Favourite Movie Quotes

[Det.Wojciehowicz]

The Princess Bride (1987)

Inigo Montoya: Hello. My name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to die.

Westley: Give us the gate key.
Yellin: I have no gate key.
Inigo Montoya: Fezzik, tear his arms off.
Yellin: Oh, you mean *this* gate key.

Vizzini: HE DIDN'T FALL? INCONCEIVABLE.
Inigo Montoya: You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means.

Vizzini: I can't compete with you physically, and you're no match for my brains.
Man in Black: You're that smart?
Vizzini: Let me put it this way. Have you ever heard of Plato, Aristotle, Socrates?
Man in Black: Yes.
Vizzini: Morons.

Inigo Montoya: Is very strange. I have been in the revenge business so long, now that it's over, I don't know what to do with the rest of my life.
Westley: Have you ever considered piracy? You'd make a wonderful Dread Pirate Roberts.

Miracle Max: Beat it or I'll call the Brute Squad.
Fezzik: I'm on the Brute Squad.
Miracle Max: [sees Fezzik] You ARE the Brute Squad!

[On arriving at the Fire Swamp]
Westley: It's not that bad.
[Buttercup looks at him incredulously]
Westley: Well, I'm not saying I'd like to build a summer home here, but the trees are actually quite lovely.

Miracle Max: You rush a miracle man, you get rotten miracles.

Miracle Max: [Lifts and drops the arm of the dead Westley] I've seen worse.


Miracle Max: He probably owes you money huh? I'll ask him.
Inigo Montoya: He's dead. He can't talk.
Miracle Max: Whoo-hoo-hoo, look who knows so much. It just so happens that your friend here is only MOSTLY dead. There's a big difference between mostly dead and all dead. Mostly dead is slightly alive. With all dead, well, with all dead there's usually only one thing you can do.
Inigo Montoya: What's that?
Miracle Max: Go through his clothes and look for loose change.

 

[Det.Wojciehowicz]

while he didn't direct it, this is IMO Tarantinos best script

True Romance (1993)

Drexl Spivey: No thanks? What does that mean? Means you ate before you came down here? All full. Is that it? Naw, I don't think so. I think you're too scared to be eatin'. Now, see we're sittin' down here, ready to negotiate, and you've already given up your shit. I'm still a mystery to you. But I know exactly where your white ass is comin' from. See, if I asked you if you wanted some dinner and you grabbed an egg roll and started to chow down, I'd say to myself, "This motherf**ker's carryin' on like he ain't got a care in the world. Who know? Maybe he don't. Maybe this fool's such a bad motherf**ker, he don't got to worry about nothin', he just sit down, eat my Chinese, watch my TV." See? You ain't even sat down yet. On that TV there, since you been in the room, is a woman with her breasteses hangin' out, and you ain't even bothered to look. You just been clockin' me. Now, I know I'm pretty, but I ain't as pretty as a couple of titties.
Clarence Worley: I'm not eatin' 'cause I'm not hungry. I'm not sittin' 'cause I'm not stayin'. I'm not lookin' at the movie 'cause I saw it seven years ago. It's "The Mack" with Max Julien, Carol Speed, and Richard Pryor. I'm not scared of you. I just don't like you. In that envelope is some payoff money. Alabama's moving on to some greener pastures. We're not negotiatin'. I don't like to barter. I don't like to dicker. I never have fun in Tijuana. That price is non-negotiable. What's in that envelope is for my peace of mind. My peace of mind is worth that much. Not one penny more, not one penny more.

Alabama: Amid the chaos of that day, when all I could hear was the thunder of gunshots, and all I could smell was the violence in the air, I look back and am amazed that my thoughts were so clear and true, that three words went through my mind endlessly, repeating themselves like a broken record: you're so cool, you're so cool, you're so cool. And sometimes Clarence asks me what I would have done if he had died, if that bullet had been two inches more to the left. To this, I always smile, as if I'm not going to satisfy him with a response. But I always do. I tell him of how I would want to die, but that the anguish and the want of death would fade like the stars at dawn, and that things would be much as they are now. Perhaps. Except maybe I wouldn't have named our son Elvis.

