Round 9 (2005) Bulls v Pirates

[Willow]

South Florida Bulls v Coos Bay Pirates

Game Thread
Please note - This is a game thread only, therefore only game posts can be made here (Teams, Articles).
Any other posts will result in loss of points and is at the discretion of the referee.
Only original essays, not used in previous games, will be marked by referees.

Home team captain will be allowed 3 reserves, visiting captain will be allowed 2 reserves
Rules: http://f7s.leagueunlimited.com/rules.asp

Full Time: Wednesday 20th July at 9pm (Syd time)

Venue: Gold Coast Stadium

Crowd: 16,050
REFEREE: chriswalkerbush
**Referee Blows Game On!**

 

[broncoman]

USF Bulls

3 broncoman (captain)
2 Jordan
5 Homers Bowling Ball
8 Striker
11 BroncoCloete

Reserves
6 Diehard
1 Broncodroid
12 RifRaf

We're playing wounded this week without our captain and vice captain. However we are looking foward to putting in a good show against the highflying Pirates.
Good luck to both teams...

 

[Manu Vatuvei]

Pirates

Thierry Henry (c)
half
nibbs
anastabation
c_eagle

Prince Charles
weasel

 

[c_eagle]

c_eagle picks up the ball for the pirates and then realises he's actually about to type an article so he puts it back down and starts typing.

Rugby League Rules



To describe the very nature of the very notion of this very article in this very competition on this very forum would be like trying to recreate some arbitrary 20th century historical event. Everyone has their own little introspective point of view, which they are certain everyone cares about, yet the facts, the basic truth behind this 20th century almost forgotten event, which I’m not really talking about, because it’s an article about rugby league, aren’t really important. It’s just a matter of creating enough wankery to fool the reader into believing that what looks, quacks and acts like a duck, may not actually be a duck – unless I’m trying to prove that whatever this non existent event is, is in fact, a duck. So yes, I may know for CERTAIN that Manly have been awful for the last 20 years and have won, “2 lucky premierships,” just like 6 billion people are certain that their religion is the right one. Well, if there are 1000 religions, there are at least 999 incorrect ones, and so on.



One might ask, why do the very same people who spend countless hours of their lives discussing football with their friends (the fortunate ones, in any case) stay up all hours of the night talking about football on internet forums, watch every single rugby league dedicated program on every medium available, possibly more than once, not to mention the sports news bulletins and sports news websites which are obsessed over, spend the entire weekend watching every NRL, ESL and whatever other ‘L’ that’s out there, feel that their appetite isn’t sufficed, at least until they submit an essay on a rugby league topic? It’s almost a staple of the steadfast league follower to ponder an important question like, or “Why does NRL news come after AFL news on Sports Tonight? And surely those people (possibly Melbournians) who worked out the alphabet were being discriminatory.”



Deconstructing the sport, both on the field and politically, on online forums and in pubs, just isn’t enough for those involved with Forum Sevens. Why would a person who convulsed at even the thought of writing an essay at school (me) even if it was on a seemingly enjoyable topic, volunteer, nay, insist on nominating himself for humanities stereotypical chore?



It’s because the point of view of the arbitrary 20th century event, whether it was the Korean War or the Grand Final replay of 1978, is what one might consider to be significant enough to not only be published but also be submitted for rating. Is writing in the Forum Sevens competition the literary equivalent of Robster putting his photo up on the ‘Hot or Not?’ website? I’d say so. This narcissistic drive is not there to prove that the opinion is significant, oh no, this is a given for the Forum Sevens submitter. The idea is to try and stake a claim for your “religion,” amongst the thousands of “incorrect” ones. After all, if my opinion was incorrect, surely I wouldn’t be stupid enough to continue believing it?



Now all of this may seem a bit shallow, cynical even. Some of the optimists might say, “Couldn’t you both be right?” I don’t think Ben Kennedy dived on Wednesday, stupid Queenslanders and scorned Knights fans probably do. It’s within this example that makes Forum Sevens a crucial entity for the diehard league fan, this ability to outscore other diehard league fans in order to prove that they are a more astute judge – a better fan, even. Obviously it’s not as simple as this, because we are all blinded by some sort of bias. We all have the tendency to cling onto our team in a debate. Maybe not all the time, for some of us, there’s no doubt in my mind that every fan gives their club the benefit of the doubt in most situations.

