Well this thread has gone as expected.
I get that this was started as a dig at ScoMo and therefore makes any outrageous bashing of the other political “side” fair game. In that spirit…
So I am forced to agree with the ScoMo cheer squad that he has, by all appearances, actually won the last election and no amount of tears will drown out that reality.
I am reminded of my brother’s wise advice when I channelled Winston Churchill suggesting the election result sucked but it was less sucky than having a dictator. He said democracy may end up destroying us all. Sadly, if the wisdoms on display here are anything to go by (which they obviously are…), we are pretty much f*%#ed.
But in the enlightened spirit of Dragon Slayer’s post I can at least laugh at my foes between gasps for oxygen on this fine, smoke filled day.
And in these dark times, ScoMo has given us plenty to laugh about.
His trip to Hawaii as his home state burned was a pleasant distraction (after calling out Christine Nixon for going to dinner during the Black Saturday fires- obviously she didn’t go far enough).
His obvious knack for consoling and dealing with those directly in the fire’s fury has reassured us all about his fiscal wisdom. And we were mocking him for spending $190 000 on empathy training! He knows there is much more to be spent, but that was at least a good start (budget surplus be damned).
He may have oversold the Sydney test match, which was a bit of a fizzer, but his preppy tax payer funded ad with cute music selling us on his decisive policy making through the fire crisis was bang on. We should, after all, remain positive. It is not like anyone has died (well, at least not any firefighters). It makes you want to donate to the Liberals. Just be careful not to accidentally donate to a bushfire relief charity by mistake, that would be an actual tragedy.
And its about time someone stepped up and used our brave service men and women in a crisis like this. Too often they remain “neutral”, when the country is crying out for them to be used to support a good cause, like ScoMos Liberals.
Thankfully, we may soon have a Royal Commission into all this mess. Though that may depend on if they can get Shorten in its crosshairs (which would make it a good use of taxpayer’s funds, the moron going on about “fat cats” in his 1970s style election campaign deserves to be grilled in another Royal Commission). Hopefully we will find that cow manure is indeed a main cause of our current troubles (though maybe not in the literal way the leader of the Chinese Cotton Industry Party meant).
The coal whisperer himself may not want a royal commission, surely coal companies donate as much to his election funds as banks, and he rightly didn’t want those fine financial institutions having to disrupt the fine commerce of our country for little things like supporting paedophiles. But sensible, honest policy makers like our $80 million dollar energy minister may see it through.
I suggest letting Ross Garnaut head up the commission. That way we can safely ignore it for 10 more years until we have a decent fire emergency to bother ourselves with: one big enough to warrant the PM not leaving the country, unlike these camp fires we are dealing with.
There’ll be those who say Morrison should shove a sock down my throat. Thankfully the Jones’s of this world make up a tiny, tiny percentage of shock jocks so couldn’t actually have any effect on anything. And anyway, this time the Russian bots and Murdoch lackeys are right.
It really is about arsonists, and not climate change. Arsonists have caused a huge 1% of the fires, and only 99% have been caused by other things, least of which is climate change. I mean, as Pauline says, they can’t even tell if it will rain next week, let alone predict the climate for years (I’m with her, I’m packing bathers for a beach holiday in June in 5 years and stocking up on electric blankets for the following January. No climate model could accurately predict what it will be like then).
Luckily for us, ScoMo has perfected policy for keeping on top of troublemakers. I propose we lock up arsonists, and their children. That should serve as a deterrent and with arsonists out of the way, there is no reason we can’t enjoy decades of mild, balmy Australian summers.
With the decisive leadership ScoMo has shown recently, some say even more powerful than George W’s Katrina moment, hopefully we can all dismiss climate change as the real but not worrying phenomena that it is (actually denying it exists is sooo last decade, unless you’re Craig Kelly), and get back to worrying about real and important conservative issues, like 16 year old kids showing a social conscience (the nerve of them, what are kids coming to these days?), or Israel Folou’s unfair sacking.
