Ask LU - The relationship advice thread II

[Eelementary]

No.
Here's a tip, stop divulging your whole life on the Internet. We all have our issues, and what your doing is not going to solve anything.

FTR, I know I'm an insensitive prick but the truth is your situation is one I'm quite familiar with, without providing fodder for dickheads on here who already have a go at me for my current profession (which I'm proud of) I used to deal with sexual assault victims in my last career.

Clifford, I'm sorry for your past but opening up about it and talking about your personal life post event might be good on Dr Phil but in real life it doesn't fix anything.

You're a nurse, aren't you, mate? (Or is that someone else I'm thinking of?)

Dunno why anyone would think it's "cool" to make fun of a nurse - they work hard and do an excellent job. When my dad was intensive care and being artificially kept alive, it wasn't' the highly paid doctors that gave a f**k about a grieving family - it was the nurses.

I have much respect for nurses. It must be hard but rewarding work.

 

[Alba]

You're a nurse, aren't you, mate? (Or is that someone else I'm thinking of?)

Dunno why anyone would think it's "cool" to make fun of a nurse - they work hard and do an excellent job. When my dad was intensive care and being artificially kept alive, it wasn't' the highly paid doctors that gave a f**k about a grieving family - it was the nurses.

I have much respect for nurses. It must be hard but rewarding work.

+1

 

[Eelementary]

The doctors were so clinical and cold - both when dealing with the family and when checking up on dad.

To think they get paid so well and have such poor bedside manner...

 

[Eelementary]

The doctors were so clinical and cold - both when dealing with the family and when checking up on dad.

To think they get paid so well and have such poor bedside manner...

People can say, "It's their way to cope or deal with the situation." But why do nurses (who deal with patients and families more regularly AND get paid less) care, then?

Doctors are necessary, but they're annoying. Arrogant.

 

[Cliffhanger]

No.
Here's a tip, stop divulging your whole life on the Internet. We all have our issues, and what your doing is not going to solve anything.

FTR, I know I'm an insensitive prick but the truth is your situation is one I'm quite familiar with, without providing fodder for dickheads on here who already have a go at me for my current profession (which I'm proud of) I used to deal with sexual assault victims in my last career.

Clifford, I'm sorry for your past but opening up about it and talking about your personal life post event might be good on Dr Phil but in real life it doesn't fix anything.

I don't divulge my whole life, I just don't like talking about my feelings generally. It's way easier on here and it just helps me vent. Talking about on here is much easier than talking about it to friends, because I'm not good at showing vulnerability.

 

[sportive cupid]

Someone said earlier that they would like to hear my take on this.

I would say ,Cliffy, that its generally unhelpful to try to work out why someone has reacted in a certain way. it's often more useful to focus more on your own reactions and how you are going to make sense of things and move forward.

Secondly,I fully understand your reluctance to talk to friends about things you are worried about.Thats totally normal .Theres either a fear that you will upset them and so might leave important bits out of the discussion,or you feel embarrassed and awkward afterwards because they know stuff that you would prefer to forget.

but that's where the professional counsellor comes. Someone who isn't going to tell you what to do but help you explore the answers that are right for you.They aren't personally involved so won't give you their side, and you don't have to see them again after.
Internet characters don't make the best counsellors though.

 

[sportive cupid]

Oh and just a first tip.
I'm not sure about the suggestion to ring him and chat.
What would you say to him if you did?

 

[Cliffhanger]

Yeah, I've done enough damage and already scared he thinks I'm attached to him.

 

[sportive cupid]

Well the phone call could come later.But right now it sounds like it might not be.

 

[AlwaysGreen]

I don't know what you do now but if you told girls who had been raped to essentially stfu no wonder you are not a dealing with sexual assault victims anymore

Ffs AG, ffs

I had no idea (although a suspicion) of Clifford's past when she made those comments. She only mentioned it after I made my first comments.
And I was very good at what I did.
I stand by statement: airing your personal life on a forum such as this will not solve any of her angst.