Is the Roosters recruiting policy a detriment to rugby league? Rooster fans would say it’s about professionalism and “blah blah blah.” South’s fans would disagree and would most likely also resort to “blah blah”ing in retaliation. But how do we prove anything? Because, after all, I spend so much of my life on my rugby league dedication; surely I’m entitled to the truth? Surely these arbitrary events have a symmetrical answer. “I know! Let’s write essays about it and whoever gets the highest mark in the match, is obviously correct.” Sounds like a good plan but aren’t the referees fans too?

 

[broncoman]

Bulls Making a change

Out - Jordan
In - Diehard

 

[broncoman]

USF Bulls
#3 Broncoman (captain)

From the Bush

Being from country New South Wales myself I know the impact a celebrity can have on the area when they visit, but thrill in which you can call one of them your own is a big thing in a place like this. Thousand’s of players have played first grade rugby league since 1908; they all have to be from somewhere! There are a few that really stand out, Tommy Raudonikis, Steve Mortimer, Laurie Daley, Trent Barrett etc… the list goes on. These guys have all called the Riverina home and we are proud to claim them as our own.

Before the Eighties there were many real greats from the area, however two stand out, Eric Weissel and Arthur Summons. Weissel was the first true Rugby League hero that came from the Riverina and he never even played first grade. A hero of the late nineteen twenties he only played eight tests for Australia but he had a massive impact on the game in the region. There are many famous stories about him, but none more so than his performance in the second test against Britain in 1932. Playing injured for much of the match he put in a masterful display in what was considered the most brutal test ever between the two great rivals. Arthur Summons who is famously portrayed with Norm Provan on the Telstra Premiership trophy is another huge name to come from the area before the eighties. Despite only playing 50 first grade games he will long be remembered as a great, mainly because of his efforts as captain coach of the Kangaroos in 1963 as Australia won the Ashes for the first time since 1911. He was one of the first true duel internationals after having success in Union before joining Western Suburbs in 1960.

The seventies and eighties were a massive time for the area, greats like the Mortimer brothers, Sterling, Raudonikis all played in the group 9 competition before going to Sydney. Most famously Steve Mortimer led NSW to State of Origin glory in 1985. His 263 games for Canterbury puts him among the elite players for the club, his eleven year career with the Bulldogs which included numerous grand final appearances puts him among the great players to come from the Riverina. The great Peter Sterling was raised in Wagga after coming down from Queensland early in his life. He went on to win two Rothmans medals among many other awards in an illustrious career. Tommy Raudonikis is considered a footballing great more due to his courage, fight and bravery rather than his genius touches and magnificent skill. After leaving Wagga to join Wests in 1969 he made an instant impact. Two years after his debut he was already playing for the Blues and later in 1971 he made his first appearance for Australia. His contribution to rugby League here has not been forgotten and he is still among the great sporting legends to come from here.

In recent times, Junee’s favourite son Laurie Daley and the Dragons Trent Barrett stand out as the local greats. Seventy years after Eric Weissel made a name for himself Trent Barrett from Temora emerged from his shadow. Since coming onto the scene in the late nineties Barrett has entrenched himself as one of the games best players. As a big game player he rarely lets down his team at crucial times, his best games will be remembered as those in the number six for New South Wales. Laurie Daley is arguably the biggest name to come from the Riverina. His Rugby League talents were acknowledged far and wide and I feel its fitting to finish up on the great Raiders halve. Signed by the Raiders as a fifteen year old he made his debut in 1987 and would go on to become one of the clubs greatest players. His four grand final appearances (twice a winner) remain his highest achievements in the sport; this is closely followed by his two Kangaroo tours. Daley also became Australian captain following the retirement of Mal Meninga and he retired after fourteen years of first grade in 2001.

These are just a few of the greats from Wagga and the surrounding area to made an impact to the game here, others include Peter Sterling, Steve Reardon, Greg Brentall and so on, the new generation is looking good too with youngsters like Jamie Soward flying the flag high.
______________________
740 Words including title

 

[Striker]

USF Bulls
#8 Striker

The Greatest Game of All

The phrase that league fans know all too well, but this supporter for one questions the message it sends to its die hard supporters. While other codes throw around phrases like, “The World Game” and “The game they play in heaven” Rugby League states itself as “The greatest game of all”. I am going to get straight to the point, this is where I feel the game is being held back, an arrogance that doesn’t sit well with supporters of other sports.



Although our great game is currently experiencing a magical period with crowd numbers up and the competition possibly the closest ever, some would suggest that its continued success would be gauged on its ability to expand into the ‘other states’. Us, as Rugby League supporters know what a great game we have, a mix of speed, strength, flair and composure. Add to that the tactical prowess of our elite coaches, the passion of our players and supporters and the characters around and in the game, Rugby League never fails to bring exciting moments.



