Alright, merkins. Here's your bloody break-down!
Town
Parra Pride was Alf Stewart, Town Aligned Tourtettes Sufferer.
Stone the f**king flaming f**king androtrop crows! You're Alf 'f**king' Stewart! You're a foul-mouthed mother-f**ker! You need to post obscenities in every one of your posts or you'll f**king die!
Of course, that's not your sole ability. That'd be just mean. You also have the below:
– Scary merkin: Your foul mouth means you'll scare off the first person to target you each night. Watch that fairy f**k run away! What a merkin!
– Poor Ailsa: You loved that dried up old mole. And somebody took her away from you. If anybody mentions Ailsa (or Martha, for that matter) in the thread, you gain the ability to make a night kill that night. But don't tell anybody – or you'll f**king off yourself because you're an emotional merkin.
You win when all threats to the town (and filthy f**king immigrants) are dead.
Parra Pride survived more than one (it may have even been three) murder attempts by virtue of his 'Scary merkin' rule, but never did get to trigger his much more fun 'Poor Ailsa' rule. Ended up dying due to being seen in his rape dungeon. Poor guy.
Dragon2010 was the Horny Kiwi Chick, Town Aligned Girl Who f**ked Misanthrope.
You've been to heaven and it's been hard coming down from the dizzying highs of sex with Misanthrope. But you're not going to let that get you down! Far from it, you're going to f**k your way to the top and hopefully one day find something that compares to the toe-curling ecstacy you once new.
– Horny: You can choose somebody to sleep with each night. That player cannot act that night as they're caught in the throes of passion. You'll also learn their name (but not their alignment) in the resulting pillow talk.
– CWB likes me: You cannot be lynched. You slept with the guy in charge.
– Hot Lesbian Action: If you manage to sleep with a female character, you get an added bonus. Not only do you role-block them and learn their name, you can also activate one of the following abilities to use in addition to your regular power the following night:
* Hatef**k: You'll kill the person you target.
* Orgy: Your vote counts for three (3) the next time you vote.
* Happy Ending: You go the extra mile and learn the complete identity of the person you target the next night.
You win when all threats to the town are eliminated. Of course, you f**ked Misanthrope – so you've already won.
I had a lot of fun making up this role, which is based on an ex of mine that gained some notoriety when I was still writing in my stupid Misanthrope's Significant Others thread. I was muuy upset when Robert the Tire killed her.
Never did manage to find a female role (of which there were several), nor did he think to target himself - which would have ended the current night phase and brought on a new day without any other actions.
Parra was Bane, Town Aligned Misunderstood Criminal Mastermind.
After Batman (and Cat Woman – god, what a hot piece of ass she was) beat you down, you had a lot of time to think about what you've done and you've decided to make amends, even if it kills you.
– Burly Protector: Each night you may select a single person to protect. Not only will you protect them from whatever attack comes there way that night – you'll also break the back of the mother-f**ker who tried shit. They'll no longer be able to act aside from casting votes.
– Bad Reputation: If you're investigated, you'll come up as independently aligned. People don't trust a guy who blows up a football stadium.
You win when all threats to the town are eliminated. Or if Batman and Cat Woman are killed, but they aren't in this game, so that's tough shit.
Protected a bunch of people who were never targeted, until Didgi (Blondie) tried to kill KTF (Robert the Tire). This stripped Didgi of all of his powers and essentially eliminated the Pop Star Mafia from the game.
Of course, then that f**king ungrateful tire killed him.
Bulldog Force was Ron Burgundy, Town Aligned 70s Newscaster and Ladies Man who is 'kind of a big deal'.
People know you. You live in a house that smells of rich mahogany and own many leather bound books. You love scotch, steak, and your furry companion, Baxter.
– Baxter: Your faithful miniature Buddha with hair is with you at all times. The first time you are targeted to be killed, you'll be protected at Baxter's expense.
– That Man Punted Baxter: If Baxter is killed, you'll be filled with rage. The identity of your attacker (and Baxter's killer) will be revealed in thread on the news. You won't even have to do anything!
