the com box for any great langth of time, its not unusual for the old balls to go to sleep every now and then, get a bit numb from lack of circulation
Ian: Max, i didnt mean...
Max: i think the best thing to do is slip the hand down the strides and give them a bit of a rub
Ian: Max im talking about Peter Sleep, he's coming in to bowl
Max: Yes he's been bowling very well lattly peter sleep

 

[nöyd]

:lol: :lol: :lol: gold

Kids: G'day Richie!!

Richie: G'day fellas!

Smart arse kid: Hey Richie, how about an autograph?

Richie: Sure! Why not...

Smart arse kid: Who do I make it out to? Just to "Dear Richie?..."

Richie: Aahhh piss off ya little bastards!! Go on piss off!!

 

[Hoggy]

Bill - "Canary yellow? That's Australian gold my friend and don't you f**king forget it. Canary yellow indeed."

 

[Bazal]

There are heaps, but here are a couple that stick out for me....

The Nawab-Hello Big-nose! Your wictories ower us in Australia, and then again a year later, in India, cost me my keptaincy, my place in the team, and ewentually, my dreams. So f@#k you, f@#k your teewee show, and i hope you have a sh#$ty night!

Hansie-Well, uh, this metch is pritty much a foregone conclusion, and uh, thet's just how I like them

Tony-Blow it out your a@#e Bill Lawry

Bill-Shane Warne, the hero, I love him I wanna boof him get him up here!!

Richie-When some big kiwi pr@#k gets a four from a snick, that's Parore....

Tony-Yes, thankyou Richie. Well, this pitch looks to be an absolute motherf@#ker..

Darryl Eastlake-Ohhohoh!! Let's get the old ears bleeding!!
Bill-Nah, let's f@#king not!

I'll prolly think of more later, I know all of them almost by heart

 

[Raider_69]

Tony: I'd just thought id let you know ritchie, i dont hold grudges to me a grudge is joust a place to poark your coar!

 

[stevo]

haha i love the way packer answers his phone Speak.

i also love it when richies is reading thtu the kiwi line up and keeps pissing himself laughing

David boon the 5ft2 tasmanian with the flared pants

pearse off daryll, gibbs on
what was that
pearse off gibbs on
don't tell me to piss off (well it's something like that)

what's everyones fav cd. mines the final Dig, with the wired world of sports 1 a close 2nd

 

[Raider_69]

Final Dig and Still the 12th man are both good

 

[DJ Raida]

:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

 

[Raider_69]

Ritchie: Max, you cant be in here!
Max: Well ritchie i have this big muther f**ker of a cricket bat that says i can
Ritchie: ahh
**smack**
Ritchie: Have a seat max.

:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

 

[Dr Crane]

David boon the 5ft2 tasmanian with the flared pants

:lol: :lol: Short backward square!



The creks in thes petch are four feet deep.

 

[Hoggy]

Richie - "That's my pen, that's my f**king fountain pen."

 

[Azkatro]

Mike Munroe: Tony Greig is out in the centre ready to do his pitch report, and it's there that we're going to join him now. So, let's go.
Richie: No, f***en let's not!

Richie: A fresh start with what Max?
<pause>
Richie: Fresh start with what Max? Max?
Max: Oh, oh are you talking to me? My name's Mike!
Richie: Oh, for f***'s sake ...

Bill: (imitating Richie) Well I'm glad you fellas are happy because I'M NOT! *thump*
He just went f***en psycho!
<silence>
Bill: And... he's standing right behind me, isn't he.

Richie: Jeez what have they done to you?
Bill: It's the Brad Pitt nose.
Richie: The Brad Pitt nose? Well f*** it doesn't look anything like Brad Pitt's nose!
Daryl: Hoh hoh geez! It looks like him in Fight Club Rich did you see it? Hoh hoh sensational movie. Blokes bashing the crap out of each other and OHH HOH HOH! OHHHHH I tell you what Brad Pitt's nose was all over his face in that one! It was huuge!
Richie: Daryl any chance of shutting the f*** up?
Daryl: Yeah okay Rich ha ha ha.