To successfully achieve expansion into the Rugby League outer rim of Australia, the game must not only achieve strong support there but, more importantly, be accepted as a worthy football code. We know it is, but do we know it a little too well. Melbourne, Perth and Adelaide, these are our targets, these are the places where Rugby League needs to stretch its branches. The seed has been planted in Melbourne, as well as in Perth and Adelaide but in the case of the latter two we forgot to water them. So we poisoned them and took the teams away but hopefully, in the future, the soil will accept a new seed.



To some of the people in these cities their chosen sport is a religion to them. Attacking their sport is similar to telling a Christian that Jesus never walked the earth, it is a direct attack on their faith. We shouldn’t be trying to convert supporters in these places we should be giving them an extended welcome, visit at any time. There will be a core of rugby league support that will turn up week in week out to support their local side. The crowd numbers will only grow beyond that with ‘visitors’ from other sports. They’ll eventually give it a go, usually when their chosen team is maybe playing away from their home town. Who knows they may even like it, but they are only going to like it if they feel welcome there. Let’s not let arrogance cloud our vision.



Rugby League is extremely strong in Sydney, Brisbane and North Queensland so we must continue to invest primarily in these areas. This will make sure that the heart of the game in Australia continues to beat strong, in turn this will help the ‘outer rim’ develop. Incentives should be provided by the NRL for players to move to these areas. Maybe a limit of three incentives per side, where the new clubs choose their ‘marquee’ players, this will attract attention by the local population and give them confidence in their side.



Again I stress us as the Rugby League community need to take away the negative view of other codes and sports around Australia and focus on our strengths. I am also not under any illusions that supporters of other codes never miss an opportunity to bag the game that we have grown to love, so let’s not give them the chance to do so. We must keep our own rivalries strong as this feeds a healthy competition, but let us use our healthy competition as the rivalry for other codes rather than public battery. Personally I am a supporter of a couple of football codes in Australia and it pains me to see my fellow Rugby League supporters degrade other codes. To me it seems childish and insecure. The approach I feel we need to take is, let them play their sport their way and we’ll play ours in our way.



So let us flock to our team’s stadium and cheer our charges on. Let us stand and applaud those magical moments that our players provide us week in week out. Let us embrace new ideas and concepts to spread our great game around our great nation. And finally let us spread the word. To US, Rugby League is “The Greatest Game of all”


[ 739 words - including title ]

 

[Homer's Bowling Ball]

Homer's Bowling Ball decides not to partake in the usual running commentary, and just posts his article....

#5 - Homer's Bowling Ball - USF Bulls
716 words including title


Rookie of the year

Every year a new crop of rising stars are plucked from relative obscurity, and thrust into the limelight as the next Joey Johns or Darren Lockyer. This year is no different. We have seen since the start of the season a number of talented youngsters strut their stuff in the top grade, impressing with their enthusiasm and raw skill, desperate to make their mark on the game. Touted as future superstars, these youngsters hope to cut it in the main game, and not fade into obscurity as many hot prospects before them have. This season we see a number of rookies rise through the ranks. But when it comes to award night time, one question will be asked, who is Rookie of the year in 2005? Let’s take a look at the candidates.

Tim Smith: There is no denying that the youngster from Queensland has made a huge impact on Parramatta’s fortunes this year. After the retirement of veteran Jason Taylor, the Eels have struggled to find a replacement that can provide direction. It appears at this early stage, they have found this in Smith. With great vision and a freakish kicking game, Smith has had an amazing 27 try assists and has scored 5 himself in just 18 games this season. There is no doubt that Tim Smith is a potential future superstar, some pundits have earmarked him as the future Queensland and possible Australian half back. But as with all potential great players, only time will tell if Tim Smith has the goods to go all the way. One thing is for certain, that Tongue of his will be his trademark for years to come.

Leon Bott: Another Wayne Bennett Special. For years Bennett has been plucking youngsters from obscurity and making them superstars. Players like Darren Lockyer, Shane Webcke, and more recently Karmichael Hunt have been groomed and developed by the master. Leon Bott is no exception. Taken from High School, “Lightening” Bott had never played Rugby League before this season. He has turned out to be one of the best wingers in the NRL this season so far, scoring 11 tries and making 1316 meters at an average of 77.4 per game. Some of the tries that Leon has scored can be described as nothing short of sensational, his dazzling turn of speed and fancy footwork bamboozling his opponents as he burns them to the line. He is good under the high ball or clearing up an attacking grubber, and is a competent defender. He has adapted well to the 13 a man game, and if he continues to develop his undeniable talent, he should be a real star of the future.

