I met him in the head bin at ICU
Where you miscount fingers
And they diagnose your disorder
D-d-d-disorder
He staggered down the hall and forgot his name
So the doc grabbed his chart and in a too-loud voice
Shouted "Cordner!
Your name is Boyd Cordner!
No, no it's BOYD COOOORRDNEERR!"
Well I'm not the world's most together guy
But when I looked in his eyes I saw vacant skies
Oh poor Cordner
C-c-c-Cordner
Well I'm not dumb but I can't understand
How a head full of custard is good for a man
Like Cordner
C-c-c-Cordner
He pushed me away
He lurched to the door
He fell to the floor
Rabs said "he looks gone!"
The trainer gave thumbs-up and it was play-on
Ooh, you big dopey one, you dopey one
When you gonna make it to fulltime, Cordner
Ooh, you can't make any runs, any runs
Struggling coming off o' the line, Cordner
Never gonna stop, getting whacked, such a scrambled mind
Always get on up, drop the ball, head to the sideline
Boy oi oi oi, whoa!
B-b-b Boyd Cordner
Come a little closer, doc, a-will ya, huh?
Close enough to look in his eyes, Cordner
Keeping it a mystery, to count to three
Walking down the length of the tunnel Cordner
Never gonna stop, getting whacked, such a scrambled mind
Always get on up, drop the ball, head to the sideline
Boy oi oi oi, whoa!
B-b-b Boyd Cordner
When you gonna give it up, you got 3 cups,
Is it just a matter of time, Cordner?
Is it d-d-destiny, d-destiny
Or is it just a game in your mind, Cordner
Never gonna stop, getting whacked, such a scrambled mind
Always get on up, drop the ball, head to the sideline
Boy oi oi oi, whoa!
B-b-b Boyd Cordner