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Western Pasifika Bid News

SirPies&Beers

SirPies&Beers

Juniors
Messages
475
AlwaysGreen said:
Huge developments in the ongoing battle for the NRL'S 18th licence. This masthead can reveal that glamour club and team 18 favourite the Western Pasifika Porcupines has entered into a joint venture-merger-partnership-forgemation with New Zealand's Stewart Island.

WPP head of international development non German division Stuart Stewart told this masthead:
'Stewart Island has often been regarded as New Zealand's other island but their rugby league history is very strong - over 32 viewers watch the NRL through the season and their juniors doubled last year (thanks to the Murray triplets). It's a growth corridor for the game and the porcupines are proud to be part of history."

It is this masthead's understanding that to commemorate the historic joint venture the porcupines will wear the traditional tan colour of Stewart Island on their shorts as well as the mighty sooty shearwater emblem on their right sleeve.

Spines up!!!!
Click to expand...
I heard Daniel Dickson from Norths was approached to be the Porcupines inaugural chairman, however even with a $600 billion dollar war chest courtesy of club investors Oprah Winfrey, Carlos Slim and the entire country of Luxembourg it has since been revealed that the club couldn't afford the overhead costs of maintaining Daniel Dickson's jet black hair dye (which is speculated to actually be crude oil straight out of the Saudi Arabian ground that goes onto his head).

More to come.
 
AlwaysGreen

AlwaysGreen

Post Whore
Messages
50,659
Massive news from the Western Pasifika Porcupines. This masthead can reveal that talks between NRL head honcho Darth V'landys, Western Pasifika Porcupines CEO Danny Dealmaker and UN Secretary General Lars Urlich are continuing at the WPP's Centre of Confidence in downtown Panania.

Sources close to the bid revealed to this masthead: "the forms have all been signed and a 687 billion shekels a year funding deal almost struck. An announcement will happen sometime in the next 2 or 3 years".

Porcupines spokesman Marcel Marceau added: "We are under a strict NDA so we cannot tell you that the porcupines are team 18. We can't tell you that we will play our first game in 2028 against the Newcastle Knights at our newly funded 87000 seat stadium in Krakatoa."

Spines up!!!!!
 
AlwaysGreen

AlwaysGreen

Post Whore
Messages
50,659
Massive news from the Western Pasifika Porcupines as they firm as favourites for the NRLs 20th licence. This masthead can reveal that Darth Lord V'landys has met with WPP CEO Leo Sayer and the WPP'S 37 member board to discuss the bid.

This masthead's secret sauce said: "We are almost assured of licence 20. All we need is a ground, a centre of excellence, a German, a pokie den, and 97 million kroner for the licence fee."

Spines up!!!!
 
T

Trifili13

Juniors
Messages
1,146
AlwaysGreen said:
Massive news from the Western Pasifika Porcupines as they firm as favourites for the NRLs 20th licence. This masthead can reveal that Darth Lord V'landys has met with WPP CEO Leo Sayer and the WPP'S 37 member board to discuss the bid.

This masthead's secret sauce said: "We are almost assured of licence 20. All we need is a ground, a centre of excellence, a German, a pokie den, and 97 million kroner for the licence fee."

Spines up!!!!
Click to expand...
I hope Peter Beattie hasn't said "your bid is outstanding". You know what happened last time he said that.
 
AlwaysGreen

AlwaysGreen

Post Whore
Messages
50,659
Major announcement looming as the NRL looks to cement their expansion plans before Hanukkah. This masthead can reveal that NRL head honcho Darth Lord V'landys and Father Christmas will announce the Western Pasifika Porcupines as team 18 on December 24 @ 2345.

It's this masthead's understanding that other inferior bids have dropped the ball and will not be considered in the NRL'S expansion plans. An inside source has revealed: 'Darth Lord V'landys is not happy with the Perth bid. Premier Cook did not curtsey to him when he met him and so was dismissed.' It is understood that Cook only survived summary execution due to the intervention of Pope Francis.

Our insider can also reveal: 'PNG will be team 19. IKEA has started building the precinct at downtown Port Moresby. Expect an announcement before Chinese New Year'.

Spines up!!!!!!
 
AlwaysGreen

AlwaysGreen

Post Whore
Messages
50,659
Major update from the Western Pasifika Porcupines. In an exclusive, this masthead can reveal that the glamour club has a plan B if the NRL's stupidity declines the people's champions licence 18, 19 or 20.

