The coach is stuck in 2008, and has a penchant for playing players out of position, inexplicably weakening numerous spots at the same time.
The halfback is taking up way too much of the cap, and has a long neck.
The fullback is incapable of playing any more than a handful of games in a row.
The hooker is facing serious charges in court, and has just been re-signed, despite not being available, and looking at jail time....and we have just signed another hooker, as his replacement, who is also unavailble for the majority of the year.
The 5/8 is held together with duct tape, and is also from the 2008 era, thus his signing ( see point 1).
We are the slowest team in the comp, by a fair margin.
Our wingers are slow, easily rag-dolled and ineffective at all aspects of the game.
Our centres are slow, one tries too hard, and f**ks up a lot.
The other likes KFC too much, and can't tackle.
Jake T has become Aiden Tolman, except he has a 900k price tag.
Marty T wants out, and we should let him go asap, and save some of his overinflated salary.
I've probably missed a few, but you get the gist.