Jamie Soward: This young Roosters rookie is only 20 years old, but can boast a premiership to his name, being a member of the undefeated 2004 Roosters Jersey Flegg team. Jamie was the hero on Grand Final day ’04 for the Roosters Flegg team, kicking a long range field goal in extra time to sink the Sharks. It was a record breaking season for Soward, setting a record for the most points scored by any player in any grade in a season. The Wagga Wagga native, who many describe as the next “Freddy”, made his debut in the NRL for the Roosters against the Knights in round 8 of this year’s competition. In his 6 games this season, he has impressed, but has been hampered with injury and disruption in the Roosters halves. With limited opportunities, he has shown that he can mix it with the big boys, and many wait with great anticipation a possible halves combination with himself and Roosters recruit Braith Anasta in the future.

There is no doubting that this year’s crop of Rookies rates highly with Rookies from seasons past. Sensations such as Karmichael Hunt from last year and Billy Slater the year before have developed into superstars of the game, the potential shown by this year’s crop ranks up there with them. Whether this years Rookies can continue their successful start to the NRL in seasons to come is another mater. One thing is for certain, these potential superstars have shown that they can mix it with the best in the league, and definitely have bright futures ahead of them.

 

[Manu Vatuvei]

Thierry Henry- Pirates

Jealousy

Don’t you just hate NRL players? Oh, I’m sure on one level you love them- you wouldn’t be reading this if you weren’t a fan, after all. But on another, deeper level, you despise them. Go on, admit it.

It’s perfectly natural that armchair critics like myself, and so many other forum regulars, would deeply resent the same players that they base a substantial part of their life around. Now, I’m not talking about forum members who are ex-players or administrators, that insidious element in all forums that has a habit of regulating the usually unabated flow of venom and vitriol that pours from the fingertips of the run of the mill fan. It is this very vitriol that keeps us all sane. If we couldn’t rubbish the talents of our so-called favourite players, if we couldn’t ridicule them for having physical abilities that transcend anything we could ever imagine having, then we would never get to sleep at night.

If you haven’t thought about this before (and I’m certain you have), just give it a minute to sink in. You probably live and breathe rugby league. Maybe you catch yourself mentally replaying your team’s greatest moments when you’re sitting in a Uni lecture. Maybe you’re a little like me and still like to dream about what you could do if you were given a chance in the NRL, despite the fact you haven’t played any competitive contact sport for almost a decade and get tired doing the vacuuming. Of course you resent the players- you probably see them as clueless, heartless mercenaries who don’t treasure what they have nearly as much as you would. You’ve probably seen them make straightforward mistakes, and come to the galling realisation that you know ten times as much about rugby league as your favourite player does. If only you were 110kg of solid muscle and could run 100m in 11 seconds, you’d show the world just how clever you were.

Not mad yet? Consider these examples

* Sione Faumuina didn’t play rugby league at all until he was 18 years old. He took the game up in 1999, and made the Auckland and New Zealand under-18 teams that same year. In 2001, aged 19, he was playing first grade for the Canberra Raiders. After nine games he decided he wasn’t really interested in playing for Canberra, so he came back to New Zealand and was immediately given a place in the Warriors squad. He is now a Kiwi international and undoubtedly one of the Warriors’ best players.

* Benji Marshall was offered his first league scholarship when, ostensibly, he wasn’t even a league player at all. A touch football rep back home in Whakatane, Benji happened to be spotted when he was roped in to play a game while on a school trip to Keebra Park. He stayed in Australia and played first grade while still at school. He is now a Kiwi international, and already one of the most popular and well-known players in the NRL.

Doesn’t it make you sick? Players like Marshall and Faumuina can end up in first grade almost by accident. They weren’t even fans in the first place- Faumuina, believe it or not, was a Wellington basketball rep who had considered himself “too skinny” to play rugby union, and had shown no real interest in playing rugby league prior to his meteoric rise. These are the people who, come the weekend, control our mood, determine whether or not we have a good night, and in some cases, define our lives. I’m sure plenty of Warriors fans can’t think about 2004 without remembering their team’s dire season, but do you think Sione looks back on 1995 and mourns the last round defeat to Brisbane that cost the Warriors a finals spot? I doubt it.

There’s probably a message in this somewhere. Sagacious fans should realise that they are investing their emotions in a group of very young, often immature, and not necessarily intelligent men (the latter being especially galling to the league-obsessed pseudo-intellectuals who so dominate these forums- F7s in particular.) No, they probably don’t deserve it- that’s why you have the right, nay, the responsibility, to complain about everything they do. Anyway, after being on the receiving end of a few Sonny Bill shoulder charges, Carl Webb hit-ups, and agonising pre-season training sessions, you might realise that your favourite position in your fantasy NRL career isn’t winger, second-rower or fullback, but whinging, self-righteous fan.


