TV Quotes

[Ausguy]

RIMMER: There's nothing we can do until others find us. We'd better get a job. But what jobs are there in a backwards reality for a dead hologram and an android with a head shaped like a novelty condom? Red Dwarf Backwards

CAT: "These are my shiny things, and you cant have them"

"ooooowwwwww how my looking,, my hairs looking nice, my clothes are looking nice im looking nice"

"ooowwww whats that? ohhh its my shadow? My shadows looking nice, what a team, follow me shadow, this way"

Only Red Dwarf fans would appreciate it.

 

[Everlovin' Antichrist]

RIMMER: There's nothing we can do until others find us. We'd better get a job. But what jobs are there in a backwards reality for a dead hologram and an android with a head shaped like a novelty condom? Red Dwarf Backwards

Brutal!

 

[roboshark]

" sorry about that chief"

"missed it by that much"

both maxwell smart

 

[Parra Pride]

"Did you hear that Meg? Guys can marry other guys now. So...this is awkward, but I mean, if they can do that, that is pretty much it for you, isn't it? I mean you as well pack it in. Game over."


Stewie: "There it is! We did it, Brian! We made 9/11 happen! High five!"
Brian: "All right, high five!"

Stewie: "Well, that... that probably wouldn't look very good out of context."

 

[LESStar58]

A few Ari quotes from Entourage -

Is that the way they drive in Tiananmen Square, bitch?

Let's hug it out, bitch.

Listen, Lloyd, I want you to put all my files, folders, binders, *everything* into a box! If you find a used condom, an executioner's mask, and a f*cking spike paddle, don't think, just pack that bitch! Chop suey!

You know what they feed people on an indi set, Vinne? Nothing! They don't give you a trailer. They tell you to go sit on an apple box. Ever try to bang an extra on an apple box?

The next one after "Queens Boulevard" is a studio picture: I'm talking franchise, baby. We'll get you the lunchbox. And an action figure with a monster c*ck.

We are gonna get drunk with Russell Crowe and we're gonna head-butt some goddamn kangaroos

I didn't go to the Lakers game because they were playing the f*cking Bobcats... And I came here today because I thought this was a session on how my wife could learn to communicate, how to answer a question without a question, basic Humanity 101, which I thought, given your wall of f*cking diplomas, you could easily fix, or if you couldn't, you could give her a pill that would either fix it or make her a mute. But now, to turn around and gang up on me? I have work to do. I have hundreds of clients to deal with, and just so we're clear, I don't care about ANY OF THEM. They're ALL just a number, like Wife #1 and Therapist #7... GOOD DAY!

"If you so much as eye f**k another agent in this office I will deport you naked to the Taliban!"

 

[AlwaysGreen]

'it's the stickiest situation since sticky the stick insect got stuck on a sticky bun'

'life without you would be like a broken pencil.............pointless'

Blackadder.

 

[JB]

'treat your plane like you treat your woman......get inside her five times a day and take her to heaven and back!' WOOF!

Lord Flasheart

 

[Karl]

Percy: It will be a great day tomorrow for we nobles.
Prince Edmund: Well, not if we lose, Percy. If we lose, I'll be chopped to pieces. My arms will end up at Essex, my torso in Norfolk, and my genitalia stuck up in a tree somewhere in Rutland.


Blackadder: [seeing Percy's abnormally wide new neckruff] You look like a bird who's swallowed a plate.
Percy: It's the latest fashion, actually. And as a matter of fact, it makes me look rather sexy!
Blackadder: To another plate-swallowing bird, perhaps. If it was blind and hadn't had it in months.
Percy: I think you may be wrong!
Blackadder: You're a sad, laughable figure, aren't you, Percy?


Blackadder: I've got a plan so cunning, you could stick a tail on it and call it a weasel!


Blackadder: Am I jumping the gun, Baldrick, or are the words "I have a cunning plan" marching with ill-deserved confidence in the direction of this conversation?


The Prince Regent: [outraged] By thunder, here's a pretty game! You will stay, sir, and do duty by your prince, or I shall--
Blackadder: [bitingly] Or what, you port-brained twerp?! I've been looking after you all my life! Even when we were babies, I had to show you which bit of your mother was serving the drinks!


Blackadder: Yes, it's not the only thing around here that's "very small indeed". Your brain, for example. It's so minute, Baldrick, that if a hungry cannibal cracked your head open, there wouldn't be enough to cover a small water biscuit.

Blackadder: If you were to serve up one of your meals at Staff HQ, you'd be arrested for the greatest mass poisoning since Lucretia Borgia invited 500 of her close friends for a wine and anthrax party!


Blackadder: Yes, in one short evening, I've become the most successful impresario since the manager of the Roman Colosseum thought of putting the Christians and the lions on the same bill.


Lieutenant George: Oh, sir, if we should happen to tread on a mine, what do we do?
Captain Blackadder: Well, normal procedure, Lieutenant, is to jump up 200 feet into the air and scatter yourself over a wide area.

 

[AlwaysGreen]

"I'm just a humble mutherf**ker with a big arsed dick. Well actually I'm not that humble".

Bunk Moreland, The Wire.

 

[IanG]

Peter: Don't have kittens Brian
Brian: Pete I need this arrest. My case chart's lookin' like a.......... Zimbabwean Run Rate

Stingers: Cops and Robbers

Peter: Locker Room.. Now!!!
Another Stingers one.

 

[AlwaysGreen]

Peter: Don't have kittens Brian
Brian: Pete I need this arrest. My case chart's lookin' like a.......... Zimbabwean Run Rate

I thought for a minute this was a family guy quote. :lol:

 

[IanG]

No


Officer Barbrady: Well ya' aint Fiona Apple and if ya' aint Fiona Apple I don't give a rats ass!