2011 ROUND 1: Rabbitohs -V- Ninjas

[Jesbass]

South Sydney Rabbitohs -V- Chuck Norris Texas Death Ninjas​

-V-

Game Thread:
* This is a game thread only. Only game posts can be made here - team lists, substitutions, and articles.
* Any other posts may result in loss of points and is at the discretion of the referee.
* Only original articles, not used in previous games, will be marked by referees.

Naming Teams:
* 5 -V- 5 (+ 2 reserves for the visiting team, + 3 reserves for the home team)
* No 'TBA' or changing players named
* Captains must stick with original teams named

Rules: http://f7s.leagueunlimited.com/rules.php
Official Word Counter: http://f7s.leagueunlimited.com/wordcount.php

Kick Off: Sunday 13th March 2011 (2100AEST)
Full Time: Wednesday 23rd March 2011 (2100AEST)
Referee: gorilla
Venue: Redfern Oval

 

[edabomb]

The Ninjas make their way out on to the field with an army of supporters in the stands, ala Souths in 2002. We'll see how long they stick around for this season....

Starting
paulquinn49 (c)
edabomb (c)
jamesgould
gUt
joshie

Bench
Hallatia
Stelios Giannakopoulos

 

[joshie]

Joshie dons the number 18 Ninja jersey, he places it on with pride and anticipation of a fresh new start. Joshie takes his first hit up since leaving his debut club the Panthers.....

(739 Words Including title)

Melbourne Returns

Before reading this article I want to delve into a world of movie theatrics. This is where in your mind you Cue intense music, with the camera panning down from the top, out of the illustrious clouds. Now the camera slowly begins to zoom into the city of Melbourne, and as it speeds up the camera lands and stops at AAMI Park.

The event taking place is the coach's address after our world came crashing down. The day the mighty Melbourne storm had been caught for cheating and the day we became what people had always called us, cheats. It was then this statement was made:

"We will stand up for ourselves and we will fight our way back from here" - Craig Bellamy

Before I elaborate on this remember semi final 2, 2005, Melbourne Storm vs. North Queensland Cowboys; a heart breaking end to a year. For the second time in 3 weeks we had run the cowboys down but could not quite secure the victory and head to the preliminary finals. For the THIRD year in a row, the Storm had bombed out in the second round of the finals.

I was devastated. I cried once more, for the anticipation of a great finals series, only to be let down by the realization that our season was now finished. It is the most frustrating thing you can ever go through, being stuck in a rut that you just can’t shake. Like a mission in a game that you just can’t pass, no matter how hard you try, but then all of a sudden, you break it and beat the mission. This was known as 2006.

In 2006, the Melbourne Storm, shocked the rugby league world, finishing minor premiers and runners up in the grand final. Although they lost 15-8 to a fantastic Brisbane Broncos on the day, the Storm, were by far the greatest team of that year. It hurt to lose, but finally it was a foretaste of what was to become. Cue 2007…

The year we won the world, we took down the Sea Eagles in the grand final, we become the champions and the feeling was indescribable. One of the greatest feelings imaginable, besides sex or becoming a parent, and the world was ours. Enter 2008 and 2009.

These two years can only be described as a roller coaster. From the top of the world, to the life crushing low of a 40-0 grand final score line to your grand final opponents of the year before, to the shocking fourth place premiership, seemingly stealing it from the dragons - excuse the pun. Then we enter a hopeful, exciting year, 2010.

I went into this season with so much hope and confidence. It was a new decade, a new year and an exciting time for me as a Melbourne storm fan. All the success had gotten to my head, the pride was there and the great fall was coming. I remember it clear as day, 8.10 am, on my way to school and I catch a glimpse of the beginning of the end. I hear on the radio "Melbourne Storm, Investigation, David Gallop to hold a conference, GET OUT OF THE CAR"…

That is all I hear, and I forget about it. Then at about 4pm, arriving home from a hard day of grade 12 and I take one look at the television screen and begin to cry. It read "Melbourne Storm stripped of 2007 & 2009 titles" it rolls over to say "and can no longer accrue any points this year." It had happened, we had been found out and it was the worst feeling, except bad sex or losing a child. I arrive to school the next day and all I heard was cheater and even had a drink thrown at me for following the storm. It was a big trial and the year just dragged on.