748 words

 

[anastabation]

Park Footy



It’s a standard day at Belmore oval. Reni Maitua and Willie Mason are kicking a ball back and forth to each other, discussing how much they hate the Roosters. Sonny Bill and Willie Tonga are sitting in the grand stand chatting up groupies. Steve Folkes is chewing gum and also fending off the media, who are desperate to find out more about the current allegation that 2 reserve graders were seen playing cricket with a Woolworth’s trolley. The allegation has caused quite a ruckus, with numerous middle-aged females boycotting the club despite no charges being laid.



With no warning what so ever, Reni and Mason’s adversaries Braith and Mini decide to invade the pitch. Malcolm Noad tries to stop them but Braith stabs Malcolm in the ass with a dagger.



“You bastard, how could you?” bellows Corey Hughes from the distance, confident that if push comes to shove Reni and Mason will step in for him.



“You’re not wanted here, oh lord you’re not wanted here” says Reni with an aggressive look on his face.



A sheepish grin from Anasta indicates to Reni and Willie that the intruders aren’t going anywhere. The gauntlet was thrown down and both parties knew they were in store for some two-on-two touch footy.



A paper, scissors, rock victory to Anasta indicates that they will start with the ball. There was some temporary conjecture as to weather the custom made dead ball lines were of equal size but eventually the game is under way.



Immediately Minichiello targets Mason out wide. A swift side step leaves the big man grasping at thin air and Anasta ya-hooing. The Roosters definitely have the speed and skill advantage in this contest and it was clearly going to take some Grand Final 2004 guts and determination to turn things around.



The Roosters continue to dominate and it seems as though the longer the game goes on the less likely of a Bulldogs come back. Braith is chipping over Reni’s head on a regular basis and Mason has thrown 3 intercepts. The current score is 7-0 and the Dogs are in real danger of being humiliated on home turf.



Suddenly, as if out of the blue, Anasta and Minichiello get ridiculously over confident and decide to change the game to tackle. After having this information sink in Reni and Willie decide to re-adjust their game plan radically and have Mason target Minichiello in defense. Anasta’s game goes out the window because the going has gotten tough. Despite the fact there is only four people on the field he is literally nowhere to be seen, claiming he needs a bathroom break every five minutes. It isn’t long before the Dogs regain the lead, a flurry of tries to Maitua giving them an 11-10 advantage.



Mason starts sledging Braith about his incumbent ‘most overrated’ award, prompting Braith to walk off the field in a ball of rage. He calls up Gus on Minichiello’s mobile and explains that he is in a cab with four toey humans. Gould immediately leaves his Eastern suburbs mansion, jumps into the limo and drives straight to Belmore. He looks around the taxi rank but there is no sign of Braith. Upon learning this, he decided to persue Belmore Oval. On his way between the car park and the sports ground he is assaulted by 4 Bulldogs supporters and has his kebab spat in by the fat guy behind the counter at the canteen. Clearly an imposter, Gould decides to sneak his way into the stadium, sitting up high into the grand stand.



“****ing nerd!” yells out Sonny Bill, throwing an empty can of coke at the poorly disguised idiot.



“Bulldogs ****ing rule!” adds Tonga, thumping his chest.



At this Point, Gus is convinced that the 2 premiers are unaware of his identity. After all, they would do far worse than throw things at him if they knew it were him. Then, as if Sonny Bill could read Philip’s mind, he leaps out of his seat and proceeds to tackle Gus across the aisle. Willie Tonga then producers a series of falcons upon Philip, prompting him to roll all the way down the stairs and fall next to Braith, who is crying on the sideline.



“What the hell are you guys waiting for? Let’s split!” yells Minichiello.



The groupies and Malcolm laugh as they watch the three disgraced cowards run off into the night. It is another triumph for the Bulldogs, and another MVP for Willie Mason.

 

[DIEHARD]

DIEHARD makes a suprise appearance in the big match.
..

A look inside the Kangaroos trophy cabinet.



No cabinet would be more cluttered in the world of sport than the cabinet belonging to the Australian Kangaroos, the representatives of Australia on the rugby league international stage.

For decades the Australians have been unchallenged for rugby league dominance. Britain, the nation that gave birth to the greatest game has not won a series against the Kangaroos since 1970 when they beat Australia in a two match series in Brisbane and Sydney and our trans Tasman rival and little brother New Zealand not since 1953.