Final Dig is rather good ...

 

[choc_soldier]

Richie Benaud: The toss of the coin, always vital in these one days matches... here's Ian Chappell down in the centre, with the two captains...
Ian Chappell: So righto AB, you want 100 bucks on a head?
Allan Border: Yeah.
Ian Chappell: What about you, Javed?
Javed Miandad: I'll have 100 on the tail too.
Director: Psst Ian, you're on!
Ian Chappell: Oh yes, thanks Rich, OK Javed, if you'd like to do the honours, oh AB, you can call.
Allan Border: Heads.
Ian Chappell: And yes, it's a f***ing head.
Javed Miandad: Ooh, you lucky pr*ck.
Ian Chappell: Righto mate, what you going to do?
Allan Border: Oh, we'll run this way I think Ian.
Ian Chappell: Oh all right, well, Allan Border has elected to run with the wind towards the Paddington end, so that means, Pakistan will have the kick off. Good luck fellas.
Allan Border and Javed Miandad: Thanks very much.
Ian Chappell: And back to you Rich.
Richie Benaud: Thank you Ian, Ian Chappell there with the two captains. Well, the players and the umpires will be making their way out to the centre shortly, and we'll come back here to the SCG, in just a few moments...
*silcence*
Richie Benaud: Pakistan are going to kick off? F***ing game are we playing here? Everyone gone completely mad - it's batting for heavens sake!

 

[Twizzle]

always loved that one PP

 

[Mr Angry]

No wonder they call him tangles

 

[Up the mighty Phins]

What about some of the Paki & Sri Lankan names?

Never Been Behind Bars
Asade Give-a-shide
Aamir So-Hail
Ranatunga Down-a-throata
Gee What a Wacka
I Met Him at a Gay Bar

Just to name a few.

 

[Raider_69]

Few of my famous names:
As if He'd Give a shit
Id say He'd Give a shit
Javegemite for me and dad
Wasie Acrim
Whadda mean Wasie
Saw his arm in half and soon he'll have a scar
Soulsburger... with the lot
------------------------------------
Ritchie: Security, if max walker comes with in 10 feet of this door... shot him
Security: yes mr.Benaud
------------------------------------
Bill: no wonder they call him tangles
Tony: Yes bull, its like a baby arm holding an apple.
------------------------------------
Waiter: i think you do a great job on the tele, alot of people think your over the top but i think your great
Ritchie: yea thanks
Waiter: I think your HUGE
------------------------------------
Ritchie: Is there any shows left for Eddie to do at 9, is he reading the news yet.
David: hehe, no i dont...
Ritchie: Struth, he is bloody everywhere
David: i know...
Ritchie: Probably eddie in the Humphrey B Bear suit, is it?
David: haha, yes it is accually, but you must keep that to youself

latter...

Ritchie: wouldnt be surprised if he had his eye on your job
David: ahah, f**k you havnt herd anything have ya
Ritchie: no i havnt herd anything but he is certainlly a very ambisous man
David: yes... yes your right... so f**k eddie, we'll put him at the bottem

 

[Dr Crane]

Richie, we love you!!

Why thank you. (Quieter) So do i.



I think that is how it goes.

Richie Benaud reports from Bombay
"Typical stinking f**king hot day in in Bombay"

"Rubbish Binni was left out overnight by the selectors, but he wasn't collected, so he took his place in the line up today"

Steven WAUGH..woah woah woah what is he good for?

Names
Abitofa cocksarker
Mycarsa bitrusty
Areal madafarker
Iwonder wheresadarny
Madonna cantsing
Mohammed hasabiggun (out with a swollen foot, but i saw him early and it looked more like 8 or nine inches)

 

[sunny]

A very good ball from the Sri Lankan paceman Somejerk Rammedmekar.......

 

[Red Bear]

Shewantedto Pearcerear & Ahsed Wellnotyourvaginatoo