Not sure why me not agreeing with you should put you on tilt. I'm not condoning anyone's behavior. All I am an doing is keeping an open mind about outcomes. Why does that upset you ?
Nah. I'm not on tilt. And I'm not upset. At least, not with you. I get a bit upset at the imbalance we have nowadays when it comes to viewing 'domestic violence', though. You know, the generic "he's a monster/she's an innocent victim" stance. Don't get me wrong; I know there are circumstances when men (and sometimes women) can behave in a totally controlling, manipulative, violent, and almost psychopathic way. They completely terrorise, victimise, squeeze the life out of their partners. and sometimes systematically beat the shit out of them, dehumanise them. Destroy them. They are complete arseholes in my opinion. BUT they do not represent ALL cases of domestic violence.
I currently work in an area that deals with families where there is mental illness, drug and alcohol issues and domestic violence, as well as DOCS (FaCS, DCJ) intervention. And, yes, we have cases that fit the 'psychopathic arsehole male' model. In these cases, you feel like the only real solution would be to go out and shoot the merkin. But more often, it's far more complex and complicated. There are women who are the instigators of physical violence. Or emotional violence. Or extreme forms of mental and emotional abuse. And humiliation. And goading. And sometimes the male resorts to physical violence. And guess what? She's then classed as the victim, even though her particular form of abuse may have gone on for far longer than his. I've seen such cases.
To say that there is absolutely no excuse for violence no matter what the situation, is a naïve position to take. I think that, except when one of the partners displays psychopathic behaviours, the responsibility for a violence-free relationship should rest equally with both parties. It's not just a man's problem (as the ads suggest). Nor is it just a woman's problem. Both partners need to be responsible for keeping themselves and each other safe in a relationship. Otherwise we will never find a solution to this f**king awful problem of family violence. End of rant.
