Rnd 3: 4 NATIONS 2010: Kangaroos v Kiwis

[Willow]

Forum 7s - 4 NATIONS - 2010AUSTRALIA KANGAROOS V NEW ZEALAND KIWIS

-v-

Non Terminator (c)----Jesbass (c)​

Game Thread:
* Please note - This is a game thread only, therefore only game posts can be made here (Teams, Articles).
* Any other posts may result in loss of points and is at the discretion of the referee
* Only original articles, not used in previous games, will be marked by referees.​

Naming Teams (F7s 4 Nations conditions):
* 3v3 (+ 4 reserves for each team)
* No 'TBA' or changing players named
* Captains must stick with original teams named​

FULL TIME: Saturday 13 November 2010 at 9pm (Syd time)​

REFEREE: gorilla
Venue: ANZ Stadium​

**The Referee Blows Game On!**

CLICK HERE FOR OFFICIAL WORD COUNTER​

 

[Jesbass]

The Kiwis are unleashed, charging out of the clubrooms and breathing fire onto the Kangaroos...

-----------------------------------
Team:
LeagueNut
rayroxon
RHCP (debut)

Bench:
Jesbass (c)
madunit
-----------------------------------

Ringa pakia
Uma tiraha
Turi whatia
Hope whai ake
Waewae takahia kia kino

Ka mate, ka mate
Ka ora' Ka ora'
Ka mate, ka mate
Ka ora Ka ora
Tēnei te tangata pūhuruhuru
Nāna i tiki mai whakawhiti te rā
Upane... Upane
Upane Kaupane
Whiti te rā
Hī!

 

[Non Terminator]

Australians, let us all rejoice.

Starting
Non Terminator (c)
Azkatro
DragonPunk
Bench
Timmah
Griffo346
Dubopov

 

[Jesbass]

Following an all-in brawl after the haka, rayroxon is all puffed out. Captain Jesbass gives him an asthma inhaler and sends for a replacement.

OFF: rayroxon #-o
ON: madunit \\\\/

 

[RHCP]

RHCP makes his debut in the black and white, collecting the loose ball and charging at the defensive line

----

Nightmare On Castlemaine Street

The previously raucous crowd fall to a delicate murmur as he lines it up. Each footstep bellows out an almighty thud as he gains momentum, striking the ball with all of his power. As if guided by these unseen ‘football gods’ that Phil Gould has told us so much about, the ball soars through the air and directly over the black dot, Benji Marshall adding another two to his tally of points. Darren Lockyer looks up at the scoreboard and winces in pain and disbelief. Next to New Zealand sits 28, whilst Australia are yet to register a single point. The captain turns around to see his deputy Cameron Smith calling his name: “Locky! Locky! Locky!”

Darren wakes up with a jolt to see his room mate Cameron Smith lurched over him, yelling “Locky” over and over.

“What’s going on?” mumbles Darren as he sits up.

“You were having another fit,” explains Smith as he sits alongside his inspirational leader.

“It was that same nightmare, where we play the K…K…K…’ croaks Lockyer like the cane toads of his home state.

“Shh, you don’t have to say it,” Smith interrupts, comforting his good friend.

Suddenly, the door comes slamming down and in runs Sam Thaiday, third man in as always. He rushes over with vigour and slams himself alongside Smith and Lockyer, knocking Darren’s dentures to the floor of the hotel room in the process.

“Is everything alright?” bellows Thaiday.“I heard somebody yelling.”

“Darren was having his nightmare again,” replies Smith.“I don’t know if he’ll be up for the final.”

Twenty minutes and a box of tissues later…

The maroon trio of Lockyer, Smith and Thaiday knock on the door of Tim Sheens. Much to their surprise, the door is opened by Lote Tuqiri.

“Is Tim still up?” asks Lockyer sheepishly, embarrassed by his Kiwiphobic predicament.

Tuqiri nods and staggers off back to his own bed as Thaiday, Lockyer and Smith approach the bed of Tim Sheens.

“No Fitzy, you hang up first,” whispers Tim Sheens playfully as he fiddles with the phone cord, unaware of the presence of his three superstars. With a girlish giggle he spurts, “No, YOU hang up first!”

“Ahem, Tim…” announces Smith, which immediately jolts Tim out of his flirtatious conversation.

“Err…umm…so yes, I’ll hang up first,” babbles Sheens, before promptly hanging up the phone and changing the subject.

“What brings you boys here? You could’ve caught me at a bad time this late,” questions Sheens, as Darren Lockyer steps forward.