Surprisingly it was France that was the last nation to beat Australia in a test match series and that was in 1978. Since then, the green and gold has reined supreme, but not without many close calls and skipped heart beats.

A look inside the trophy cabinet of the Australian Rugby League reveals many of the trophies we are familiar with but also surprisingly many we never really knew existed.


The feature of the collection would of course have to be the Rugby League World Cup last won by Australia in 2000 and is back up for contention in another three years during World Cup 2008. The mighty Kangaroos have won the trophy eight out of the thirteen times it had been contested. Rugby League, ever the innovator had a World Cup decades before rugby union with the first tournament being instigated by France in 1954. The original World Cup trophy was lost for some years after a celebrating Aussie team lost it during the 1970s, it reappeared two decades later, found in a gutter near the Kangaroos hotel. The original World Cup is now back in circulation and safe and sound in the office of the ARL.


Another trophy that has proved ever allusive for the British is The Ashes trophy, awarded to the winner of a test series between Australia and Great Britain. A trophy the Lions haven't gotten their paws on since 1970 and was most recently won by Australia during their tour in 2003 that resulted in a 3-0 clean sweep.

The latest and arguably the most attractive trophy in the collection is the new Tri Nations trophy which was won by Australia last season. It features engravings illustrating a Kangaroo, Lion and Kiwi. The Australians also won the 1999 Tri Nations competition although they were awarded an entirely different trophy. With the Tri Nations to be contested annually between three competitive professional teams, Australia will have to dig deep to keep their international invincibility intact.

Another oddity of sorts is the Liberty Bell Cup. The first ever Liberty Bell Cup was hosted at the end of the 2004 Tri Nations tour and pitted Australia against the new kids on the block the USA Tomahawks. The match was organised by massive league fan and heir to the News Ltd Empire Lachlan Murdoch. The match proved to be an ambush for the tired Aussies who found themselves down at half time. The John Cartwright coached Americans were very impressive in both their fitness and proficiency but as always the Australians came home with a wet sail and won the cup, taking with them the inaugural Liberty Bell Cup.


Another interesting discovery is a trophy called the Courtney International Goodwill Trophy. It is possibly the most beautiful trophy and is gigantic, standing over 5 feet tall. It futures ornaments representing the four great rugby league super powers, Australia (Kangaroo), Great Britain (Lion), New Zealand (Kiwi) and France (Rooster). The trophy also features wood from all four countries and was first awarded in 1936. The trophy is awarded to countries that display dominance over a sustained period and thus has been kept in the ARL basement for the last few decades. All nations have held the trophy at some point. No doubt the Poms would want that one back too….if they could remember it existed!

Other exhibits include the Bill Kelly Trophy awarded to the winner of one off tests between New Zealand and Australia and the International trophy awarded to the winner of matches between Australia and PNG.

To sum up Australia's success in one sentence, Australia currently holds every trophy it is eligible to win.

But once upon a time Australia was on the other end of the trophy presentation, being the perennial whipping boys of the British, the old enemy.

Australia must remain on its guard for envious eyes are watching from across the seas, and Tri Nations 2005 is almost upon us…


750 words including title.

 

[nibbs]

Dickheads and Rugby League: The Jeremy John Mohekey Story

As a rugby league fan using the internet I have formed many personal, deep, profound relationships over internet forums and MSN. A problem with some of these relationships is that my rugby league pals support different rugby league teams. My buddy Mark supports the Parramatta Eels, while my good friend Nalin supports the St George Illawarra Dragons. Our friendships are strong, our bonds as tough as Steve Prefontaine.

I became internet chums with Jeremy John Mohekey, a Porirua local, in late 2003. From the outset I noticed he had a passion for writing rap music, something I find boring. Perhaps this made sense though. Jeremy was a supporter of the Canberra Raiders, the most boring side in the NRL. Jeremy didn’t seem to seek excitement. Perhaps we were headed down different paths. As a Warriors fan I had no interest in the boring, mundane football that the Raiders played. I really thought there was no chance of a friendship developing with Jeremy.

Things were to change however. Jeremy and I grew close. At first all seemed well. Jeremy seemed to have a great attitude to life. He was living life to the fullest. He could get any girl he wanted and he had one large collection of music all downloaded from the internet. I found this all a bit perplexing. Why would someone as cool as Jeremy support the Canberra Raiders?

However our friendship was about to hit a rut. During round 26 of the NRL in 2004, Jeremy made crazy assertions that the Raiders had saved the Warriors from the wooden spoon by beating the Rabbitohs. However, it wasn’t really an issue, as the for and against of the Rabbitohs was far worse than the Warriors. As the season came to close in October, things were about to get uglier.

