Peter Cumins should liaise with one of the smaller Sydney clubs about adopting Perth as a second home. Look at a team that regularly draws shit crowds and convince them that 15k at Perth is more profitable than 10k in Sydney. It would be cheaper than starting the Pirates from scratch.
The worst club last year was Dragons, who averaged just 9,813. They've played 89 games at Kogarah for an average of 12,740. 123 games at Wollongong for an average of 12,511.
https://afltables.com/rl/crowds/st_geo-illa.html
With a name like 'St George Dragons' and a large English population in Perth, why not use that to their advantage?
St George could become the club for all Englishman living in Australia. Recruit heavily from the Super League and they might even pick up a fanbase in England.
6 games Perth, playing in a red jersey with a white 'v'. Gold and black socks and shorts.
6 games Wollongong, playing in a red jersey with a white 'v'.
Plenty of away games in Sydney, playing in a white jersey with a red 'v'.
Remove Illawarra from the name.