“Tim, I don’t think I can take on the K…K…K…’ says Lockyer, his gravely voice caving in as he tries to pronounce Kiwi.

“Still a little worried are you, Locky?” asks Sheens in a fatherly manner.

With a rather shameful frown upon his face Lockyer nods, looking worried about what the reaction of his coach will be.

“Don’t fret, Darren. I had a feeling something like this would happen,” says Sheens in a comforting tone.

Sixteen hours and one deep and meaningful conversation later…

“Dude, check this out,” chuckles David Shillington, showing Tom Learoyd-Lahrs something on his mobile phone.

Learoyd-Lahrs erupts with laughter, prompting the rest of the room to stare with curiosity.

“This is going to be hilarious,” Shillington says gleefully, before hitting ‘Send to all’.

Shillington now begins to pay attention as he and the rest of the Four Nations squad sit in a semi-circle, eagerly awaiting the announcement of the team for the Four Nations final. Sheens runs through the numbers 1 through 5, before inexplicably skipping 6 and beginning to work his way from 7 through to 13.

“14. Kurt Gidley,” proclaims Sheens, which leads to a collective groan from the rest of the squad as Gidley fist pumps the air.

“15. Robbie Farah,” proclaims Sheens next, Farah blowing a kiss to his club and national coach.

Sheens names numbers 16 and 17 then ends his announcement, the room of footballers rather bemused by no naming of a five-eighth.

“I’m sure you’re all wondering about number 6,” says Sheens with a gleam in his eye. “Unfortunately, Darren Lockyer will be unable to lead you out onto the park next week due to an acute fear of birds, like last week. But do not fear because I have found a more superior replacement.”

Todd Carney begins to stand up but is cut off by Sheens.

“Not you, Todd,” grumbles Sheens. “Come in! Let me present to you your number 6 for Australia…

Daniel Fitzhenry!”

----

 

[LeagueNut]

LeagueNut - Kiwis

oOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoO

McCoy

This is a story about Richard.

Richard is an up-and-coming young reporter for a respected Rugby League publication. He’s done his study, paid his dues and was ready to get out amongst the clubs and the fans.

His first solo assignment sounded pretty straight forward. He was sent out to visit a few Sydney clubs, trying to uncover the background “unsung heroes” who are often the heart and soul behind the scenes. “There’s one at every club” he’d been told, “so get out there and write about them”.

It was going to be a bit of a fluffy piece, but Richard was just happy to be out on his own – and he knew he’d get to the good stuff later on.

So Richard rocked up to the Panthers, and after a few questions, he was directed towards an old man working in the gear shed.

The old man looked up with suspicious eyes. “The names McCoy” he said.

“And what do you do here, Mr McCoy?”

“I’m a Cone Stacker”

“Interesting – what does a Cone Stacker do?”

“Well, you know those little orange cones? They need me to place them out on the field before they start their training, and then stack them up in the corner once they’re done. It’s a great job you know, it’s a really important part of the daily routine. That’s a Cone Stacker!”

Richard duly recorded everything the old man said, but couldn’t help feeling he was short a few of his marbles.

His next stop was the Eels. Once again, the club secretary directed him towards the gear shed.

“The names McCoy” said the old man inside.

“Wow – are you any relation to the McCoy at the Panthers?”

“Yep – he’s my brother”

“And what do you do here, Mr McCoy?”

“I’m a Sock Tucker”

“Really? What does a Sock Tucker do?”

“Quite simple young man – I take the socks once they’re washed and dried, and tuck them up before the boys need them. Everyone likes their socks tucked a certain way, and I’m here to make sure it happens. The boys just can’t live without their perfectly tucked socks. A Sock Tucker!”

Richard’s next stop was the Bulldogs. This time he bypassed the secretary and headed straight for the training grounds, where he found an old man rustling around with a bag of old footy boots.

“Hello – do you work here?”

“The names McCoy”

“Really? Are you any relation to the other McCoys at the Panthers and the Eels?”

“Yep, they’re my brothers”

“And what do you do here, Mr McCoy?”

“I’m a Cork Soaker”

“OK, and what does a Cork Soaker do?”

“Well, you see, we’ve found that old corks work really well to help us treat foot injuries. We just cut up pieces of cork, soak it in this barrel of medicine, and push it into the players boots – they’ll be right as rain in no time. I’m no doctor, I dunno how it works, but the team swears by it so that’ll do me. That’s a Cork Soaker!”