Vincenzo Coccotti: Sicilians are great liars. The best in the world. I'm Sicilian. My father was the world heavy-weight champion of Sicilian liars. From growing up with him I learned the pantomime. There are seventeen different things a guy can do when he lies to give himself away. A guys got seventeen pantomimes. A woman's got twenty, but a guy's got seventeen... but, if you know them, like you know your own face, they beat lie detectors all to hell. Now, what we got here is a little game of show and tell. You don't wanna show me nothin', but you're tellin me everything. I know you know where they are, so tell me before I do some damage you won't walk away from.

Clarence Worley: [to Alabama, who's apprehensive about his gun] If there's one thing this last week has taught me, it's better to have a gun and not need it than to need a gun and not have it.

Drexl Spivey: He must have thought it was white boy day. It ain't white boy day, is it?
Marty: No man, It ain't white boy day.

Alabama: ...and all I could think was-you're so cool!

Big Don: I eat the pussy, I eat the butt, I eat every motherf*ckin' thang

Coccotti: You know who I am, Mr. Worley?
Clifford Worley: I give up. Who are you?
Coccotti: I'm the Anti-Christ. You got me in a vendetta kind of mood. You tell the angels in heaven you never seen evil so singularly personified as you did in the face of the man who killed you. My name is Vincent Coccotti. I work as counsel for Mr. Blue Lou Boyle, the man your son stole from. I hear you were once a cop so I can assume you've heard of us before. Am I correct?
Clifford Worley: I've heard of Blue Lou Boyle.
Coccotti: I'm glad. Hopefully that will clear up the "how full of shit am I?" question you've been asking yourself.

Elliot: Hi. How are you? My name's Elliot, and I'm with the Cub Scouts of America. We're... we're selling uncut cocaine to get to the jamboree.

Clarence Worley: I mean look at her. It looks like she fell off the ugly tree and hit every branch on the way down.

Drexl Spivey: They got everything here from a diddled-eyed Joe to damned if I know.

Clarence Worley: I always said, if I had to f*ck a guy... I mean had to, if my life depended on it... I'd f*ck Elvis.

Alabama: Okay dokey, doggie daddy.

Alabama: Did I do my part okay?
Clarence Worley: Bamaloo you were perfect.
Alabama: Like a ninja?
Clarence Worley: Like a ninja.

Clifford Worley: [after Alabama kisses him] Son of a bitch was right. She tastes like a peach.

Clarence Worley: [Peeling out in reverse into oncoming traffic] We now return to Bullit already in progress.

Coccotti: Now, what we got here is a little game of show and tell. You don't wanna show me nothing but you're telling me everything.

Mentor: I gotta hand it to you Clarence.
Clarence Worley: I was cool?
Mentor: Naw man you were cooler than cool.

 

[Det.Wojciehowicz]

After Hours (1985)



[Paul has no money for a subway token]
Paul Hackett: Couldn't you just give me one token, please?
Subway Attendant: I can't do that. I may lose my job.
[Paul looks around and sees no one else in the station]
Paul Hackett: Well, who would know... exactly?
Subway Attendant: I could go to a party, get drunk, talk to someone... who knows?

Marcy: My husband was a movie freak. Actually, he was particularly obsessed with one movie, "The Wizard of Oz." He talked about it constantly. I thought it was cute at first. On our wedding night, I was a virgin. When we made love - you've seen the movie, haven't you?
Paul Hackett: "The Wizard of Oz"? Yeah, I've seen it.
Marcy: Well, when we made love, whenever he - you know, when he came, he would just - scream out, "Surrender Dorothy!" That's all! Just "Surrender Dorothy!"
Paul Hackett: Wow.
Marcy: I know. Instead of moaning or saying, "Oh, God" or something normal like that. I mean, it was pretty creepy! And I told him I thought so, but he just, he just couldn't stop, he just, he just couldn't stop, he just... couldn't stop.

Pepe: The art sure is ugly, man.
Neil: That's how much you know, man. You know, the uglier the art, the more it's worth.
Pepe: This must be worth a fortune, man.
Pepe: That's right. It's by that famous guy Segal.
Neil: Yeah?
Neil: Yeah, you see him, he's on the Carson show, man. Plays the banjo all the time.
Pepe: I never watch Carson.
Neil: Yeah? Well, that's how much you know about art.

Paul Hackett: [on his knees, screaming to the heavens] What do you want from me? What have I done? I'm just a word processor, for Christ sake!

Paul Hackett: Could we have the check?
Coffee Shop Cashier: It's on the house.
Paul Hackett: Really?
Coffee Shop Cashier: Sure. What the hell. Different rules apply when it get's this late. You know what I mean? It's like after hours.