– Glass Case of Emotion: Each day you may select a player to place in a glass case of emotion. They cannot post or vote that day.
You win when all threats to the town are eliminated. Go f**k yourself, San Diego.
DragonPunk's failed attempt to kill Ron meant his identity was revealed in thread, which rubbed the Super Hero Mafia out of the game.
Not sure why Bulldog Force never placed anybody in a glass case of emotion. I guess because silencing roles are gay.
His death also triggered Brick Tamland's one off night kill ability.
Jason Maher was The Sexy Goat, Town Aligned Hot Piece of Livestock.
You're sexy and IanG knows it. You're just about the sweetest piece of tail on the whole farm, baby.
– You're a goat: You have no power. You're a f**king goat. But don't tell anybody because IanG f**ks goats. If you get f**ked by IanG, you're dead.
You win when all threats to the town are eliminated.
This role was not as shit as it looks. Had IanG managed to find the Sexy Goat, he'd have lost his ability to recruit.
However, the Sexy Goat would have become immune to being killed at night and gained a kill. A pity it never happened.
soc123_au was Sterling Archer, Town Aligned Greatest Spy in the Universe.
You are Sterling Mallory Archer, ISIS Agent, Ladies Man, and World Renowned Secret Agent. You're the town's greatest hope of survival. Each night you may choose one of the following actions to use, but you cannot use the same ability twice in a row.
– Honey Pot: Use your powers of seduction to...uh...seduce and distract another player. That player cannot act tonight, nor can you be killed. Nobody is cool with coitus interruptus.
– RAMPAGE: You may select a player to gun down in cold blood. They're dead.
– Covert Ops: You may select a player to spy on during the night. You'll learn their identity and their alignment.
– Tactical Turtleneck: You cannot be targeted by any ability for that night. You're stealthy.
You win when all threats to the town are eliminated.
One of two 'utility' secret agent roles the town had. The highlight of the game was when both Bond (Frederick) and Archer targeted one another for a night of hot, sexy, gay action. Too bad they died in the process.
He twice attempted rampages (being scared away by Parra Pride and unable to kill the unkillable (at the time) Didgi) and managed to investigate BDR along the way.
MSIH was Tom Waterhouse, Town Aligned Merkin with a Punchable Face.
You'll take bets on anything and you don't care how much people hate you for it. You've got the third most punchable face in the world behind Tim Cahill and Joffrey Lannister.
– Place Your Bets: Each day you may post the names of two players in the game thread as well as odds. The odds don't matter, so make them whatever. If one of those three players is killed in the resulting night, you gain 2 points.
– Punchable Face: Any lynch attempt targeting you requires half the usual amount of votes. You're a hateful merkin.
You win when all threats to the town are eliminated. However, you will be declared sole winner at the end of the game if you've managed to amass ten or more points.
Never did manage to acquire any points by correctly predicting who would be killed on a given night. Died too early.
What I didn't reveal was that at 4, 6, and 8 points he would have unlocked further abilities (investigation, unkillable at night, and a one off night kill respectively). Could have been a fun role.
Frederick was James Bond, Town Aligned Revolving Door Action Hero.
Bond. James Bond. You've had more actors than Justin Bieber has had #1 singles (I think?) and each of them plays a role in this game. Each night you may select a Bond alumni to represent you. You cannot choose the same Bond more than once during the game.
– Pierce Brosnan: You're debonaire and have a wealth of gadgets. You brought the films back from the dead. And tonight you're going to use your considerable charms to gain some intel on another player. PM me their name and you'll learn what they did tonight.
– Sean Connery: You're a bad-ass mo-fo. Anybody who targets you tonight is going to find out you're a tough prospect. You cannot be night-killed tonight and will learn the name of anybody who targets you. You can select this ability again if it isn't triggered.
– Daniel Craig: Being blonde has in no way diminished your awesome power. Select a person to kill tonight and they'll die in a horrible manner.
