This an outrage. I will need to search for allies.
EDIT: Thank you Rich Cooper.
Crispy bacon is a crime against deliciousness
Please, stop the madness.
I believe in freedom. The freedom to speak, to love, to be. The beauty of our lives is that we can live as we choose, without fear or infringement. We have a duty to accommodate our fellow man, to treat others as we ourselves would like to be treated. To abide. We’re free to have our own opinions, to express them freely and for that freedom to be respected. I try to take everything in my stride, to respect the diversity of opinion, but there is one thing that I simply cannot abide.
Crispy bacon.
Not just well-cooked bacon,
crispy bacon. Bacon that is crisp, bacon that actually resembles a crisp. Bacon that has made the transition from fridge to Frazzle. This, my friends, is no longer bacon. Once upon a time it was, but what was delicious and flavoursome is now brittle and sharp. You have killed this bacon.
I can already sense the Pro-Crispers gathering their pitchforks and practising their rallying cries, ‘
Chewy chewy, no no, bacon we shall fry! Chewy chewy, no no, crispy 'til we die!’ And while that is a catchy, convincing and award-winning chant (you wait and see), it is a nonsense. To you, Pro-Crispers, I say this: bacon should not snap. It should not crack. It should not crumble. If that’s what you’re after, I direct you to the Pizza Hut salad bar, where you may stuff your face with as many bacon bits as you can.
Bacon is a glorious thing and deserves respect in cooking as much as eating. From my time spent among Pro-Crispers it seems as though a primary motive for destroying such sweet deliciousness is an aversion to bacon fat. The best kind of fat. Presumably they have not heard the phrase ‘fat is flavour’, and so decide to cremate the bacon in order to destroy the best part of it. This is not only unnecessary, it’s actively depressing. Stop it, please. Please stop it.
When asserting my distaste for crispy bacon, the response volleyed back tends to be ‘Ew, so you like chewy bacon?’ Not at all. I like bacon. Properly cooked bacon. Bacon that doesn’t turn to dust in my mouth. Granted, there is a fine line to tread - I acknowledge that a little crispness is requisite, just enough to curl the edges and put a bit of brown on the bacon - but this does not excuse the appalling acts being committed against our bacon.
Maybe you like the taste, heaven help you if you like the texture. These things can be understood but simply can’t be condoned by any rational human being. Why you want a mouthful of dry, crumbly, brittle, former bacon is a mystery to me, but I feel as though we owe it to the life of the pig to do justice by its produce. Don’t burn your bacon, don’t crisp it into oblivion, please. Forgive them, piggy, they know not what they do.
http://www.hexjam.com/uk/food-drink/crispy-bacon-is-a-crime-against-deliciousness