I'm not into sob stories like this one about the friend, it's a sympathy seeking device, she'll get a few 'poor Cliffys' which will appease her need for attention.

I'm harsh but I f**king don't care.

 

[sportive cupid]

Yeah, I've done enough damage and already scared he thinks I'm attached to him.

What scares you about that?

 

[Cliffhanger]

I don't want sympathy, I want to understand what happened. He won't tell me, soI figured some other people who understand men better than me might be able to help visage an understanding into why he suddenly doesn't want to talk to me. Add for the asexual assault thing, maybe I shouldn't mention, but I dormy so long blaming myself and hating myself over it that calling it what it was helps me come to terms with it and accept it wasn't my fault.

I don't have an issue with you being harsh, for whatever reason you get a kick out of it. But I've learned something lately, if someone f**king annoys you, that's your problem not theirs, ripping into them is just lame, not all people can get along,.

 

[Cliffhanger]

What scares you about that?

He's friends with most of my friends, I know it's vain but I'm scared he's going to tell everyone I'm crazy and obsessed when that's not the reality at all. I just want to make sure I didn't make a friend feel uncomfortable.

I know he wasn't in a great place and I'd hate to think I've hurt him.

 

[sportive cupid]

It's not vain .Its just normal to want your friends to think well of you.
As I said earlier its a bit of a hiding to nothing to try and work out what someone else is thinking.Even if the posters on here are guys they aren't all the same you know( just like all us girls aren't the same.

so where does that leave you now?

You mention sexual assault.Cliffy did you know that a good number of people have experienced sexual assault. the thing about it is that it can be so traumatising for anyone to go through that most try to forget about it or minimise the impact it has on them. it makes perfect sense to do this and it works for some.

however it does have a terrible habit of showing up when you least expect or want it.

there are specialist services to deal with and make sense of the trauma you have experienced.
it's not a weakness to seek help but it can be an incredible act of bravery .For some it's just a necessity if they are going to live life at all.

So if you PM me I can give you some contacts for your local area.
You might be surprised how many people have been assisted by such services.

 

[Didgi]

Lol, far rather read Cliffy's rants than AG's poor attempts to be funny/seen as 'hard'. Whinging about people picking on you for being a nurse gets a bit hypocritical when you spend most of your time abusing Cliffy, who's probably gone through more than a bit of name calling.

Isn't Butch a nurse as well? He's an absolute champ. Though being a Cowboys fan might have a lot to do with that.

 

[dogslife]

I'd give Clifford one.

Was that in poor taste?

 

[Apey]

I'd give Clifford one.

Was that in poor taste?

it depends, how long do you think you will last?

 

[dogslife]

3 minutes.

If we did it 9 times...

 

[AlwaysGreen]

Lol, far rather read Cliffy's rants than AG's poor attempts to be funny/seen as 'hard'. Whinging about people picking on you for being a nurse gets a bit hypocritical when you spend most of your time abusing Cliffy, who's probably gone through more than a bit of name calling.

Isn't Butch a nurse as well? He's an absolute champ. Though being a Cowboys fan might have a lot to do with that.

Who the f**k are you again? When did I whinge to anyone Boy Wonder? Clifford is a narcissistic attention seeker who thrives on inexperienced twerps like you giving her relevance. I don't need to show anyone I'm hard or impress anyone, particularly on a forum where no one knows me. I do what I want when I want if some Uni student or whatever doesn't like it they can get f**ked or otherwise.

I pity the girl and wish she got some real advice, I also respect her believe it or not, a lot more than those who
care nothing more about her then her latest selfie and her 'bewbs' :roll:

And I'm sure she doesn't need the likes of you defending her.

 

[sportive cupid]

In fairness to AG ,he didn't know the full story when he made those comments.
None of us really know the full story of anyone on here so it's just as unfair to have a go at him for having a go at someone else.