Finally Richard was off to the Roosters. He talked his way past the secretary and headed straight for the gear room – but this time, he found everything neatly tidied and put away. He ventured out to the training grounds, but there wasn’t another soul in sight. Even the training grounds looked pristine, almost untouched, with a hint of lavender fragrance in the air.

As he turned to head for the exit, he spotted a young chap tending to a garden at the side of the building.

Richard couldn’t believe his eyes. As he walked closer, he noticed a name badge on the gardeners shirt – “McCoy”

“That’s amazing” he said. “I’ve been to three different clubs and met three different McCoys”

“One was a Cone Stacker, one was a Sock Tucker, and one was a Cork Soaker. So what do you do here?”

The gardener stood up and proudly announced in his best Oxford Street accent…

“Darling, I’m the real McCoy”

oOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoO

669 words in the official counter. Inspiration taken from here. GO THE KIWIS!!

 

[Non Terminator]

Don't know where the f*ck the other Australians are, but I've never missed a match and I won't miss this one for the world. 743 OWC.

Hardened Definition

I cannot believe how much I am hearing people complain about the Four Nations final not being shown in High Definition television. Complaints (and many of them) have been made against Channel Nine about the game only being shown in Standard Definition. So I ask this, and really ask this. It's live on television, why should you really give a sh*t?

The standard of how we watch our Rugby League, why should we care? There were plenty of people who watched the excitement of the 2009 Pacific Cup. Does anybody remember how that looked on the internet? Blurry as all hell. Sometimes it was even difficult to see what number the player with the ball had on his back. Yet, I still didn't hear anybody complain about it. They were witnessing some enjoyable Rugby League. Attacking brilliance, strong defence, why should we even notice the quality of the game (considering it was being shown live and free on the internet...legally). Hell, if I had to choose between watching a game live and blurry, as compared to delayed, with 3D imaging using state of the art technology, I would proudly choose the former. I had the option of paying $30 to watch the 2010 National Rugby League Grand Final at the cinemas in 3D recently, yet, how different is that really to watching it in the comfort of my own house with my sh*thouse 20 year old television. Not owning a High Definition television is a rarity in itself (yet, admittedly, I would like to own one). Yet my enjoyment of the game wasn't any lower than that of someone who watched it with a $4,000 television.

Some of the greatest moments of the sport revolved around the game being shown in black and white. It was sometimes difficult to pick the two different jerseys apart, but we got to see the legends in the flesh (...behind a screen). Sometimes the sound quality would be so bad, it would sound like the referee's whistle was broken and screaming directly into your ear. Sometimes the picture was fuzzy, and a great tackle may have been shown less effectively. Yet, a piece of Rugby League history was being shown. So, what is there to complain about, every moment in the game is a part of the proud history it entails. It amazes me that an insane amount of complaining would be revolving around a game being shown in Standard Definition.

Let's go back in time once more. What about those Rugby League diehards who existed long before I was even born? Maybe they couldn't afford television at the time. Hell, maybe television wasn't even around. They had to listen to the coverage (that admittedly still beats the current New Zealand commentary team) instead of hearing it. There obviously isn't much atmosphere when listening to a game. I once heard the words, "and Scott Sattler drags Todd Byrne over the sideline". Was a sh*tload more effective watching it (more painful too mind you). Yet, they loved it. My grandfather told me so many of his precious memories just sitting there in the sun, listening to his game. Yes, they were still able to witness historical moments in the game, and they never complained.

So, I ask again, why should we really give much of a sh*t whether the Four Nations final will be shown in High Definition or not? Why focus on that, when thirty-four brawns and two brains (if you wish, Wayne Bennett can count as half a brain despite the fact he isn't even coaching the game) will be playing for pride, with plenty of passion, with everything to play for. Everything to gain, even more to lose.

You don't need a High Definition television to see passion in a tackle, a try, or even the haka. Who cares if Isaac Luke's tongue is fuzzy? (Actually, don't really want to know the answer)

One last note. To all those who, in the last week, complained about:

a) The Four Nations final not being shown in High Definition.
b) The Four Nations final not being available in state of the art 3D.
c) Only being able to listen to the match on the radio (for the possibility that television coverage is not available at the time).

Harden the f*ck up, forget about it and just enjoy witnessing yet another amazing moment in the history of our sport.

 

[madunit]

madunit for the Kiwi's

The Prophet has spoken

Back in the sixteenth century the worlds greatest prophet reigned. His name was Nostradamus.

