On Wednesday i finished a lecture at the Unversity of Newcastle and then went to the Kent ( pub) to catch up with a gal i'm seeing and a friend of hers. When i got there the girl i'm seeing friend introduced me to these two blokes. From the beginging i thought they were wankers, just the way they didn't really introduce themselves to me and really didn't care, i didn't give a sh*t anyway, i wasn't there to see them.
After about 1 hour these guys decided to use the Juke Box, as one of them was carrying a guitar bag with a guitar inside i thought 'maybe these blokes have good taste in music' didn't have to be 80's hair metal or anything just something that sounded good and wasn't piss easy to play on guitar like that f**king Ramones sh*t and Australian Music, which by the way is a world leader in producing sh*thouse music, just look at how many groups make it overseas eg You am I.
Anyway back to the story, me and my girl were just joking and i thought i heard UB40 on the Juke Box come on ( Red Red Wine) I immediately pissed myself laughing cause it sounded like it, and you wouldn't expect these two farkleberrys who thought they were the greatest muso's alive to play it, it was it!!! I thought to myself 'oh my f**king god, keep your composure Ron, obviously they made a mistake', they didn't, they even started singing every line.
After that, they decided that the pub wanted to hear their crappy music, so one of the blokes pulled out his guitar and the other sang, they started playing some group called 'Sublime' it was f**king woeful, not only could they not sing and play well, but the lyrics and the song in general was just f**king sh*t, i was so embarrsed, the rest of the club were giving them foul looks because of not only how bad they were playing, but this group 'Sublime' sounded like sh*t, 2 chords over and over, and the lyrics? well sh*thouse, all i kept hearing was 'women women'. Me and my girl ( who has great taste, diverse but great' were really embarrased.
After that i asked one of the blokes if he knew any Gunners ( you know real music by real musicians) and he said 'who are they' the bloke was only like 26 years old so he f**king knew who they were. I then asked him if he knew any Pearl Jam or STP, hey i've got a winner here surely? everyone appreciates these bands? well, he said 'No, who are they' again, i said 'you never heard of Pearl Jam, the group tha has sold 50 million albums, inlflunced many' he said never heard of them whilst giving me this snoddy up myself look, his mate chimes in and then says ' we don't play sh*t music' whilst strumming a few chords to this sh*thouse sublime or whatever it's f**king called, the most god awful music since You am I and other retarted Australian bands.
I thought unbelievable, my gal then suggests ' Ron ask them if you can play there guitar' which i did, the guy goes ' so you play huh?' just started' i said yeah, been getting lessions for about 3 months now' ( just f**king with them) they were giggling like 16 year old bitches. I thought ' ok, i'm going to bring out the heavy artillary in front of everyone' i started with 'Always with me Always with you' by Satch, and yep they never heard of it with the snoddy look. They started getting uncomfortable when i started playing Dead or Alive on the guitar, then as everyone was coming to our table i thought ' time to bring out the big guns', i played Spanish Fly by Van Halen, then followed it up with Eruption by Van Halen which whilst hard to do on acoustic the talent and complexity is obvious.
Everyone but those two moron f**kwit OZ music lovers were left stone faced and embarrased. All arvo i had to listen to there sh*t and listen to them talk about how good they were as well as their influences, and in a 10 minute session i destroyed there hopes, dreams and confidence, back to the drawing board f**kers:lol:
As i said goodbye to everyone they gave me a 'yep bye', i told them to 'stick that up your arse' my gal who hated them too pissed herself laughing.
Anyway thought i'd share that story, even though i rarely play anymore and i thought whats the point? it's good to know that what i've learnt can still be used dumbfounding try hard OZ music lovers:lol:
Uni wankers ( yes i see the irony)
