Ask LU - The relationship advice thread II

[sensesmaybenumbed]

The wife is the logical one - in many ways she's not feminine at all. No make-up, no hoopla.

She was selected for a reason!

 

[Rebel]

Second is always best, but be aware women don't always operate like that. I'm the hyper logical / rational in my marriage, but wifey is emotional / feelings based. The thing for me to remember is that its easy to sit and talk if that's what is needed; sometimes its more about listening to her blow up and cop it on the chin as its her emotions then work out for myself what she's upset about and ensure I apologise for the right thing.

The talking through / logical change usually happens after she's gotten angry and I've worked things out. But each relationship is different.

Ditto. That's exactly our problem. Its just when shes ranting, she sometimes says things that aren't that nice. And I can either ignore them and stew, or mention it. If I stew, im letting her 'get away' with it, if I talk later, im accused of carrying it on.

I guess I could try to let a couple of days pass after the blow up before I mention things.

 

[Dragon2010]

Jimmie Status: Rustled.

This girl is really starting to f*cking annoy me.

 

[Drew-Sta]

Nice, SMBN

Ditto. That's exactly our problem. Its just when shes ranting, she sometimes says things that aren't that nice. And I can either ignore them and stew, or mention it. If I stew, im letting her 'get away' with it, if I talk later, im accused of carrying it on.

I guess I could try to let a couple of days pass after the blow up before I mention things.

The key is working out whether what she says is meant or if its just steam. Mine used to say some pretty horrible things at times, and I'd bite which meant the argument got worse. Its only when I learnt that she was really just venting that I could say 'well, sometimes I think those things about her but I don't mean it so I should ignore it as she's probably just saying what I think' if you follow.

In my mind, part of being 'the man' is working out when to take the leadership role and ignore the comments knowing its all bark but no bite. People say 'Yes, but then you're ignoring your feelings with what you don't say' but I suggest back that stuff we do probably upsets her but she bottles it to prevent an argument i.e. farting in bed (did that last night; she laughed it off but mine reek so she was no doubt a little annoyed) or watching too much footy etc etc.

Its part of navigating the foggy waters of relationships, I think. Most comments are steam, I think, just like you bag someone off when they piss you off but you really don't dislike them. Steve Price comes to mind :lol:

 

[BDR]

Just put it in her man, get it over with

 

[Rebel]

Nice, SMBN



The key is working out whether what she says is meant or if its just steam. Mine used to say some pretty horrible things at times, and I'd bite which meant the argument got worse. Its only when I learnt that she was really just venting that I could say 'well, sometimes I think those things about her but I don't mean it so I should ignore it as she's probably just saying what I think' if you follow.

In my mind, part of being 'the man' is working out when to take the leadership role and ignore the comments knowing its all bark but no bite. People say 'Yes, but then you're ignoring your feelings with what you don't say' but I suggest back that stuff we do probably upsets her but she bottles it to prevent an argument i.e. farting in bed (did that last night; she laughed it off but mine reek so she was no doubt a little annoyed) or watching too much footy etc etc.

Its part of navigating the foggy waters of relationships, I think. Most comments are steam, I think, just like you bag someone off when they piss you off but you really don't dislike them. Steve Price comes to mind :lol:

Ahhh the voice of reason drew

Any tips for not biting and for letting the comment not get to you? How do you manage to get to that stage?

 

[sensesmaybenumbed]

Literally - bite your tongue and count to 10.

 

[Dragon2010]

Just put it in her man, get it over with

If that's aimed at me. One simple answer, no.

 

[Twizzle]

Literally - bite your tongue and count to 10.

or a nipple

 

[sensesmaybenumbed]

or a nipple

The mini SMBN will be teething soon. This could be a fine side effect on Mrs SMBN.

 

[butchmcdick]

Just put it in her man, get it over with

Amen Brother, Amen

 

[Dutchy]

Always keen for a struggle cuddle

 

[God-King Dean]

Oh enough already. I've said it before Frederick is a stinkin' liar. I DO NOT have a fixation with goats. f**kin' idiot.

Whoa, holy f**k man, just calm down man, whoa, f**k. Jesus Christ bro, f**k.

 

[Dragon2010]

Fire-up lad!

 

[Drew-Sta]

Ahhh the voice of reason drew

Any tips for not biting and for letting the comment not get to you? How do you manage to get to that stage?

Literally - bite your tongue and count to 10.

SMBN is pretty close to the mark. Essentially, you just have to grow a 'skin' and let it slide. No same tactic will work for everyone I suspect, so whatever works best for you.

And practice. You need to practice not biting.

 

[BDR]

Nothing like taking abuse from someone who is supposed to love you with gentle good humor :sarcasm:

 

[Didgi]

Jimmie Status: Rustled.

This girl is really starting to f*cking annoy me.

Whats the go man?

Only girl that was into me that pissed me off was a bit of a nutter so our whole friendship group basically pushed her out.

 

[God-King Dean]

My advice to those having relationship problems: watch Caesar Milan in the Dog Whisperer.

Tsst!

 

[butchmcdick]

My advice to those having relationship problems: watch Caesar Milan in the Dog Whisperer.

Tsst!

:lol:

Post of the day !!

 

[DragonPunk]

My advice to those having relationship problems: watch Caesar Milan in the Dog Whisperer.

Tsst!

The master.