chriswalkerbush leads his chargers out onto Wenworth Park with a solid run down the flank
So, Your Sides on a Record Losing Streak
So youre supporting a side who despite having the worlds greatest player in #7, the worlds number one hooker on the books, and a base of junior players that has Michael Jackson salivating havent managed to win a game since round twenty six of 2004. Its certainly a sad state of affairs to be in, but thanks to ground-breaking research done at the Novocastrian Clinic for Record Losing Streaks, weve got a plan in place that may help overcome your condition.
Symptoms
Before discussing the cure, its perhaps best to discuss the symptoms. They generally vary from case to case. Some people will suffer all of these symptoms, whilst others, the lucky few well call fair-weather fans can often escape with only one or two.
Hope: Sufferers of this condition are likely to experience hope early on. Living vicariously through Jersey Flegg is a side effect of hope.
Depression: After the period of (sometimes vain) hope passes, many people go through a period of depression. This could be defamatory anti-Carmont forum spamming or, in some cases, binge drinking.
Nuffy said:
We are no chance of winning a game this year
fosie said:
ohhhhh that very last ounce of optimism that i had is now gone
Rage: Many sufferers have been known to go through brief rage blackouts as a result of this condition. Some sufferers have been observed going too far to the point of destroying club merchandise and inflicting bodily harm upon themselves through expressing their anger in physical ways.
Resignation: Following the more extreme symptoms, fans are often known to become resigned to their fate. By this stage, the only way, as Yazz say, is up.
Risa said:
Omg 50-0. All I can do is laugh
There are, of course, variations upon the above symptoms. Other sufferers have been known to invade the field, start vocal supporters groups, and even, in some cases, meet with club management to discuss the direction the club is headed in.
The Cure
Thankfully for most fans, the cure to this ailment can be obtained in a relatively short period of time. Indeed, it takes just eighty minutes for the condition to be well and truly bashed out of the system . The cure comes in a number of steps, all of which contribute to an overall feeling of well being, confidence, and relief in sufferers.
Firstly, it is crucial that a healthy playing roster be available for the sufferers viewing pleasure. In particular, world class players should be on deck and in form. Secondly, you need to have a committed and passionate supporter base around you, not only to encourage the club to perform, but to keep you in high spirits through a dark period of your life. Amusing chants, abusing the lower grade wingers, and excessive pre, during, and post game drinking are also advised.
Following this, you need a few inspired performances from your lesser known players. In this case study, well use Clint Newton, although any former bench player or promising junior is sufficient.
Oh, and a substandard performance from the opposition certainly goes a long way towards lifting the hoodoo and allowing for regular life to continue.
Fibroman said:
I got worried as soon as Penrith went to an early lead. That is a catalyst for a Penrith loss this year
Following the administering of the cure, sufferers may feel immense feelings of light-heartedness, giddy joy, or in some rare cases, absolute ecstasy.
This is absolutely normal and will subside in a matter of days.
The most important thing to bear in mind following this lifting of symptoms is that the condition could relapse at any moment. Long term steps must be taken to avoid further complications. At an individual level, continued contact with the support group is necessary. In the case of Knights fans, the group is the Knights Crusade, who can be found at:
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/knightscrusade
The rest, unfortunately, is largely beyond the hands of the individual. The condition will continue to recur as long as the club does not employ qualified training staff, suffers from horrendous injury tolls, and overpays players. The best thing for it is a complete overhaul at management level, but this may be akin to holding out for a cure to cancer. Clubs should consider privatisation, dropping of out of form players, or mass post season recruitment to amend the current situation until more drastic measures can be taken.
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