WPP Director of Future Direction Boris Yeltsin Jr: 'We are in talks with the NFL and will join that competition as team 33 if the NRL falls through. Fans from our home base at Ipswich are mad for NFL and our home ground at Blacktown already has astroturf. It will be an easy switch to make.'

This masthead understands that the porcupines are still favourite for the NRL'S 18th licence but recent developments by WA Premier Cooko to give the NRL 800 trillion dollars and Rottnest Island has swayed head honcho Darth Lord V'landys thinking.

Spines up!!! USA, USA, USA!!!
 
SirPies&Beers

SirPies&Beers

Juniors
Messages
475
hey alwaysgreenbo alabama do you do this here because no one bothers to reply to your posts anymore elsewhere? :'(

it's ok, you have a friend in me
 
MugaB

MugaB

Coach
Messages
15,384
Great news today PM of new Zealand and PM of Rottnest Island will announce the 19th team on Thursday week as the joint Southern Island -Western Pasifika Porcupines also known as
the S.I.W.P Porcs
It will strengthen our two nations in a bond closer than brothers, even though NZ PM is female, we are still bros, hey bruh?...
...yeah BruH!
Anyways the new pact will be due out and all info will be forth coming in a brochure, funded by captian Rogers Cook in the mail coming soon, just fill in the X marks the spot, and return it to NZpost by nightfall

Spines up my brothers!!!!!

.... and sisters
 
AlwaysGreen

AlwaysGreen

Post Whore
Messages
50,659
Massive news from the Western Pasifika Porcupines following the announcement of the PNG Penguins as team 18.5.

WPP Child Financial Officer Kristofer Skase told this masthead: 'We are pleased to announce that the Western Pasifika Porcupines will use its massive wealth to be the major sponsor of the new team. This 67 million Jamaican dollars sponsorship over 17 years will see the Western Pasifika Porcupines brand on the front and back of the PNG Penguins jersey'.

Spines up!!!!
 
MugaB

MugaB

Coach
Messages
15,384
AlwaysGreen said:
Massive news from the Western Pasifika Porcupines following the announcement of the PNG Penguins as team 18.5.

WPP Child Financial Officer Kristofer Skase told this masthead: 'We are pleased to announce that the Western Pasifika Porcupines will use its massive wealth to be the major sponsor of the new team. This 67 million Jamaican dollars sponsorship over 17 years will see the Western Pasifika Porcupines brand on the front and back of the PNG Penguins jersey'.

Spines up!!!!
Click to expand...
Penguins is the Antarctic team, shame on you for shaming a 4th world country shame, shame, shame!
human shield.gif
 
AlwaysGreen

AlwaysGreen

Post Whore
Messages
50,659
Huge news coming out of the Western Pasifika bid.
This masthead can reveal that the glamour club has decided on a strategic opportunistic rebranding.

Western Pasifika Head of Strategic Decisions Mr Gumby said: 'After consumer consultation we have decided that the porcupines brand scores poorly in the key 18 - 25 LGBQRSIUVWP+ demographic. After extensive consultation it has been decided that going forward Western Pasifika will henceforth and thus be known as the Western Pasifika Hope.


Hopes up!!!!!!
 
MugaB

MugaB

Coach
Messages
15,384
AlwaysGreen said:
Huge news coming out of the Western Pasifika bid.
This masthead can reveal that the glamour club has decided on a strategic opportunistic rebranding.

Western Pasifika Head of Strategic Decisions Mr Gumby said: 'After consumer consultation we have decided that the porcupines brand scores poorly in the key 18 - 25 LGBQRSIUVWP+ demographic. After extensive consultation it has been decided that going forward Western Pasifika will henceforth and thus be known as the Western Pasifika Hope.


Hopes up!!!!!!
Click to expand...
Hopes? I thought Porcupines just love to fụck


Fụck Up!!!!
 
AlwaysGreen

AlwaysGreen

Post Whore
Messages
50,659
Important update as the Western Pasifika Porcupines is on the cusp of joining the NRL as its 18th 19th 20th team.

This masthead spoke to WPP Head of Football and Refrigerated Goods Marky Mark: 'We have been advised that the NRL will move to a conference system when the competition moves to 20 teams. There will be 17 conferences, 14 will have 1 team, 3 will have 2. Winner of each conference will play each other on the same day. Winner will then play the MLB world series champions in 12 sets of darts at the Ally Pally for the Dolly Parton Memorial Trophy'.

It is this masthead's understanding that the Western Pasifika Porcupines will be in conference 1.j with the Perth Bears.

Spines up!!!!!
 
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