Non Footy Chat Thread II

[Twizzle]

well that was shit

 

[The Silverdale Phantom]

well that was shit

Gary and I are already preparing for our prime time spots.

I’m going to do the 7pm editorials on the dangers of rugby league.

Gronky will get to do the Oscar Wilde infomercials.

 

[emjaycee]

Gary and I are already preparing for our prime time spots.

I’m going to do the 7pm editorials on the dangers of rugby league.

Gronky will get to do the Oscar Wilde infomercials.

My speciality is game day ditties so I only work during the season.
Here are a couple of examples from Season 2022 - these are written at the game, in the minutes before kickoff.

I caught a plane and caught a train but didnt catch a bus,
I'm an Eels fan at Suncorp and there are lots of us.
Let's hope the ref ref's both teams fairly and leaves the players to decide,
Which team will be the winner and start their semi's ride.
Because who ever wins tonight between the Broncos and Eels,
Will go into the last round with a top 8 spot already sealed.

A loss and we rely on the Raiders to lose,
And thats not a position any team would want to choose.
So we need to turn up, and turn on for the fight,
I just hope they decide to play their best football tonight.
Cause we know they have the skill and can certainly get the win,
And if they do then you wont be able to clear my face of the big grin.

So here i am at Brookvale Oval
I havent been here for years,
In fact the last 3 times I've been,
The trip home included tears.

We know Manly dont like rainbows,
Maybe they dont like Unicorns as well,
And hopefully they dont like playing the Eels,
Though only time will tell.

With 5 rounds to go
we definitely need to keep on winning,
Win one or two we make the 8,
3 more and I'll be grinning.

Brookie is called a hole of a ground,
And I understand the reason why,
The only thing we'll see up close is Sivo score some tries.

So here we go, its game time soon,
Let's hope we get the win.
Or once again the trip back west, will be mighty, bloody, grim.

 

[The Silverdale Phantom]

My speciality is game day ditties so I only work during the season.
Here are a couple of examples from Season 2022 - these are written at the game, in the minutes before kickoff.

Very moving.

You’ve got sports and your own late night variety show.

 

[The Silverdale Phantom]

We still require a Mod to answer to and represent us at a Senate Inquiry.

Let’s see, we need someone that nobody listens to, someone who is asleep at the wheel, whose forum is full of radicals and scoundrels, a place of complete kaos, and a person who just takes out a few posters every now and then to keep LU command happy so gets his Xmas bonus.

Mmm…which mod here ticks these boxes?

Theres only one choice.

I’ll draft up the offer to our beloved Socky tomorrow.

@soc123_au

 

[The Silverdale Phantom]

 

[Gronk]

South Africa just beat All Blacks in Rugby World Cup final.

How embarrassement. ABs need to stop flexing that they are the Mohammed Ali’s of rugby.

 

[84 Baby]

While 84 baby's wisdom made the club's poems glow.

Gary's wisdom shines,
Every word he speaks is right,
Correct in all ways.

 

[emjaycee]

84Baby does,
write poems like no other,
quality within.

 

[hineyrulz]

My cats breath smells like cat food.

 

[parra pete]

There was a young lady named Nelly,
She went into the river,
And the water went up to her knees...
The reason why it doesn't rhyme
Is because where she went into the river
It wasn't deep enough.....

 

[hineyrulz]

There was a young lady named Nelly,
She went into the river,
And the water went up to her knees...
The reason why it doesn't rhyme
Is because where she went into the river
It wasn't deep enough.....

Nelly rhymes with Smelly ffs!! There’s a start.

 

[Gary Gutful]

What an absolute dickbag.

 

[Gary Gutful]

My cats breath smells like cat food.

Hineyrulz and bald cat Brad, a pair quite absurd,
To Chardons Corner, they often stirred.
Brad's cat food breath, a smell in the air,
Hineyrulz's flatulence, beyond compare.

Folks complain about the stench they create,
But these two friends just laugh, it's their fate.
In Chardons Corner, they're an oddball delight,
A pair with a scent, that's truly outta sight.

 

[The Silverdale Phantom]

What an absolute dickbag.

Should be locked up. An American super bogan.

Yet sometimes I think I’m the only person on the road who actually slows down for road workers.

It goes back to a time when I was in zone and old mate stumbled getting into his truck and because I was at 40 I could brake.

Thereafter met with a few cheers and thank you fist pumps from some of the others.

I just gave the thumbs up.

 

[The Silverdale Phantom]

Gary's wisdom shines,
Every word he speaks is right,
Correct in all ways.

Gary glitters up above us
His light does shine so bright
Except in certain matters
Such as basic reptile rights.

His Bogan Hotel is almost ready
Where we can stay a week
And capture yobs in their element
wild and free, the freaks

Yonder up to national park
Total fire ban all around
But Its not a rule for Bogan
The bbq sizzles, sultry sound.

Off to the pig and Whistle
With armour on our person
Guaranteed fight with locals
After conversation:

“f**k you plant worshipping moofs
And the electric car you drive
Stupid wokey commie pricks
Suck on this black eye”

And if you don’t see a Bogan on your tour, Gary has a mate who will pretend to drive into the tour bus on the way to the airport in his grubby 88 HiLux.

So the tourists never leave disappointed and Gary can respond in the google reviews when they complain.

 

[The Silverdale Phantom]

Google Review:

Gary’s natural wilderness Bogan Tours

2 stars:

Janet:

The lentil croissants hadn’t been boiled properly, our tent had a peep hole in the back. I heard scuffling noises and groans that were overwhelming my tape recordings of Santa Anna winds circa 1979. A disgrace. I thought I saw a horrible bloodshot eye at one point, blinking away excitedly.

We didn’t see a real Bogan. Waste of money. I’m going to consumer affairs.

Gary responds

You f**king bitch, of course, you didn’t leave your tent for a week meditating.

There was a real bogan on the way to the airport but you missed it as you were playing your Tibetan crossword.

Suck a ……………

 

[Poupou Escobar]

South Africa just beat All Blacks in Rugby World Cup final.

My Kiwi missus hates the Springboks ever since Morgan Freeman poisoned Matt Damon and the boys on the eve of the 1995 final.

 

[Gary Gutful]

He suffered from a gastrointestinal perforation, the actor had actually spent weeks fighting for his life after his colon burst from opioid overuse. He spent two weeks in a coma and five months in the hospital and had to use a colostomy bag for nine months.

When he was first admitted to the hospital, "the doctors told my family that I had a 2 percent chance to live," he recalls. "I was put on a thing called an ECMO machine, which does all the breathing for your heart and your lungs. And that's called a Hail Mary. No one survives that."

Matthew Perry Opens Up About His Addiction Journey with a New Memoir: 'I'm Grateful to Be Alive'

Friends star Matthew Perry opens up about his addiction journey that nearly killed him and his new memoir, Friends, Lovers and the Big Terrible Thing

people.com

 

[hindy111]

He suffered from a gastrointestinal perforation, the actor had actually spent weeks fighting for his life after his colon burst from opioid overuse. He spent two weeks in a coma and five months in the hospital and had to use a colostomy bag for nine months.

When he was first admitted to the hospital, "the doctors told my family that I had a 2 percent chance to live," he recalls. "I was put on a thing called an ECMO machine, which does all the breathing for your heart and your lungs. And that's called a Hail Mary. No one survives that."

Matthew Perry Opens Up About His Addiction Journey with a New Memoir: 'I'm Grateful to Be Alive'

Friends star Matthew Perry opens up about his addiction journey that nearly killed him and his new memoir, Friends, Lovers and the Big Terrible Thing

people.com

Drugs