After spending the week on the bench for the red and green last week, Marshall Magic has spent the lead up to week 2 pulling out the splinters. However, this minor set back does not stoop him making a late charge for the bunnies
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A Day in the Life of the NRL Player: How were supposed to see it
In recent years we have seen NRL players come under scrutiny for off field behaviour, many of these incidents have been incredibly minor, and the media has pressured clubs into a knee-jerk reaction to slap the player at fault with a massive fine for something very little. Granted, some of these incidents are of a very serious nature, and this in no way is a stab at such incidents, but even when these stories come up, we get told how it is commonplace in rugby league. So, based on what we are lead to believe, this is a tongue in cheek look at what a day in the life of your average NRL player is like.
10:30am, wake up in a puddle of own vomit, in a teammates back yard, with a huge hangover, he walks inside, crawls over a few other teammates in a similar predicament. The events of the previous night are discussed, but the details are all wrong as nobody knows exactly what happened
10:45am, drive home drunk, to prepare for training. A stop off at Maccas on the way home is done for some breakfast, and also to try and cure that hangover
11:00am, rock up at training still with that hangover, not to worry, its not a huge session, just a bit of fun, nothing that can be classified as work
11:20am, after kicking the ball with mates, and having a few shots at field goal, training is now over, and so all the boys hang out at the park for some beers
12 noon, after demolishing five cases of beer between the team, now nothing is left, so something else needs to be done to pass the time. A group of hot young girls are around, so maybe they can be ogled
1:00pm, after abusing the girls for a while, they arent going to get any, so maybe they should all just go home, irrelevant of how much theyve had to drink
1:30pm, after a quick stop off at the pie shop on the way, the player is now home, and watching some TV, I dont know what, but probably jelly wrestling, or something else degrading to women
2:30pm, after an hour of doing nothing, the player is hungry again, a quick trip to Coles takes place, where three BBQ chickens and a kilo of sausages are purchased
3:30pm, the said items above are cooked and eaten, so the player now watches some more TV, now though it is probably a Bruce Lee movie, where they can learn some cool new fighting moves to test out at the pub
5:25pm, the captain calls, team bonding session at the pub tonight, important that everyone is there. Any no-shows will be spending the week in NSW Cup, the whole team obliges
5:40pm, the player makes a call to a team mate to see if hes got the stuff for tonights team session
6:00pm, the player drives out to the pub, and meets up with the boys outside.
6:30pm, after getting a kebab from the guy in the car park its time for another drinking session
9:00pm, after all seventeen guys in the team have shouted their round, the fun can begin, and the poor little guys sitting at their own table, minding their own business become the targets
9:30pm, after bashing those poor innocent young men for no apparent reason, the next team activity can begin, the subject now is a table with three young girls
10:00pm, after trying hard for 3 hours, the team has convinced the 3 girls to come back to one of the players homes, for a nice evening, the girls are completely oblivious to what will happen next
10:30pm, the player, now at a teammates house, and his team ask the girls for some group sex, the offer is declined. However the teammate bought the stuff for a reason, which is put into use
10:31pm, the games begin, as teammates take turns showing off their hole hitting abilities
11:30pm, after a hectic hour, the girls are thrown out the front door, the players continue to have a few more beers, before collapsing at different places around the house and backyard
Midnight, all players are asleep or passed out, the night is over, and tomorrow the cycle will repeat again
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Word count say 750
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