What if you looked f**king awful with or without the beard and it was negatively impacting on your ability to be happy? You struggle at work because you're timid and shy, and you can't find somebody to provide you with the external validation you feel you need because you're both not attractive by current standards and your own self doubt means you don't have the winning personality to compensate?
I get that your problem isn't with the people getting surgery, but with society. I just don't have a problem with 'self improvement' that can't be done solely by the individual.
The fact I can't find someone to provide me with the external validation is my problem, in your hypothetical. My appearance isn't the issue.
The exact same situation with a strong friend who says 'You look fine' and provides that external validation is, to me, part of the solution.
If I believe my happiness is dependent on my looks, then I will chase body image issues for the rest of my life. It reminds me of a David Foster Wallace quote:
Because here's something else that's weird but true: in the day-to-day trenches of adult life, there is actually no such thing as atheism. There is no such thing as not worshipping. Everybody worships. The only choice we get is what to worship. And the compelling reason for maybe choosing some sort of god or spiritual-type thing to worship--be it JC or Allah, be it YHWH or the Wiccan Mother Goddess, or the Four Noble Truths, or some inviolable set of ethical principles--is that pretty much anything else you worship will eat you alive. If you worship money and things, if they are where you tap real meaning in life, then you will never have enough, never feel you have enough. It's the truth. Worship your body and beauty and sexual allure and you will always feel ugly. And when time and age start showing, you will die a million deaths before they finally grieve you. On one level, we all know this stuff already. It's been codified as myths, proverbs, clichés, epigrams, parables; the skeleton of every great story. The whole trick is keeping the truth up front in daily consciousness.
It's not radical Drew. Point is, I'm not just speaking on the breast surgery part. I'm talking about plastic surgery, augmentation in general.
I see your point in regards to men/society - but again, that works both ways. You can't tell me girls don't look for certain looks/images for guys. I'm speaking on a body point side of things - If someone is truly unhappy with X body part for their own reasons, they should be allowed to.
I have no problem with them doing it. I am saddened that they
feel the need to do it.
On a slightly related topic, what's your view on circumcision, Drew?
Either or, really. I would for my son as I am circumcised and it means if I ever need to talk about penis', then there is no difference.
But I don't feel it is an issue, really. The Old Covenant is passed, circumcision is not even a faith decision for me.
He's unhealthy and needs to lose weight so he can live longer, but yes - he looks fine
Pretty much. He had bad gynaecomastia from what i've been told. But it wasn't bad healthwise, it was just a man with boobs. Should he have kept them?
Gynecomastia is a health issue, actually. So no, I feel ok that is an issue to have them corrected. I would categorise that like kids who have six fingers; not really necessary to correct but understandable and ok.
Not at all. It's something I've discussed a fair bit with my girlfriend. It's not a matter of telling them to be happy with it, it's showing them you love them exactly how they are. While body issues are a terrible thing they're not something that can't be overcome, both with and without cosmetic surgery. A large part of it is that they fear people won't accept them as they are. Positivity and support can work wonders.
Self esteem can be boosted by the smallest of things.
Completely agree.
It takes a hell of a lot more to boost self esteem than to tear it down [/procrastination]
Completely agree with this too. And, in fact, it is one of our issues as a society that we don't positively reinforce enough.
Time for bed lads. Night!