Jeremy’s true colours finally emerged. I still can’t believe that none of us saw what was coming. For the entire off season Jeremy crapped on and on about Todd Carney, the Raider’s new wonder kid. The thing was Carney disappeared to Premier League part way into the season. Suddenly the big news was William Zillman. However Carney was back a few weeks later, and although he was a passenger in the Raiders victory over the Eels, Jeremy talked up a Storm on MSN proclaiming Carney as league next big thing. However this was nothing new, we’d all heard it before the weekend before and the weekend before that and almost definitely the weekend before that.

Jeremy’s madness tended to follow a pattern. If the Raiders won he would rate them Premiership favourites. But if they lost, he would be proud and then go on to inform us of the heart they showed in defeat, regardless of how big the hammering they were on the end of was.

As the Raiders have proven so far this season, they are nothing more than an average rugby league team. They currently sit in ninth position, which is outside the top eight. Furthermore they have a negative for and against. Furthermore, they still play the same boring style of rugby league, which makes in the most hardened rugby league fan fall asleep (myself included). Perhaps if the Raiders were in the top three sides in the league, my pals and I would have stood up and listened to what Jeremy had to say, but by now we’d simply had enough.

I found myself personally attacking Jeremy, and he abusing me back. Our friendship in tatters. I was devastated, but Jeremy didn’t seem to care. It seemed to me that only two things in life mattered to him, girth size and the Canberra Raiders, something that I have now heard all too much about. Seeing the way he sees the Raiders, it makes me wonder if his girth size is as big as he claims it is. Either way it doesn’t really matter. I think that Jeremy John Mohekey is a dickhead and he always will be.

It makes me sad, things being the way the are. Jeremy being so obnoxious, devoid of any common sense. I think of certain aspects of my life that we went through together, how proud I felt when I informed him of certain events that occurred over the course of time. That all counts for nothing these days.

He was my friend. His name Jeremy John Mohekey and his opinion is truly gay.


words count: 747

 

[half]

half | Pirates

Matt Petersen's Future

If a club can be considered a rugby league player’s girlfriend, Matt Petersen would have to be considered a Cleo Top 50 Bachelor right now. As Petersen, affectionately known by footy fans as Sideshow Bob, and the Parramatta Eels have agreed to part ways for 2006, the sturdy winger from the Western Australia of USA has suddenly become more popular than a good-looking female on a rugby league internet forum.

Parramatta, notorious for having a larger turnover than a fat man with diarrhoea, has finally taken Mylanta. Petersen will be the only regular first grader leaving the Eels at the end of this season. Petersen’s exit from Parramatta can be put down to salary cap limitations and Luke Burt agreeing to play for just $10 per game. You simply can’t beat that value. Yet his exit comes with an air of disappointment. Petersen has competed well so far this year, whether appearing in first grade, premier league or poetry slams at Parramatta’s Riverside Theatre. Whatever club he ends up at will gain the services of a reliable, articulate talent.

So what clubs are favourites to acquire the services of Petersen? Well typically, off-contract Parramatta players are targeted by the appropriately titled Raiders, the ready to pounce Tigers, and the Sea Eagles of Manly, whom constantly seek Eels’ players like food scraps at the beach. Des Hasler was kind enough to explain the situation.

“Before June 30 every year, I sit down with Noel Cleal. We create a list of Parramatta players we would be interested in signing. We pretty much write them all down and if we read in the newspaper that they’re available, we approach them with lots of money. It has worked pretty well for us so far.”

With former Eels’ wingers Scott Donald and Pat Richards headed overseas, Wests and Manly are desperate to find adequate positional replacements and retain their quota of Parramatta stars.

“It’s like killing two birds with one stone,” Laurie Daley was quoted as saying, well known for his love of clichés.

Matt Elliot was more than willing to chime in with his opinion.

“No comment.”

Yet a bevy of other NRL clubs are interested in gaining the services of Sideshow Bob. Penrith, Sydney and South Sydney have all sent official feelers, and in Penrith’s case, roses, to Petersen. In fact, North Queensland is the only team to outright disregard Petersen, still smarming over smart-arse comments made by the winger in his online profile on the Eels site, where he was quoted as suggesting that he only plays for Parramatta because “wanted to leave Townsville.”

North Queenslanders are generally crazy people and they are thirsty for his blood. Brisbane officials are also somewhat upset, claiming an anti-Queensland conspiracy.

