I’m sorry for your personal situation; that would indeed make it tough to go to games.
As someone who goes to quite a number of NRL matches, supporting my own club or by attending neutral matches, I have always found crowds, on the whole, well behaved.
The heavy drinking you talk of, I just don’t agree with. Many families attend games. Many mixed families ( Souths / Roosters; Tigers/Dragons ) etc sit together, and whilst there might be banter, no fights. It’s why I don’t like the ‘hate’ angle for Souths-Easts rivalry because it just is so false.
Yes I have seen the odd brawl or boozy punter, or someone hurling vitriol, but usually that is shut down really quickly.
I actually attended a Sharks game back in mid 00s, where a boozy, agro (more mean spirited) sharks fan was having a go at me in a real nasty way. It went on for 5-10 minutes before people around him told him to shut up, then he was removed. The amount of fans around me apologising saying they hoped we hadn’t had our night spoiled was amazing and I always remember it.
I travel to away games or neutral games. A lot. And not always ‘that’ Rabbitohs fan in the crowd, I regularly go to Canberra, Newcastle, Melbourne, Gold Coast. Penrith, Gong and Kogarah, Campbelltown and Leichhardt, Para, Manly… never ever had issues. Ever. Sure, you get mouthy guts but you sometimes need a thick skin and move on.
But back on topic, stalled or stagnant clubs … if the clubs and nrl worked harder on most aspects of the game, despite the cyclical nature of the comp, clubs could remain healthy and fan bases strong and engaged.