Paul Hackett: You have a great body.
Kiki: Yes. Not a lot of scars.

Neil: What do you know man? A stereo's a stereo. Art is forever!

[Paul is trying to get into a nightclub]
Club Berlin Bouncer: Got any money?
Paul Hackett: Yes I got money. Is that what this is all about, you want money? Why didn't you ask for that in the first place man. Here, it's all I got.
[gives the Bouncer a quarter]
Club Berlin Bouncer: I'll take your money 'cos I don't want you to feel you left anything untried. Now, you keep the quarter.
[gives Paul his quarter back]
Club Berlin Bouncer: ...but you still have to wait a few minutes.

Pepe: Hey, let's knock off for today. Okay? My back's killin' me.
Neil: Oh, come on, let's go find my statue, man. It's got to be around here someplace. That makes me sick. You know, that statue is the first thing in my life that I ever bought! See what happens when you pay for stuff! Somebody rips it off.

 

[Det.Wojciehowicz]

Up In Smoke (1978)

Border Guard: So, how long you've been in Mexico?
Pedro de Pacas: A week. I mean a day.
Border Guard: Well, which is it? A week or a day?
Pedro de Pacas: A weekday.

Anthony Stoner: [on police radio] Hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, can you hear me?
Clyde - Narc: Hello, headquarters? Hello, headquarters? Come in, headquarters. This is Officer Clive... we are...
Sgt. Stedenko: Use the codename! The codename!
Clyde - Narc: Headquarters, headquarters come in, please. The is Codename Hardhead.
Sgt. Stedenko: Hat! Hardhat! Give me that! Hello, radio dispatch? This is Codename Hardhat, Codename Hardhat, do you read me? Over.
Anthony Stoner: Was that Lardass?
Sgt. Stedenko: Hardhat! Codename Hardhat! Do you read, radio dispatch?
Anthony Stoner: Hey, I got somethin' for ya, Lardass!
Sgt. Stedenko: Hardhat! Hard... Hat! Do you understand?
Pedro de Pacas: Lardass, Lardass!
Sgt. Stedenko: Hardhat! Radio dispatch, do you know who this is?
Pedro de Pacas: Naw, who is this is?
Sgt. Stedenko: This is Sergeant Stedenko!
Pedro de Pacas: Oh yeah, you know who this is?
Sgt. Stedenko: No!
Pedro de Pacas: Bye-bye, Lardass

Anthony Stoner: You wanna get high man?
Pedro de Pacas: Does Howdy Doody got wooden Balls man?

Anthony Stoner: Man, what is in this shit, man?
Anthony Stoner: Mostly Maui Waui man, but it's got some Labrador in it.
Pedro de Pacas: What's Labrador?
Anthony Stoner: It's dog shit.
Pedro de Pacas: What?
Anthony Stoner: Yeah, my dog ate my stash, man.
Pedro de Pacas: Yeah?
Anthony Stoner: I had it on the table and the little motherf*cker ate it, man.
Anthony Stoner: Then I had to follow him around with a little baggie for three days, man,
Anthony Stoner: before I got it back. Really blew the dog's mind, ya know?
Pedro de Pacas: You mean we're smokin' dog shit, man?
Anthony Stoner: Gets ya high, don't it?
Pedro de Pacas: [Song, "Rockin' Robin" plays...]
Anthony Stoner: I think it's even better than before, you know?
Pedro de Pacas: Uhhh, I wonder what Great Dane tastes like, man.

Anthony Stoner: You just ate the most acid I've ever seen anybody eat in my life!
Pedro de Pacas: Hey, man, I never had no acid before, man.
Anthony Stoner: Jeez, I hope you're not busy for about a month...

Arnold Stoner: Don't walk away from me when I'm talking to you! You get a goddamn job before sundown...
Mrs. Tempest Stoner: [pointing to Anthony as he walks away] Is that some kind of peace sign?
Arnold Stoner: ...or we're shipping you off to military school with that... goddamn Finkelstein... shit kid!
[turns away in frustration]
Arnold Stoner: Son of a BITCH!

Unknown: Sgt. Stedenko what are you exactly looking for?
Sgt. Stedenko: Dope, drugs, weed, grass, toot, smack, quackers, uppers, downers, all arounders. You name it we want it!