He had the uncanny knack of foretelling the future. Sometimes with amazing accuracy, other times with a little too much vagueness. But his abilities proved to be, well quite prophetic.

Some of his great prophecies unveiled the rise of Hitler, Napoleon Bonaparte, the Great London Fires and many many more.

However some of his greatest prophecies have yet to be fulfilled. I have spent many years going through these and have found that many were actually related to something much closer to home than we first thought.

In Two and a pair a god will walk amongst men,
His dominance will be undermined by those near,
His land will regale his supremacy,
But woe his people.

This quatrain speaks of the year 2011 and none other than Paul Gallen’s dominance in “God’s land” which as we all know, is what the residents of the Cronulla-Sutherland shire call their suburb.

Satan will rise again from the depths,
Of whence he was sent prior,
The rivers will run red with retribution,
Disease of the south will subside.

Here, Nostradamus speaks of the rise again of nothing other than the Melbourne Storm. His use of the term Satan is a reference to ‘south’ and the evils that Storm had produced in prior seasons which had besieged them in 2010.

The rich and the battlers will join forces,
For a battle they have not won
For nigh on two score
And will not win for five score more.

In this phrase, Nostradamus speaks clearly about South Sydney, with the battle being a reference to the NRL Premiership. He also predicts they won’t win the premiership for another 100 years.

East and West embrace again,
Marshalled by a man of the people,
Slaying the great fire breathing one,
And seeing the fall of an empire.

One of the rare quatrains by Nostradamus which reveals a name, ‘Marshall’. It speaks of how the Dragons will be toppled by Marshall’s Wests Tigers and possibly even see about the retirement of Tim Sheens.

The power of the East will continue to build,
Public mistrust and lies will besiege them
As it had many times before,
But they will not be denied their glory.

This quatrain is a clear reference to the rise of the Roosters and how they are going to become a long time powerhouse which will again be questioned by everyone about whether it’s legal.

Those men on their noble steeds,
Lead by the greatest and mightiest of all,
With an entire nation behind them,
Will go further than dreamed, still tears.

It appears that this phrase is a clear reference to the Bronco’s who will show their dominance again but will fail to claim the prized NRL Premiership, hence “Still tears” at the end.

Treachery, deceit, lies and crime,
Will all come to end, but the golden child,
He will fall from up high,
And his people will ask why.

Nostradamus appears to have made note of the demons which engulfed the Knights in 2010 and how they will have completely overcome those in 2011, however it appears he sees a public falling out with Kurt Gidley.

Riches and gold spent from boundary to boundary,
The mightiest army ever built,
Sent to take what they once had,
Beseiged at their border by great armies.

The Bulldogs appear to be the focus of this quatrain. It refers to the bulldogs building one of the biggest armies ever, but completely underestimating the power of other teams and fail to achieve any greatness which they believed would be hand delivered to them.

One great man, greater than his own,
Or so it seems, will be brought down by many,
All his equal or better,
His dominance a myth is spread.

In this quatrain, Nostradamus is focussing entirely on Jarryd Hayne, and his apparent fall from grace from those who placed him so highly. It would appear he is brought back to the field in a battle against those who are his equal, possibly in State of Origin.

In the far east, a strong army continues to build,
A powerful force continues to build.
An army hellbent on power,
Power believed they have been denied.

In this final quatrain, Nostradamus speaks of the New Zealand Warriors and their very serious title aspirations.

Will they prove to be as prophetic as his other works.

Only time will tell.

746 words, including title.

 

[Azkatro]

Azkatro for the Kangaroos.

---------------------------------------------------------------

Mosquito bite

Radio personality Madonna King is sick and tired of the NRL.

Whatever will the game do? Evidently, her support of the game was previously one of the most important issues surrounding the game. With every incident involving an NRL player made its way into the headlines, the murmurs started again: "Is this the last straw for Madonna King?"

But time and again she held out. She remained loyal to the game. Maybe it was because loving rugby league in her family was like fish and chips each Friday during lent. That's not something you can shake off easily.

As the unsavoury photograph of Joel Monaghan began adorning thousands of computer screens across the country, Madonna finally caved in. She just couldn't do it anymore. And now, we've lost her.

So until we get this independent commission formed in order to start building a strategic plan for winning back her support for the game, maybe we need to take a look at why this happened. How did we get it all so wrong for Madonna?

