It's Luis Izzo's shout, but don't ask him for a schmiddy.
Purchasing beer was traditionally a simple task, and this made me happy. For decades Sydney beer has only ever been available in two sizes - the middy and the schooner. More simply put, you could get a big glass or you could get a little glass. Too easy. And then some publican somewhere in Sydney's CBD or trendy inner-east invented the "schmiddy". Overnight, my world transformed.
For a start, most city pubs and bars stopped referring to glasses of beer as schooners. Now you simply order "a" beer. This new form of beer looks like a schooner, even feels like a schooner, but on closer inspection (and with a trusty measuring cup by your side) you will notice that the beer measures a paltry 350 millilitres. Now a schooner is 425 millilitres, so this new form of beer can't be a schooner. Maybe it's a middy, you ask. But no, that's not right either. A middy is 285 millilitres. And then you realise - it's a schmiddy.
What's wrong with introducing a new size of beer you might ask. Well, nothing really. Infact, if anything, it provides more variety. But if you think I'm being overly sensitive you are placing far too much trust in Sydney publicans. You see, not only did the schooner mysteriously disappear from 75 per cent of city bars the day the schmiddy was introduced but, more horrifically, the schmiddy - at 75 millilitres less than a schooner - entered our city bars at exactly the same price as bars were once charging for a schooner. Now you see the problem.
My research has led me to interview scores of bartenders who seem to have more loyalty to the average drinker than to their employers. These bartenders around the city have always freely admitted to me that yes, I am being conned. And yes, there was no price change when the schooner was replaced by the schmiddy.
But they were shocked to realise that someone actually noticed. They seem to think the average suit who walks into a bar just slaps their credit card down without having a clue what they're ordering.
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