Sgt. Stedenko: The only kind of meat a priest could eat on Friday was nun.

Pedro de Pacas: I been smoking since I was born, man, I can smoke anything, man. You know like I smoke that Michoacán, and Acapulco Gold, man. I even smoke that tied stick, you know?
Anthony Stoner: "Tied stick"?
Pedro de Pacas: Yeah, you know that stuff that's tied to a stick.
Anthony Stoner: Ohh, THAI stick.

Curtis: Hey, man, I got some weed straight from Turkey, boy. It's what set them Arabs off.
Pedro de Pacas: Arabs from Turkey?
Curtis: Yeah, man! Yeah! It was from Turkey. Hey, man, this stuff is so bad, it'll put a hump in a camel's back.
Pedro de Pacas: No shit?
Curtis: I wouldn't shit you, baby. I mean, this is some bad weed.
Pedro de Pacas: You got it on you?
Curtis: I got it on me, man. You got to check it out. It'll boogie-woogie on your brain.
Pedro de Pacas: Alright.
Curtis: Just cause we tight, I'm gonna let you have it for a double-dime.

Pedro de Pacas: Don't worry, man. Those aren't narcs, they're Las Emigras; you know, the Immigration Service looking for illegal aliens.
Anthony Stoner: What's the Immigration Service doing here, man?
Pedro de Pacas: My cousin needed a ride to his brother's wedding in Tijuana; so he called the Emigras, man. They'll deport the entire wedding party, man. They get a free bus ride across the border and lunch. When the wedding is over, man, they'll just come back across the border.

Arresting Officer: [to Man] Sir, what's your name?
Pedro de Pacas: Whut? I told you my name, man!
Arresting Officer: [to Man] Sir... what's YOUR name?
Pedro de Pacas: [to Man] Hey man! The dude wants to know your name, man!
[Man vomits onto the floor of the car]
Pedro de Pacas: Uuhhh - His name is RAALLLPH, man!

Sgt. Stedenko: Some asshole pissed on my leg!

Anthony Stoner: Who lives here, man?
Pedro de Pacas: That's my cousin Strawberry, man. He's probably got some dope, man. He's always got the best smoke.
Anthony Stoner: Oh, I hope so, man.
Pedro de Pacas: Yeah, well, he's cool. His only thing is, he's a little weird. You know, like, he went over to Vietnam, man, and he came back all weirded out, you know.
Anthony Stoner: Yeah, well, that 'Nam grass will do it to you, man.

Pedro de Pacas: I can't believe we can't find no grass nowhere, man.
Anthony Stoner: That's 'cause too many people are smoking it now. And it really makes it tough on the rest of us.

 

[Det.Wojciehowicz]

Harold and Maude (1971)

Maude: You know, at one time, I used to break into pet shops to liberate the canaries. But I decided that was an idea way before its time. Zoos are full, prisons are overflowing... oh my, how the world still *dearly* loves a *cage.*

Harold: You sure have a way with people.
Maude: Well, they're my species!

Maude: Harold, *everyone* has the right to make an ass out of themselves. You just can't let the world judge you too much.

Maude: The earth is my body; my head is in the stars.
[pauses]
Maude: Who said that, Harold?
Harold: I don't know.
Maude: Well, I suppose I did, then.

Psychiatrist: A very common neurosis; particularly in this society, whereby the male child subconsciously wishes to sleep with his mother. Of course what puzzles me, Harold; is that you want to sleep with your grandmother.

Maude: [to a motorcycle officer] *Don't* get officious. You're not yourself when you're officious - That is the curse of a government job.

Maude: Vice, Virtue. It's best not to be too moral. You cheat yourself out of too much *life.* Aim above morality. If you apply that to life, then you're bound to live life fully.

Harold: I haven't lived. I've died a few times.

Maude: Consistency is not *really* a human trait.

Harold: [non-sequitur to hawkish uncle] During war time, the national suicide rate goes down.

Maude: Vice, virtue, it's best not to be too moral; you cheat yourself out of too much life. Aim above morality. When you apply that to life, then you're bound to live it fully!

Uncle Victor: [attempting to interest Harold in military service] Now, why in hell did we give up on the Germans? Since the damn politicians chalked them up on our side, the wars ever since have been a national disgrace. Hell, look at history - the two best wars we ever fought were against the Jerries. I say get the Krauts on the other side where they belong. Let's have an enemy worth killing and a war this country can support.