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Limerick contest

Jimbo

Immortal
Messages
40,107
There is a young androtop from Sans Souci
Who bangs his mates in his Suzuki
He goes for Stain George
His arse is a gorge
'Cause his sexual preference is kooky
 

dimitri

First Grade
Messages
7,980
the shire is a hole
every chick is a mole
their father is on the dole
their football team has no soul

no premierships
no glory
less talent
than spellings daughter tori
 
Messages
15,203
Dear (God/Allah/Buddha/other entity of your choice) we ask you to afflict Dimitri with a brain aneurysm that will lead to his slow and painful death. O, Lord, may his blood vessels bulge out of his head and explode without mercy. May he writhe in agony on his bedroom floor after posting his last pathetic message on this forum. May he desperately gasp for breath and recall all the people he tried to insult with his miserable nonsense. May he lay on the floor and twitch uncontrollably as he contemplates his worthless life. O, Lord, may he lose control of his bowels in those final moments so that the last and only warm feeling he ever experiences is his own shit. We ask this in all sincerity and humbleness. Amen.
 

dimitri

First Grade
Messages
7,980
shire shark

you have serious problems

you have just taken something way too far

grow up

:roll:
 
Messages
15,203
btw sodomitri
if you rack off
i'll think about ceasing my prayer

no one invited you here
youre a mess, a germ, a parasite

you know that youre an absolute disgrace

should my prayers come true
your tombstone should read "we are poorer for having known him; richer for having lost him"
 

Frenzy

Juniors
Messages
998
Eskimo Sharkie said:
dimitri said:
what does extinction rhyme with in that?

It doesn't have to.

The definition of a limerick is:

Limerick:
a fixed verse form appearing first in The History of Sixteen Wonderful Old Women (1820), popularized by Edward Lear, and rhyming aabba, where a-lines have five feet and the b-lines three feet, and where the first and last lines end with the same word (a practice dropped in the 20th century). A limerick has been defined as "A comic poem consisting of one couplet of accentual Poulter's Measure with fixed (internal) rhyme: 3aa2bb3a" (Malof, 204). Lear fused the third and fourth lines into a single line with internal rhyme. See anonymous examples or ones authored by such as Gelett Burgess and A. H. Reginald Buller.

And that is a beauty Dean!

I beg to differ Eskimo :) The limerick is THE most structured of all the poems and has several literary "rules" that should be followed. One is that it MUST rhyme in lines 1,2 and 5 and in lines 3 and 4 :)

PART ONE
BASIC RULES AND DEFINITIONS
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The following is a simplified descripition of what constitutes a limerick. Reference to "Lure" is Lure of the Limerick. See outlink page for reference.

Rhyme Scheme
Limerick must have five lines with aabba rhyme scheme. This much is well known.

Rhythm
The beat must be anapestic (weak, weak, strong) with three feet in lines 1, 2, and 5 and 2 feet in lines 3 and 4. This will be explained further below. However the following exceptions are allowed:

The first foot of an line may have only one weak beat in front of the strong beat.

Trailing weak beats that continue the rhyme are allowed at the end of the each line. Naturally these sounds must be identical over rhyming lines.

The following covers most cases, where S equals a strong beat, w indicates a weak beat, and the brackets indicate that the beat is optional. Note that on the same line, different strong beats are always separated by exactly two weak beats. The options apply only to the leading and trailing beats.

Lines 1,2,5: w [w] S w w S w w S [w] [w] (8 sylables only)

Lines 3,4: w [w] S w w S [w] [w] (5 sylables only)

Restriction on Rhyming Beats.
The last strong beats in the lines must rhyme (1,2,5 and 3,4) and the any weak beats at the end must match and must have the same sound over rhyming lines. Limericks with two weak beats at the end are less common than those with one or none. In poetry books, single beat rhymes are called masculine rhymes; two-beat rhymes are called feminine rhymes. A combination of wwS is called an anapest; a combination wS is called an iamb.

Beginning weak beats
Note that each line can start with either one or two weak beats. Various writers have proposed special restrictions (such as requiring just one weak beat at the start of lines one and two, or requiring matching the initial number of weak beats over certain lines), but all such restrictions fail the empirical test of describing what good anthologies and recognized masters have produced.

Even some apparent patterns such as one weak beat for the first foot of line one is caused mainly by the two formulas, "There was a . . . ," and "There once was a . . ." By the way, readers should note that the following formulation is wrong:

There once was a young lady . . .

The reason is that "once" takes a strong beat as does the first syllable of "lady" and there are three weak beats in between. This is taboo. So basically, your practice should be:

1. If you want an adjective, use something like, "There was a young lady . . ."

2. If you wish to omit the adjective, then use something like, "There once was a lady . . ."

Sleep now people........................................

:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:
 

Frenzy

Juniors
Messages
998
ShireShark said:
Geez Frenzy if you were any more anal we'd have to start calling you dimitri!

Just jokes!
:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

It does say discussion with Eskimo.

Just a bugbear of mine. Nothing worse than a badly made limerick.

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dimitri

First Grade
Messages
7,980
cronulla cronulla
they have a new shark
pity they dont have any talent
across the park

their coach doesnt speak
to the rest of the team
they wont win again
for another 40 years it seems

they hail from the shire
in sydneys south
u can pick up a chick from hunters
and cum in her mouth
 
Messages
15,203
dimitri said:
some monotonous rubbish

Everybody now:
Dear (God/Allah/Buddha/other entity of your choice) we ask you to afflict Dimitri with a brain aneurysm that will lead to his slow and painful death. O, Lord, may his blood vessels bulge out of his head and explode without mercy. May he writhe in agony on his bedroom floor after posting his last pathetic message on this forum. May he desperately gasp for breath and recall all the people he tried to insult with his miserable nonsense. May he lay on the floor and twitch uncontrollably as he contemplates his worthless life. O, Lord, may he lose control of his bowels in those final moments so that the last and only warm feeling he ever experiences is his own sh*t. We ask this in all sincerity and humbleness. Amen.
 

Special K

Coach
Messages
19,521
dimitri said:
well hes not the only leader who follows the dragons is he
I guess thats why he always is wearing rar rar gear and going to rar rar games.

It can even turn the best of them if your a dragons fan :lol:
 

dimitri

First Grade
Messages
7,980
its all an act

its all an act

nobody follows yawn yawn in this country


its all an act
 

bubs

Juniors
Messages
915
There once was a young troll named Dimi.
Being a dragqueens supporter his head is quite swimmy.
He spends his life in the Shire
It's the place he admires
He'd much rather live here than in Arncliffy.

(well almost rhymes.)
 

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