Penrith is indeed most desperate for Petersen, having released Joe Galuvao and Ben Ross to free up funds, reportedly over $500,000, to buy a quality back to replace Paul Franze. John Lang summed up the situation well.

“Paul Franze has been particularly awful for us this year. Matt Petersen would be great for us primarily because he’s not Paul Franze. We could see him developing as our 5/8th once Preston moves to the Gold Coast the year after next. I feel we have an edge in negotiations as we have lots of bonuses to offer Matt out in Penrith, such as free buckets at Aqua Golf and free rides on the Nepean Belle.”

But when it comes to a leg-up, Petersen could do himself no better than moving to the Sydney Roosters. Whilst no official from the team is prepared to make a statement, a trusted female source from The Daily Telegraph has suggested the Roosters are willing to guarantee Petersen captaincy of the USA Tomahawks, and have promised to apply pressure to the NRL to include Western Australia in future State of Origin series’.

South Sydney, weary of Penrith’s large offer, have reportedly offered Petersen a whopping $700,000, an incredible amount for any player, let alone a standard first grade winger. George Piggins is desperate to pull off a major coup in the market, and sees Petersen as his last opportunity to sock it to the Roosters. They remain firm outsiders in the chase for the winger.

Petersen remains tight-lipped on the issue, only revealing that he will indeed stay in the NRL. With so many options at his disposal, Petersen should be able to choose the right girl, nay, club, to match his desires.

 

[BroncoCloete]

THE ART OF FIELD GOALS!

Some people say games are won and lost on the back of your kicking game. Others will say it’s just a minor aspect of a game that requires much more than one kick to win a game. However, the latter is so far away from the truth it becomes mildly amusing. Sure you’re not going to definitely win every game by kicking a 40/20, nor will you be assured of victory with a perfectly placed grubber and you certainly won’t lose games by picking out the opposition fullback on one occasion. But there’s one type of kick that can change games, finals and even premierships.

It’s a simple kick really, all you have to do is drop the ball on the ground and kick it with sufficient power and direction to put it between two posts. However it’s a kick that turns players into legends and makes crowds erupt. With the introduction of golden point a few years ago, we have steadily seen field goals increase in both importance and also in number. No one will forget Shaun Timmins’ famous kick that sailed between the uprights at Telstra Stadium to win game one of Origin 2004. Likewise, Jonathan Thurston’s drop goal, that touched a Blues hand, to send Origin one 2005 into golden point, which Queensland won after a Matthew Bowen intercept, will be remembered for years to come.

While this skill doesn’t really play a major part in picking the great players from the good players. It certainly adds a feather to the hat of your traditional “match winning” players. Andrew Johns holds the NRL record for the most field goals in a career, a staggeringly high number of 20. These match-winning players who are excellent under pressure can once again show off their talents as they skilfully slot a 30-metre drop kick through the posts to secure a win for their team. Apart from the aforementioned games, one famous game comes to mind. The 1998 NRL Semi Final between the Canterbury Bulldogs and the Parramatta Eels was a game where field goal kicking came to the fore. While it was a brilliant comeback through tries by the Bulldogs, it will be Craig Pollamounta’s magical drop goal that’s remembered throughout time. Struck from all of 50-metres out the ball, according to the referee, sailed just udner the posts and meant the Bulldogs went to extra time. Halligan eventually kicked a field goal in extra time and it helped Canterbury score another 2 tries to win the game. However, there are some people to this day, myself included, that believe that magical drop kick from 50-metres out sailed over. Whether it did or not, that kick along with the game will be remembered throughout rugby league history.

The art of field goal kicking is very much alive. It’s an exciting time for league fans, as matches seem to be getting closer and closer. Who knows, things may just come down to premierships being won and lost on the back of drop goals. Either way, it’s a joy to watch!

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514 words inc. title

 

[antonius]

Ref Blows Fulltime.

 

[Raider_69]

:lol:
Big ups to the notorious DiG, your the king.

BTW good games, alot of top class articles here

 

[Bobby DIGital]

:lol:
Big ups to the notorious DiG, your the king.

BTW good games, alot of top class articles here

I know dude...I know.

Step off my nuts Curtis.

 

[Manu Vatuvei]

dammit, why does the last paragraph of my article appear in a small font all of a sudden? That totally kills it imo.

 

[Manu Vatuvei]

And who is standing next to Ryles in the pic in Diehard's article?

 

[DIEHARD]

And who is standing next to Ryles in the pic in Diehard's article?

For the record that picture is from the Junior Kangaroo match against PNG that was laced with NRL stars. I don't know who it is though.

Notice the different sponsorship on the sleeves?