The Journey Home

[IanG]

Let's just say that this evening I was reminded of why I always go to Knights Home games by bus rather than driving.

Not only was I stuck in traffic for about half an hour but I spotted 2 dickheads in 4WDs chucking U-Turns right over the top of a traffic island. Then I had to go the back way because there were coppers diverting traffic at one of the main intersections. Then had this complete and utter f**kwit overtake me not only speeding but on Double unbroken lines then flashed his high beam at me. To top it all off he was also in a 4WD.

So NOTE TO SELF: Stick to the bus. At least you wont have to wrestle with 4WDs

 

[Big Tim]

 

[Misanthrope]

I was expecting something epic like The Hobbit or The Road.

 

[IanG]

Yeah well I just wanted to have a winge about 4WD drivers.
As it was it wasn't in a good mood.

 

[cram]

Yeah well I just wanted to have a winge about 4WD drivers.
As it was it wasn't in a good mood.

Nothing like stereotyping 4WD drivers because other car drivers never do anything wrong... :shock:

 

[IanG]

Yeah but to come across 3 in one night?

Also sorry Misanthrope for not giving you War and Peace to read

 

[Johns Magic]

Ian, it was nice of you to attempt a short novel and I'm sure your intentions were good, but really this story was lacking.

There wasn't a whole lot of depth here, and the character development was minimal at best. I don't really feel like I got to know him any better as the story went on, and the initial impression I got of him as an impatient dickhead certainly didn't capture my interest as a reader.

You dropped a couple of swear words in there, which really was just rude and unnecessary. That cheap shock tactic to draw attention to the novel is generally used by authors who have little prowess and no respect for the audience's intelligence, and readers won't warm to this. I know I didn't.

In summary, I'm not sure what your current employment status is, but I would most certainly recommend that you stick to your day job. I know that might be hard for you to hear as an aspiring Roald Dahl, but sometimes it's for the best. I would hate to see you shed sweat, blood and tears trying to break into the literary world when the fact is you just don't have what it takes.

Hopefully you can understand where I'm coming from, and whilst I can't say that I enjoyed the read, I appreciate the effort from you mate. Chin up, there's bound to be something else out there for you.

p.s. Not sure why the story was only 5 lines long???

 

[Matt23]

I'd give it a d-

 

[perverse]

4WD's must be pretty scary when you're rocking one of these babies home

 

[RABK]

Needs more Goat.

 

[perverse]

Needs more Goat.

indeed, especially if you're towing the missus behind, too.

 

[Serc]

:lol: @ entire thread

Edit: has anyone ever seen a review that is longer than the piece of writing that was being reviewed? Good effort there JM you might have earnt yourself a world first.

Edit 2: did anyone else notice this bit?

Then I had to go the back way because there were coppers diverting traffic at one of the main intersections.

I wonder what Ian is up to such that he needs to hide from the cops

Oh and the journey that mr perverse and I took to drop him off at his humble abode last night was rather uneventful, except for the fact that possibly for the first time, I wasn't completely dominating the airwaves. This guy can talk! (at least when talking footy anyway)

 

[roopy]

Mad Max IV - The Journey Home

Killer 4 wheel drives

Cops at every corner

Feral Penrith Supporters after dark roaming the streets

Needs a girl - and I think Luke Walsh should die in a bloody shootout - but there is definately a movie in it.

 

[Jobdog]

Ian, it was nice of you to attempt a short novel and I'm sure your intentions were good, but really this story was lacking.

There wasn't a whole lot of depth here, and the character development was minimal at best. I don't really feel like I got to know him any better as the story went on, and the initial impression I got of him as an impatient dickhead certainly didn't capture my interest as a reader.

You dropped a couple of swear words in there, which really was just rude and unnecessary. That cheap shock tactic to draw attention to the novel is generally used by authors who have little prowess and no respect for the audience's intelligence, and readers won't warm to this. I know I didn't.

In summary, I'm not sure what your current employment status is, but I would most certainly recommend that you stick to your day job. I know that might be hard for you to hear as an aspiring Roald Dahl, but sometimes it's for the best. I would hate to see you shed sweat, blood and tears trying to break into the literary world when the fact is you just don't have what it takes.

Hopefully you can understand where I'm coming from, and whilst I can't say that I enjoyed the read, I appreciate the effort from you mate. Chin up, there's bound to be something else out there for you.

p.s. Not sure why the story was only 5 lines long???

:lol:

 

[Big Tim]

Then I had to go the back way because there were coppers diverting traffic at one of the main intersections.

I wondered about this bit also..... but to me it just made the story more cool bro.

I wonder if Ian knows the cops where there to assist traffic flow, not make him chuck a U-turn over a traffic island.

The more I read it, the more it makes no sense.

 

[sneaky_is_here]

I wondered about this bit also..... but to me it just made the story more cool bro.

I wonder if Ian knows the cops where there to assist traffic flow, not make him chuck a U-turn over a traffic island.

The more I read it, the more it makes no sense.

I was really feeling for the character in the story at this point.

 

[IanG]

LOLing at everybody who thinks I was trying to write a novel here.

 

[cram]

LOLing at everybody who thinks I was trying to write a novel here.

LOLing at you if you think that they thought you were trying to write a novel

 

[antonius]

Ian, it was nice of you to attempt a short novel and I'm sure your intentions were good, but really this story was lacking.

There wasn't a whole lot of depth here, and the character development was minimal at best. I don't really feel like I got to know him any better as the story went on, and the initial impression I got of him as an impatient dickhead certainly didn't capture my interest as a reader.

You dropped a couple of swear words in there, which really was just rude and unnecessary. That cheap shock tactic to draw attention to the novel is generally used by authors who have little prowess and no respect for the audience's intelligence, and readers won't warm to this. I know I didn't.

In summary, I'm not sure what your current employment status is, but I would most certainly recommend that you stick to your day job. I know that might be hard for you to hear as an aspiring Roald Dahl, but sometimes it's for the best. I would hate to see you shed sweat, blood and tears trying to break into the literary world when the fact is you just don't have what it takes.

Hopefully you can understand where I'm coming from, and whilst I can't say that I enjoyed the read, I appreciate the effort from you mate. Chin up, there's bound to be something else out there for you.

p.s. Not sure why the story was only 5 lines long???

Heh JM ever thought about becoming a forum sevens ref?
Your summing up of Ians (Story)??) was first class. If you're interested send me or Pistol a PM. ;-)

 

[Stranger]

Bring back Ians Insight i say!