WILLIE MASON INVOLVED IN VICIOUS DAYTIME ASSAULT
Source: A unified Sydney media collaboration
www.fuxsports.cum.au
Willie Mason a well-known NRL identity and thug has been named as the perpetrator of savage and brazen daytime assault. Mason, who was dressed in offcial Bulldogs attire at the time of the alleged assault is rumoured to be about to be hit with numerous multiple charges, including assault occasioning actual bodily harm, grand larceny, grand theft auto, fraud, high range drink driving, possession of a commercial quantity of narcotics, polygamy, monogamy, perjury, and perverting the course of justice - all stemming from an incident that is alleged to have occurred in the suburban Sydney suburb of Homebush Bay almost 3 weeks ago.
A 25 year old Maroubra male was alleged to have been taking his football out for a quiet Sunday afternoon walk, when Mason 'appeared out of nowhere and with no provocation whatsoever' knocked him brutally to the ground. "I didn't even see him coming!" stated the claimant, a Mr. Braith Anasta of Maroubra. "One minute I was just strolling along, happily cradling my football - and the next, BANG! I was sat flat on my backside with the wind knocked out of me! I didn't see him coming, and I didn't even do anything! In fact - I haven't even done anything all year long - just ask my teammates! It's just so not fair!" Mr. Anasta said, before bursting into tears and having to be consoled by an unidentified male friend in a mini-skirt.
A representative for the Bulldogs would only offer the following angry and typical denial when contacted by our journalists today: "Eh? What? That was a footy game and Willie was just making a tackle you idiot! That was at Telstra Stadium the week we beat the Roosters 25-0. Look, who is this, and how did you get this number?! If that's you again Danny Weidler, you'll be hearing from our solicitors first thing tomorrow!" before refusing any further comment and hanging up.
Mr. Mason himself was unavailable for comment, as his manager claimed he was away on business, holding up the Bankstown Westpac branch with a sawn-off shotgun at the time.
p 25 Editorial: Bulldogs players - should they all be lined up and summarily shot on the spot? We say - YES!
