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Laughter Is The Best Medicine

Tigerm

Coach
Messages
10,013
A young man named Chuck bought a horse from a farmer for $250, and the farmer agreed to deliver it the next day.
The following day, the farmer arrived at Chuck's house and said, "Sorry, but I have some bad news—the horse died."
Chuck replied, "Well, then just give me my money back."
The farmer said, "I can’t do that. I already spent the money."
Chuck said, "Okay, then just bring me the dead horse."
The farmer asked, "What are you going to do with it?"
Chuck said, "I’m going to raffle it off."
The farmer said, "You can’t raffle off a dead horse!"
Chuck said, "Sure I can. Watch me. I just won’t tell anyone it’s dead."
A month later, the farmer ran into Chuck and asked, "What happened with that dead horse?"
Chuck said, "I raffled it off. I sold 500 tickets at five dollars each and made a profit of $2,495."
The farmer asked, "Didn’t anyone complain?"
Chuck said, "Just the guy who won. So I gave him his $5 back."
Chuck grew up and now works for the government.
 

Tigerm

Coach
Messages
10,013
Two old stockmen are sitting on the verandah of their outback town’s pub having a beer when they get to talking about the merits of their cattle dogs - and which was the better, more intelligent, dog.
They decide to settle the matter. The younger drover, Bluey (so named because of his red hair), says to his mate, “Watch this”. He then addresses his dog, “Jack, I’m hungry !” Jack looks at his master briefly and then takes off. Out into the street he runs, turns right and lopes down to Mrs Jones house, into her back yard and wriggles under the chook-house fence. Jack carefully takes a hen’s egg in his mouth and heads off. Arriving back at the pub, Jack gathers some wood, a billy and some water, he lights a fire and boils the egg exactly for 2 minutes for his master. Jack takes the egg out of the water and lays it at his masters feet. “What d’ya reckon about that ?” says the proud dog-owner, Bluey.
“Not bad”, drawls his older mate, Bruce, as he sips his beer. He turns to his dog and says softly, “Sam, I need something to eat too”. His dog immediately runs off down the street. About 5 minutes later he is back, also carefully carrying a hen’s egg. He, too, gathers wood, boils the billy and produces a perfect two-minute cooked egg which he lays at Bruce’s feet…….and then he stands on his head. “Perfect”, says Bluey, “Exactly the same as my dog…….. but why is he standing on his head ?”
“Oh”, says the older man, “He knows I don’t have an egg cup !”
 

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