Western Pasifika Bid News

[SirPies&Beers]

Huge developments in the ongoing battle for the NRL'S 18th licence. This masthead can reveal that glamour club and team 18 favourite the Western Pasifika Porcupines has entered into a joint venture-merger-partnership-forgemation with New Zealand's Stewart Island.

WPP head of international development non German division Stuart Stewart told this masthead:
'Stewart Island has often been regarded as New Zealand's other island but their rugby league history is very strong - over 32 viewers watch the NRL through the season and their juniors doubled last year (thanks to the Murray triplets). It's a growth corridor for the game and the porcupines are proud to be part of history."

It is this masthead's understanding that to commemorate the historic joint venture the porcupines will wear the traditional tan colour of Stewart Island on their shorts as well as the mighty sooty shearwater emblem on their right sleeve.

Spines up!!!!

I heard Daniel Dickson from Norths was approached to be the Porcupines inaugural chairman, however even with a $600 billion dollar war chest courtesy of club investors Oprah Winfrey, Carlos Slim and the entire country of Luxembourg it has since been revealed that the club couldn't afford the overhead costs of maintaining Daniel Dickson's jet black hair dye (which is speculated to actually be crude oil straight out of the Saudi Arabian ground that goes onto his head).

More to come.

 

[AlwaysGreen]

Massive news from the Western Pasifika Porcupines. This masthead can reveal that talks between NRL head honcho Darth V'landys, Western Pasifika Porcupines CEO Danny Dealmaker and UN Secretary General Lars Urlich are continuing at the WPP's Centre of Confidence in downtown Panania.

Sources close to the bid revealed to this masthead: "the forms have all been signed and a 687 billion shekels a year funding deal almost struck. An announcement will happen sometime in the next 2 or 3 years".

Porcupines spokesman Marcel Marceau added: "We are under a strict NDA so we cannot tell you that the porcupines are team 18. We can't tell you that we will play our first game in 2028 against the Newcastle Knights at our newly funded 87000 seat stadium in Krakatoa."

Spines up!!!!!