– Roger Moore: You go alright. Ladies dig you. Choose somebody to sleep with. If they're a female character, you roleblock them and can use this ability again. If they're male, you still roleblock them but it's super awkward. You cannot vote the following day as you're busy washing your genitals.
– Timothy Dalton: You're the worst Bond ever. You're a hateful piece of shit. Everything you touch turns to bomb. Anybody who targets you tonight goes BOOM and dies. You somehow survive while they all die.
– George Lazenby: If you've exhausted all of your other powers, you're stuck being George Lazenby. He's Australian but otherwise uninteresting.
You win when all threats to the town are eliminated.
The other utility secret agent. Bond managed to take out a few people (sensesmaybenumbed and dogslife) with his Timothy Dalton and got a use or two out of his Roger Moore. Sean Connery also kept him alive one night.
A pity he never went Daniel Craig on anybody's ass. He was too busy getting killed while being sodomised by Archer.
9701 was Jesus Christ, Town Aligned Messiah.
You're the real deal – not some cheesy, new age feel good character from a cartoon. You're dark skinned and pious in your devotion to the Lord, God dammit!
– Justice for All: You must vote in every lynch. If you manage to successfully vote in a lynch that kills a threat to the town, you gain the ability to investigate a single player the following night.
– And on the third day...: If you're killed at night or by lynch, you'll be 'resurrected' the following day. You will gain the ability to investigate three players – learning their alignment and their role name. However, after this 'bonus day' you'll die for good. Choose wisely, O Lord!
You win when all threats to the town are eliminated.
Didn't get very lucky when two of his three investigations turned up scum who had died overnight. Could have been a game-breaker had he been lynched earlier or chosen different people.
sensesmaybenumbed was Harrison Ford, Town Aligned Grizzled Action Hero.
Forget James Bond – you're the original action hero. You've played archeological adventurers, bad-ass space captains, replicant hating future cops, and tough as nails wealthy land-owners. And you're going to use each and every one of your considerable talents to save the town's ass.
Each night you may select one of the following roles to adopt. You can adopt each role only once unless otherwise specified.
– Indiana Jones: Using your archaeological sleuthing skills, you're able to unearth a little something about another player. PM me their name and I'll PM you either their last PM to me or my last PM to them.
– Hans Solo: You've learned how to employ carbonite! PM me the name of a player and they won't be able to act (or be acted upon) tonight.
– Rick Deckard: You've got a replicant. The next time you are targeted for a night kill, your replicant will die instead. However, the thread will reflect you dying. Under the radar, mother-f**ker! This ability will remain active until it is triggered, but needs to be triggered to work.
– Dr. Richard Kimble: You use your mad doctoring skills to bring a player back from the dead! They aren't quite right though – they'll be assigned a new role and alignment. It's a crap shoot, baby!
– Colonel Dolarhyde: It's an old fashioned posse, baby! Round up a few of your cowboy friends and we're gonna hang us a nig.. uh... bad guy. You may end the current lynch phase and lynch a person of your choosing.
You win when all threats to the town are defeated.
Another utility role that had mixed success. Rick Deckard kept him alive, he used his Indiana Jones on Bazzi (a scummer), and encased Dutchy in carbonite the same night he was being protected by Parra Pride.
A pity he never got to activate the potentially game-changing Colonel Dolarhyde or Dr Richard Kimble abilities. Why didn't you resurrect someone, senses? Was killed annoyingly when he targeted Frederick and was caught by his 'bomb'.
whall15 was Captain Mal Reynolds, Town Aligned Captain of the Firefly and Beloved Cult Figure.
You're Captain Mal – best captain in the 'verse and all around awesome guy. Joss Whedon might be your Daddy, but the women of the world adore you. Hell, it's not just the women...
– Beloved Figure: You're so beloved that should you be lynched, you can nominate a single player who voted for you to be torn apart in righteous fury. You're still dead, but 'ain't revenge sweet?
You win when all threats to the town are eliminated.
Got killed at night and brought back, but nobody ever lynched him so he didn't get his cool revenge lynch in. Survived until the end game.