According to her, the game of rugby league was well loved by all the family. She doesn't really say exactly when, but sometime in the past, her brothers played the game, Mum cut up the oranges and washed uniforms, while Dad coached a local team. Based on her rough assertion that he was a coach in the days where junior competitions were based on weight and not age, we can assume that this was all during a time when the Internet was still just a military experiment - or perhaps even before that.

It was a time when information came via the television, on radio or in newspapers. In those days, lots of people spoke of "Mad Monday" celebrations with a wry grin. Stories would go around like Chinese whispers about what might have gone on. Even over-protective mums who overheard might just say "boys will be boys."

Not many would disagree with me if I suggested that Joel Monaghan, had he placed himself in the compromising position he did in those days, would be still going about his business as usual. His problem is that since then, two things have changed significantly. One is that it's easy and costs nothing to take photos. Two is that it's easy and costs nothing to distribute them to a limitless audience. So it's possibly these two factors that have cost rugby league the support of Madonna King. We can assume something similar happened back in the "good old days", but because nobody was able to easily take and distribute a photo of the incident, Madonna King never found out about it. So back then, it wasn't a problem. Ignorance is bliss.

This situation really is an example of people wanting to have their cake and eat it too. Let's be fair, in the context of modern history, technologies like digital cameras and the Internet are very much in their infancy, and the human race is still working it all out. Joel Monaghan didn't perform this lewd act with his team jersey on, nor did he do it at a club function or on the club's premises. The photo was never provided on any website that is endorsed by any rugby league body or club. And if anybody happened to receive it in their email, today's equivalent to getting something in an envelope placed in your mailbox, it certainly didn't come with the letterhead of the NRL or the Canberra Raiders.

Yet somehow, the game of rugby league itself – a leisurely activity with rules – is no longer suitable for Madonna. Not that she really specifies whether it’s the NRL competition itself or rugby league in general that she’s boycotting.

I don’t think I’ll miss her presence as a rugby league supporter. In all honesty, I didn’t even know who she was before I read her article, which is interesting in itself. It makes you look a little more closely at the reason why she has taken this stance and decided to tell the world about it. So it doesn’t really matter what she thinks, because her job is not to save us from society’s problems – it’s to sell newspapers or increase ratings.

In the grand scheme of things, Madonna is really just a mosquito who has decided to have a nibble at rugby league. Unless she has malaria, the game will be fine.

In fact it probably won't even notice she was there at all.

---------------------------------------------------------------

747 words. Liftoff!

Reference: http://www.abc.net.au/news/stories/2010/11/09/3060851.htm?site=thedrum

 

[Willow]

 

[gorilla]

sorry for delay - scores shall be up this (Monday) evening.

 

[Jesbass]

All good, ref. You're the boss!

Good luck to one and all! :thumn

 

[gorilla]

KIWIS

RHCP
A very funny set piece - could be theatre. Well written with good pace and dialogue.
95

LeagueNut
Good telling of a classic joke with the characters and story perfect - clubs regularly employing 'detail guys'.
89

madunit
Coolly worked quatrains (luckily not rhyming) deal with each club's, and the game's futures.
90


KANGAROOS

Non Terminator
The increasing value of technological improvement as a benefit to simple passion and experience with an 'in your face' attitude.
88

Azkatro
Well constructed description and comment on another's opinions and the circumstances of recent events.
89


KIWIS (274) def. KANGAROOS (177)

POTM: RHCP (95)

 

[LeagueNut]

Cheers ref.

Congrats to RHCP on a great debut!

 

[madunit]

RHCP has killed em! What a legend!

Thanks ref and thanks Aussies. We'll see you early next season ;-)

 

[Jesbass]

Captain's Knock:

To the Kangaroos, thanks for the contest. Unfortunately 2 articles weren't enough to get you through, but you still fared well in the competition. :thumn

To the referee, thanks for your marks and comments.

To the Kiwis, well done, and wow - RHCP, what a debut! Is that a record? The final awaits, lads!

 

[Non Terminator]

Hello. I know it's a week late, but I've been thinking about what to write here. To the New Zealand side, I apologise for once again not getting full articles in. You deserve to be finalists, as do Papua New Guinea. For commitment to this competition alone. To Azkatro, thank you for sticking by me throughout the series. To the Roosters, I don't know what the future holds, or whether there will be a future. I hope so.

If not, there are some grave thoughts that this could be my last game. At this point in time I would love to help the game in the refereeing and...well...miscellaneous area. This year I have well and truly felt out of my league with this game, but I sincerely know that I will be back, sometime or another.