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12th Man Thread

choc_soldier

Coach
Messages
10,387
Now, in these limited overs matches, the umpires have to decide how many overs are to be bowled, if and when the rain should stop. And that’s not all – they must also decide the new run rate required by the batting side, per the new number of overs to be bowled. And the do this by multiplying the numbers of balls bowled by the number of balls faced, and dividing that by the average age of the batting side, minus the number of spanners in a Sidchrome tool kit. Now, there must be at least 15 overs bowled for there to be a result, and I say if play was to re-commence in the next, ooh, half an hour to 45 minutes or so, well, Sri Lanka would have to be scoring somewhere in the vicinity of 35 or 36 runs per over, or thereabouts. Not an impossible task… but pretty f***ing close to it.
 

Raider_69

Post Whore
Messages
61,174
Mark: the crack cam only new
Hanse: well thats probably right...
Mark: it is right
Hanse: i bet you 100 bucks he gets it again
Mark: Na hanse..
Hanse: Come on, 1000 dollars he gets it again
Mark: na na
Hanse: 1000 dollars, theirs a gorilla, on the table
**Mark continues to comentate**
Hanse: you bloody woose!
 

nöyd

Moderator
Staff member
Messages
9,809
"Ramatunga Downathroata is the opener at the strikers end for Sri Lanka, at the bowlers end is Shewroteuponit Returntosendar bada bada address unknown..."
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Bill: "Well yes they do need the rain Sri Lanka, but they don't deserve it. They deserve to be thrashed here today. They've been totally outclassed by the Australians, and now it looks like Australia might be denied the chance to win the game fairly and squarely because of rain and I think that's pretty f**ked..."
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Bill: "Hits the pad, there's a big appeal YES HE'S GORRRRRN!!! PISS OFF YOU'RE OUT!!! Beautiful yorker there from Simon O'Donnell..."
Tony:"Bull what the f**k are you do...(punch!) ooooohhh..."
Bill: "That was absolutely plumb, O'Donnell a hat-trick..."
Max: "Geez Bill take it easy (punch!) ooohhhh..."
Bill: "...and he's a Victorian and so am I and I'm f**king proud of it. This has been a magnificent spell of bowling from the young all-rounder, inswinger here, outswinger there, here a bouncer, there a yorker, every ball a real corker, Simon O'Donnell's had a ball, ee i ee i oh...f**king rain! f**k you! That's right, run for cover you little bastards!! We're thrashin' the pants of ya, go on, run and hide in the dressing room!! It's not over yet, we're gonna (punch!) ooohhhhhhhh!!!!..."
Richie: "We'll be back here at the MCG in just a few moments...I don't f**king believe this is happening..." :lol: 8)
 

choc_soldier

Coach
Messages
10,387
Tony: So Allan Border, about to face his first ball of his innings from Acrim... and he's smashed that one! That's going to go for miles... it's gone very high indeed, it's coming way down here towards our commentary position... and oh look out!
*smashed glass*
Richie: Ohhhh!
Tony: And he's dropped it. Richie Benaud's gone down like a bag of s***, and what a beautiful shot that was from Border, right off the meat of the bat... that's just what his team needed.
Richie: (all groggy) For f***'s sake, what was that?
Bill: That was a six, beautiful shot Allan Border... beautiful piece of batting.
 

choc_soldier

Coach
Messages
10,387
Tony: Well, this is an unbelieveable atmosphere here, the crowd’s gone completely bananas , and Hughes gets the huge cheer as he heads his way down to Bay 13… they love him down there, Big Merv… oh, and he’s dropped his dacks! And he’s brown eyeing the crowd, well, now I’ve seen everything. Merv Hughes, in the middle of the MCG is chucking the big moon to the people in Bay 13… and they’re mooning him back! Well, this is an absolutely tremendous scene here, four and half thousand big brown eyes, look down lovingly at their hero… and just look at all these cracks starting to open up… well I wish I had the keys with me…
 