Smiley was Agent 47, Town Aligned Hitman.
You're a man who knows how to solve a problem... for a price. Will your newfound allies be prepared to pay the price?
– Hit: Each night you may PM me the name of a player. I will approach them on your behalf and see if they'd like to make a hit. If they decide to kill somebody, the kill will be carried out by you. They cannot have you target yourself and will not learn your identity.
– Contract: Your services do not come without a fee. Anybody who chooses to have a hit carried out by you will receive two votes during the lynch phase the following day. If they use your services a second time, they'll receive an additional two votes (for a total of four). They will not learn (from me) why these votes are there, nor will they be tied to you.
– Go into business for yourself: You can, of course, opt to make a hit of your own. However, if you do so, the 'Contract' penalty votes still apply to you.
You win when all threats to the town are eliminated.
Nobody ever did take him up on his contract offer, but he went into business for himself one night to take out afinalsin666. That turned out to be pretty vital for the town, given afinalsin's ability.
SGLC was Walter Sobchak, Fat f**k Who Likes to Bowl.
You're a cult hero and one hell of a bowler. You're also pretty bad-ass. You can use any of the below powers, but not on consecutive nights.
– STRIKE! You may choose a player to beat to death with a bowling ball. Said beating results in death. You can use this power more than once.
– 7-10 Split: It's a tough shot, but you're going to land it. PM me the names of two players. They're the only players that can be voted for tomorrow. You may only use this power once.
– Gutter Ball: Nominate a player. Their power will not only fail to affect the target they chose tonight – it will actually affect them instead! You may use this power more than once.
You win when all threats to the town are eliminated.
Tried to kill Parra Pride, reversed butch's passive power on him, killed Jesus, and then - in a stroke of genius - had Monk (Justin Bieber) song bomb himself. This killed Monk, thorson1987 (Ron Jeremy), Bazzi (The Overlook Hotel), and BDR (Rebecca Black).
Taking out three mafia and an independent with one action? Pretty f**king epic.
Dutchy was Mat Cauthon, Town Aligned Ta'avaren.
You bend fate and chance and make the world work for you. Unfortunately, things inside this house have gone a little awry.
– Bend Chance: Each night you may PM me the name of another player. One of the below abilities will affect them at random:
* Protect
* Roleblock
* Kill
* Investigate
* Give them the ability to make a kill
* Kidnap (They cannot vote or be voted for tomorrow)
* Player will avoid their next lynch or kill
* The player starts the next day requiring half the votes needed to lynch somebody
* Randomly bring back to life a previously deceased player (does not affect your target)
* Hide (You avoid all night actions and cannot be voted for tomorrow)
You win when all threats to the town are eliminated.
Had the hidden one off lynch protection that kept Dutchy alive and revealed his identity. He then was recruited by the Cult of G.O.A.T.
His random abilities didn't work as he'd liked. He kidnapped somebody, hid, and brought two players back from the dead. And halved the number of votes Didgi needed to be lynched.
Drew-Sta was Brick Tamland, Idiotic Weatherman.
You're a bumbling weatherman with a heart of gold. Nobody could hurt you.
– Lovable: You cannot be killed at night. Any attempt not only fails, but the person feels so bad for attempting it that they cannot vote the following day and any votes for them will count for double.
– Kill a guy with a trident: If Ron Burgundy dies, you gain the ability to make a single night kill the very next night. You go into hiding afterwards, meaning you can't be targeted that night or be voted for the following day.
You win when all threats to the town are eliminated.
Got lucky by killing DB (independent Jay Cartwright) with his one off kill, and then made one of the biggest balls ups in mafia history by voting with the proven cult member to end the game.
afinalsin666 was Earl Sneed Sinclair, Town Aligned Sitcom Dinosaur.
You're a largely forgotten dinosaur from a largely forgotten sitcom, but you've come to terms with it. At least you don't have to deal with that stupid f**king baby anymore.
– Forgotten: You cannot be voted for during lynches. Any votes for you will instead be passed on to random players.
