Ask LU - The relationship advice thread II

[Dragon2010]

How exactly am I lucky?

 

[Dutchy]

We give A grade advice

 

[soc123_au]

I am shocked you had to ask. We have just unravelled the mysteries of the universe for you in less than 2 pages.

 

[Scott Gourley's Lovechild]

No babiz in da poopa

Finish with an angry dragon just to be sure.

Pretty much how sex ed should go at school tbh.

 

[Dutchy]

Well I am a qualified PDHPE teacher SGL.

 

[Dragon2010]

:lol: Fair enough. Cheers then. I'll think about it...still. Jimmies rustled. Still does my head-in to.

 

[Scott Gourley's Lovechild]

Well I am a qualified PDHPE teacher SGL.

I feel safe knowing any kids I would have are in your capible hands...

 

[Dutchy]

Not literally.

 

[thorson1987]

I feel safe knowing any kids I would have are in your capible hands...

Not a teacher at Knox Grammar are you Dutchy?

 

[Scott Gourley's Lovechild]

I was told you have lollies and a van ;-)

 

[Misanthrope]

This isn't so much asking for advice, but just venting a little and asking a question.

Has anybody ever been in a relationship that they knew needed to end, but couldn't bring themselves to do it? This girl I'm with is cute and makes me laugh, but ultimately we argue too much and being together doesn't seem to bring either of us a great deal of happiness. It's getting to the point that I look forward to the hours I have where I'm not working and she is - just so I can have some 'me' time again.

Given she came here to be with me, I feel obliged to 'tough it out' until her contract is up in two months. It's the least I can do given she uprooted her life to be here with me.

But if I'm being honest - sadness at the fact that she's one of my best friends and makes me laugh - I'm looking forward to being single again. I miss being in charge of my own shit 24/7.

 

[Dragon2010]

You have to do what makes you happy, you shouldn't be feeling obliged or like you owe her.

 

[Misanthrope]

You have to do what makes you happy, you shouldn't be feeling obliged or like you owe her.

Don't I, though? She had a life in the US and she gave that up to come here and be with me. She opted to stay here when I went home recently because I said I'd do a kind of 'break up tour' with her when her contract ended.

I feel like if staying with her and giving her a support network in a country where she knows nobody is the right thing to do.

 

[Eelementary]

Don't I, though? She had a life in the US and she gave that up to come here and be with me. She opted to stay here when I went home recently because I said I'd do a kind of 'break up tour' with her when her contract ended.

I feel like if staying with her and giving her a support network in a country where she knows nobody is the right thing to do.

Did you ask her to come and be with you?

 

[Misanthrope]

Did you ask her to come and be with you?

Yes and no. When I was with her in the States I said I wanted her to, but after getting back to China I realized it probably wasn't a good idea and tried to discourage her.

Basically, I pussied out. I should have just said "Don't come" but instead I tried to dissuade her.

Don't get me wrong, I have had fun with her being here - but I just don't think we should have let this go on so long.

 

[Dragon2010]

Don't I, though? She had a life in the US and she gave that up to come here and be with me. She opted to stay here when I went home recently because I said I'd do a kind of 'break up tour' with her when her contract ended.

I feel like if staying with her and giving her a support network in a country where she knows nobody is the right thing to do.

No you don't. To me, it just feels like your delaying the inevitable hoping for some good to come down the track. Waiting for the better to come. I think she feels the same to. It sounds like you're both there "Just for the sake of it".

 

[Misanthrope]

No you don't. To me, it just feels like your delaying the inevitable hoping for some good to come down the track. Waiting for the better to come. I think she feels the same to. It sounds like you're both there "Just for the sake of it".

I guess her being young, naive, and away from home for the first time - I feel a sense of responsibility for her. If I were to break things off, she'd have nothing here but her two day a week job and her depressing little dorm style apartment.

She hasn't made a lot of friends here and I'm really the only person she has to talk to or turn to. I'd just feel awful leaving her to survive here on her own knowing how tough it's been for her even with me here.

I don't expect this to come good. I know it won't.

 

[Dragon2010]

I guess her being young, naive, and away from home for the first time - I feel a sense of responsibility for her. If I were to break things off, she'd have nothing here but her two day a week job and her depressing little dorm style apartment.

She hasn't made a lot of friends here and I'm really the only person she has to talk to or turn to. I'd just feel awful leaving her to survive here on her own knowing how tough it's been for her even with me here.

I don't expect this to come good. I know it won't.

Fair enough then, I'm not going to argue with you mate. But you have to do what's right for you. Can't play the comfort game for her because she went on an adventure, can't make/have many friends.etc.etc Not to sound mean in this but do what's best for you and your development and progress in life. The way you describe it, sounds that way

I'll say this; all the best mate and hope you make the decision that's best for you and one your'e happy with.

 

[Misanthrope]

Not to sound mean in this but do what's best for you and your development and progress in life. The way you describe it, sounds that way

I'll say this; all the best mate and hope you make the decision that's best for you and one your'e happy with.

I agree with you. I guess that's why I posted. I needed to hear it from somebody other than my inner monologue.

 

[Rebel]

Hugs CWB. Your a good dude and whatever happens I know you will come out of this ok. If you both have agreed to end it when she goes, why is it an issue two months out? Are the cons starting to outweigh the pros? I'd have a convo with her about whats upsetting you, and try and fix those issues. Approch it like.. "we only have a couple of months left... I want these months to be full of as much happyness as possible" etc.