choc_soldier

Coach
Messages
10,387
Max: Lovely bowling action Simon O’Donnell… just take a look as he moves in now… good grip on the ball, thumb underneath, forefinger and middle finger together on top. Starts his run up left foot first, closely followed by the right, then the left foot again, then the right, then the left and the right and the left and the right again in pretty quick succession. Good side on action, reaches for the heavens with that front arm, looking over the left shoulder the spot he wants to hit on the pitch
Bill: It’s called bowling Max, you dickhead
Max: And he lets it go… digs that one in short, oh, he takes a huge swipe at that one, a big top edge, in the air, there’s a man out there, Allan Border, getting it, it’s going to go straight down his throat… yes, oh well, this is a tragedy…
TonyWell, what an unbelievable scene here, Allan Border writhing on the ground, the ball wedged in his windpipe, the Australian’s are rushing in to try to help him… he looks in real trouble, they’re rolling him on to his stomach now, thumping him on the back, trying to dislodge the ball, it doesn’t seem to be working… Merv Hughes rushes in now, he quickly throws Border on to his back, and what’s he doing here… oh look out! Merv’s whipped the big tongue down Border’s throat! He’s working away there feverously trying to free the ball… the crowd’s gone wild… and he’s done it! Merv Hughes casually spits the ball straight into the waiting hands of Allan Border, and that’s out… Simon O’Donnell is also on a hat-trick, a beautiful delivery there, the bouncer, to Lickheracne, a thick top edge, and in the end, brilliantly caught in the covers by Merv Hughes and Allan Border…
 

Raider_69

Post Whore
Messages
61,174
eisen said:
Bill: ...and he's a Victorian and so am I and I'm f***ing proud of it. This has been a magnificent spell of bowling from the young all-rounder, inswinger here, outswinger there, here a bouncer, there a yorker, every ball a real corker, Simon O'Donnell's had a ball, ee i ee i oh...f***ing rain! f**k you! That's right, run for cover you little bastards!! We're thrashin' the pants of ya, go on, run and hide in the dressing room!! It's not over yet, we're gonna (punch!) ooohhhhhhhh!!!!...
:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:
i love that line
 

Red Bear

Referee
Messages
20,882
Richie - You'll never guess what i ate the other day. Braized dears penis. David tols me to have it, said it tasted just like chicken - more like an old cock.
 

choc_soldier

Coach
Messages
10,387
TONY: Mahanama being rested, after he copped a couple of nasty balls, right where it hurts most
BILL: Well, let's just say that his wife might have a bit of trouble handling his bouncers for a while Tony... he's swollen up like a couple of balloons.
TONY: I'll have to take your word for that Bill.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

TONY: Yes Bill, just getting back to that Mahanama injury the other day, we've got a bit of film to show you here courtesy of our Wired World of Sports "protector cam"... that's the camera mounted on to the box being worn by the batsman, that just pokes out of the fly, and brings you those spectacular pictures you've seen here on 9 this summer... now just have a look here from Mahanama's protector cam, and exactly what he would have seen with this delivery...
REPLAY: O-o-o-o-h-h ... f-*-*-*-*...
BILL: Well, that was a sickening blow Tony. He would have been wearing his balls as earings there fir a few seconds I'd say.
TONY: Yes, indeed he would. And the man who did all the damage to Mahanama's jatz crackers on that occasion, Mervyn Hughes, moves in again now to bowl to the new Sri Lankan opener, Ramthetounga Downthethroata...
 

sunny

Guest
Messages
4,414
"Aamir Sohail....."

"Hail Richie, hail the great man, hail!"

"That's his name Bill you dickhead!"
 

Raider_69

Post Whore
Messages
61,174
Parra panther is the 12th Man god :lol: :lol:
i keep thinking of classics only to come here and find out PP has beaten me too the punch :lol: :clap: :clap:
 

nöyd

Moderator
Staff member
Messages
9,809
This thread is dripping with gold...comedy gold :lol: :clap: :lol: :clap: :lol: :clap:
 

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