– Extinction Event: At any point during the game, you may opt to remove your lynch protection. From this point onward, if you're lynched – there is a 75% chance that anybody who voted for you that day will also die. Hahahahaha!
You win when all threats to the town are eliminated. Alternatively, you'll be the sole winner if you manage to take out an entire enemy faction (not independent) with your explosive demise.
The moment afinalsin666 PMed me on night one to say he was activating Extinction Event, I realized how f**king dangerous this role was. Had he been voted out on Day #1 or Day #2, he could have taken out the vast majority of the players.
Broken role is broken. Thank God Smiley took him out.
Cliffhanger was Kevin McAllister, Town Aligned Kid Left Home Alone.
Your family left for the big Christmas vacation trip and left you in their HOUSE. BY YOURSELF. Oh, I mean HOME. ALONE. Burglars keep trying to mess with your shit, but luckily you have all the necessary tools to crack open their skulls and set their very flesh ablaze.
- It's a trap: Accordingly, if anyone targets you at night, there is a chance they will get caught in some manner of hilarious and horrifying homemade booby trap, thus making their action fail and their vote worthless the next day. They'll also be caught in an awkward situation and everybody will know about it.
You win when all threats to the town have been eliminated.
Was unfortunate to be targeted by the (unblockable) kill of Thor. Didn't get to contribute anything else.
Gas Panic was JD from Scrubs, Lovable Protagonist.
You're John Dorian, the lovable (?) star of Scrubs and an all around nice guy and hopeless romantic. You also are responsible for the dismal last season of Scrubs, but we'll let that slide.
– Narrate: Every one of your posts must be a narration in the style of JD. You must tell us your thoughts and feelings as you post. If you don't, you'll get punished.
– Jump the Shark: We all wish that last season had never happened. You've got a chance to redeem yourself. Once during the game you may cancel the most recent season (night or day). We'll rewind the clock and undo all previous actions. Anybody killed during that phase is back to life and all other changes are reversed. Pretty sweet, eh?
You win when all threats to the town are eliminated.
His post restriction was pretty geniused. I don't think he ever posted in game.
But his 'Jump the Shark' could have been a game changer had he ever opted to use it. What gives, GP?
Apey was Steve Stifler, Town Aligned Boastful Jock.
You're the Stiffmeister: a party animal and Lacrosse legend. You're kind of a big deal in your home town too.
– Kind of a big deal: Your vote counts double in the game thread. Go you.
– Party!!!: You throw a kick-ass party and everybody is invited. Except for one f**king loser. Everybody in the game is unable to act tonight as they're having a raging good time. Except for one player you nominate – they can still act because they're not cool enough to be invited. You may only use this power once.
– Hangover: One any night you don't throw a party you can instead get good and drunk with a single person. That person cannot act that night or the following day. You'll also be able to ask me one yes or no question about them.
You win when all threats to the town are eliminated.
Was a night one casualty and was only able to ask if AlwaysGreen was town (which he was). Had he lived to share the news, Drew-Sta's final day decision might have been a bit easier.
In hindsight, he should have just thrown a party...
AlwaysGreen was Jay and Silent Bob, Town Aligned Comedic Duo.
You're two people. That's pretty bloody confusing. Each day you change which role is active. You start as Jay and become Silent Bob the following day.
– Silent Bob: You quiet fat f**k. You cannot vote. In fact, you cannot post in the thread at all. That being sad, at night you're remarkably durable. You are unkillable at night while you are Silent Bob and get the ability to make a night kill.
– Jay: You loud mouthed porch monkey! Your vote counts triple, but you must post in the game thread.
– Two dudes: You're two guys. You can die once and still survive. Whichever character you are when you die is gone and you become the other player permanently.
You win when all threats to the town are eliminated.
Very nearly the town MVP and hero. His triple vote ended a few people's lives and his Silent Bob kill took out Didgi. Unfortunately, people misinterpreted my write-up as him being bad when (I thought) he just sounded like Jay.
His 'two lives' thing only applied to night kills.
