Ask LU - The relationship advice thread II

[Rebel]

I've had moments like that. But I try to remember, in those times, that I probably do the same. A little bit of humility in those instances is helpful; if they piss you off, and you're about to take their head off with your tongue, remember of all the shitty things you do that she puts up with. Gives you the capacity to endure and prevent an argument, which is often important.

A good thing to remember too is love is a noun; sometimes you aren't feeling it and that's fine. But if you aren't feeling it, but are doing it, its as important to the marriage as any other solidifying experience.

But Im f**king perfect!!

Nah Your a wise man Drew. That's a very good analogy about it being a noun. I guess my issue is that I think of all the shitty things she does and then look at my couple friends and they all seem to be happy. And I'm all... "Maybe it isn't supposed to be like this" But then I guess I don't know what goes on behind closed doors.

 

[Drew-Sta]

But Im f**king perfect!!

Nah Your a wise man Drew. That's a very good analogy about it being a noun. I guess my issue is that I think of all the shitty things she does and then look at my couple friends and they all seem to be happy. And I'm all... "Maybe it isn't supposed to be like this" But then I guess I don't know what goes on behind closed doors.

Agree mate. Same with my friends; it always looks better than what it is though.

Hollywood has a lot to answer for how it has misrepresented 'love' and relationships. In my mind, they've destroyed the idea of relationships being about working together and enduring tough times.

In fact, Hollywood and Jane Austin - that bitch really f**ked things up.

 

[BDR]

I've had moments like that. But I try to remember, in those times, that I probably do the same. A little bit of humility in those instances is helpful; if they piss you off, and you're about to take their head off with your tongue, remember of all the shitty things you do that she puts up with. Gives you the capacity to endure and prevent an argument, which is often important.

A good thing to remember too is love is a noun; sometimes you aren't feeling it and that's fine. But if you aren't feeling it, but are doing it, its as important to the marriage as any other solidifying experience.

Love is a verb, love is a doing word.

[youtube]u7K72X4eo_s[/youtube]

:sarcasm:

 

[Apey]

Well played, well played.

 

[butchmcdick]

Love is a verb, love is a doing word.

[youtube]u7K72X4eo_s[/youtube]

:sarcasm:

I love smoking a bowl and watching this film clip

This and sledgehammer by peter gabrial and any filmclip from tool

 

[sensesmaybenumbed]

Agree mate. Same with my friends; it always looks better than what it is though.

Hollywood has a lot to answer for how it has misrepresented 'love' and relationships. In my mind, they've destroyed the idea of relationships being about working together and enduring tough times.

In fact, Hollywood and Jane Austin - that bitch really f**ked things up.

Absolutely. So many people have no idea about the realities of a long term relationship and f it up accordingly. Celeb worship is ridiculously misreported, giving people completely unrealistic expectations.

Be constructively honest, and don't go to bed angry - talk it out. Although tbh I've only had one long term relationship, they're the lessons I learned from previous ones, very helpful with this one.

 

[Drew-Sta]

Love is a verb, love is a doing word.

:sarcasm:

Yes! Sorry, I meant to say verb, not noun.

My apologies for poor engrish.

 

[sensesmaybenumbed]

Mail order drewsta. Fail English me unpossible.

 

[Drew-Sta]

Mail order drewsta. Fail English me unpossible.

:lol::lol::lol::lol:

 

[Dani]

It's my opinion that if you don't even want to try and fix things, just walk away.

 

[redvforlife]

All our friends think we're an awesome, happy couple and perfect for each other etc.

And while we're awesome and happy, we're both stubborn as hell, firey, passionate and ridiculously bad at just listening to each other with compassion and understanding. Boy do we have blow ups. And it feels too hard sometimes. And none of my friends have any idea how hard it is on the inside.

But it's all worth it for me. At the moment. Because we're not arguing tonight.

 

[adamkungl]

Serious business in here the last 2 days

 

[Eelementary]

I've had moments where I think, "I don't need this shit," and think of walking away.

And then I remember why I love my girlfriend so much and it makes me want to never leave her.

Most relationships will have ups and downs - a "perfect" relationship with no arguing is very rare and not something you should base your relationship off. While we all aspire to have a "perfect" relationship, it's very rare just because you have two different people with two different opinions and they will invariably clash from time to time.

 

[thorson1987]

I've had moments where I think, "I don't need this shit," and think of walking away.

And then I remember why I love my girlfriend so much and it makes me want to never leave her.

Most relationships will have ups and downs - a "perfect" relationship with no arguing is very rare and not something you should base your relationship off. While we all aspire to have a "perfect" relationship, it's very rare just because you have two different people with two different opinions and they will invariably clash from time to time.

Well said.

Still haven't been able to talk with the wife yet but she seems to have cooled down a bit (not as shitty)

Plus she still made my lunches for this week and dinner is cooked for me whenever I get home so that's gotta be a good sign.

Thinking it through the past couple of days and I'm starting to realise that maybe I have been taking her for granted a bit lately. She does all the housework, all the cooking and everything else.

She doesn't let me wash the dishes though as I'm pretty bad at it.

Maybe time to start learning how to cook stuff beside mi goreng and stuff on the BBQ and cook dinner on Saturday nights (cant do midweek and Sundays we usually go to her parents for dinner)

 

[Joker's Wild]

Good idea Thorston

We have to remember that people express love in different ways and they want to receive it in the same manner. There are 3 basic types that I have worked out: verbal, physical and action

My missus is a real action person (shows her love by doing things for others) while Im more of a physical person (hugs, kisses, etc). For a while it got really rough for us until we figured this out. Now I just do shit around the house, pick dinner up on the way home from work, things of that nature and she is stoked. Inversely, shes made a real effort to throw me a hug when I get home, etc and we both get the kind of expression of love that we understand.

It sounds like your missus is a action type Thor. Some little changes can make all of the difference my man

 

[Misanthrope]

Pretty sure I'm going to be a single man again soon. Fed up with the drama.

 

[Dragon2010]

Pretty sure I'm going to be a single man again soon. Fed up with the drama.

Poor Mis. Correct me if I'm wrong, and with all due respect. But didn't you say something about it happening soon anyway as you were going to extend your contract in China and she wanted to go home?

Still, sucks though mate. Sorry to hear that. All the best.

 

[Frederick]

Pretty sure I'm going to be a single man again soon. Fed up with the drama.

No offense intended at all, but not worth it if to keep her happy you have to take her on holidays and put yourself further in debt.

 

[butchmcdick]

Pretty sure I'm going to be a single man again soon. Fed up with the drama.

Tru dat

 

[butchmcdick]

Well said.

Still haven't been able to talk with the wife yet but she seems to have cooled down a bit (not as shitty)

Plus she still made my lunches for this week and dinner is cooked for me whenever I get home so that's gotta be a good sign.

Thinking it through the past couple of days and I'm starting to realise that maybe I have been taking her for granted a bit lately. She does all the housework, all the cooking and everything else.

She doesn't let me wash the dishes though as I'm pretty bad at it.

Maybe time to start learning how to cook stuff beside mi goreng and stuff on the BBQ and cook dinner on Saturday nights (cant do midweek and Sundays we usually go to her parents for dinner)

Mate just say 15 minutes of housework a day makes a huge difference

Don't do what I did though. I would vaccume or do washing and go " hey I did the washing etc ". Eventually the missus just gave me a sarcastic clap and pointed out that she did this shit all the time. I realised that I was thinking when I did housework it was a big f**king deal. When she did it I just expected it

Oh and men who do housework get there knob sucked a lot more

Just try it for a week and see what happens. Trust old uncle butchy