Cue 2011. I struggled to enjoy my footy for a lot of 2010 for obvious reasons. The off season build up has been a nervous but fantastic wait. I could not have been happier on the weekend. When the whistle was blown for time on my anticipation and excitement had returned and my 2005 humility has returned. We are back and are ready to play ball, just remember:

“We will stand up for ourselves and we will fight our way back from here.”

WE ARE BACK!

 

[gUt]

gUt finally gets his hands on the ball.

A Debut Victory

Stevie Jones had never seen so many people in one place. Sure, he had been in large crowds before, like at the Brisbane Show last year or on occasional shopping trips into the big city. But here, he could actually see them all at once. He felt so small; not in a frightened sort of way, more like he was a member of a really, really big gang. After all, these people were here for the same reason he was. It was an awesome thought.

Far beneath him, his beloved Broncos did battle with the Bulldogs from Sydney. He had been looking forward to this afternoon ever since his parents bought him a ticket for his 7th birthday. Now here he was, seated in the famed Suncorp Stadium with his dad, actually AT a Broncos game! The place looked so much cooler in person than on TV. It was packed, it was noisy and he loved it. His father smiled down at him and made a little “come-on!” fist.

The sense of occasion was not enough to sustain the good mood of Ken Barrett, seated a few rows behind Stevie. It was a tense period of the game, coming into the final 5 minutes. The home side was up – just – but now a young Broncos debutant spilt the pill near halfway. Ken had had a skinful, and was riding a sizeable wager on this game. He did NOT need some no-name rookie putting a large hole in his bank account so early in the season. He lurched to his feet.

“FOR F@#*S SAKE. DID YOU GO TO F@#*IN TRAININ’ THIS SUMMER OR WHAT! TRY USING SOME OF THAT F@#*IN HAIR GEL ON YOUR HANDS YA C!&#!!” he bellowed, spittle flying freely in great looping arcs like a fisherman’s line cast from a riverbank.

Heads turned. You generally did not see this type of character at Lang Park these days. Standing and cheering in some sections of the ground were viewed with distaste. (Why is he carrying on like that? Are those rowdy girls on some sort of drug? Does that guy really need to wave his flag around? Is that man drunk?)

This particular man certainly was drunk. No sooner had he slammed himself down in his tortured plastic maroon seat, sending a shockwave in both directions along the row, when the referee’s whistle trilled and a penalty was awarded to the away side. Ken tipped his head back like a wheelie-bin lid and roared inarticulate obscenities at the heavens. Stevie’s dad had heard enough.

“Mate, there are kids here. Can you tone it down?” he called up to the drunken idiot. Heads nodded, agreement was murmured, eyes scanned for security personnel.

“F@#* YOU AND F@#* YOUR KIDS!” The reply broke over them like a thunderclap. “THIS IS THE F@#*ING FOOTY!”

Other parents and concerned citizens joined in. Tempers flared. Mob mentality kicked in and far more personal insults riddled with far worse profanities than anything Ken had yet said rained down upon him.

Meanwhile, Stevie was only dimly aware of the shouting man, transfixed as he was on the game below. The Bulldogs were close to the Broncos’ goal line, on the attack. He was totally absorbed in the football drama, knowing that if the Broncos let the Dogs in now, they would probably lose. His first trip to the Broncos would be a loss – imagine that!

The inevitable bomb was launched and as the kicker’s foot struck the ball and the sound of it boomed around the stadium, Stevie’s heart seemed to explode. He knew what he had to do. Just as the Bulldogs’ winger leapt for the ball, Stevie stood and yelled as loud as he could.

What a moment this turned out to be. His shrill, pre-pubescent boy’s voice, powered with a seven-year-old’s passion for his team, cut through the noise of the match like a siren. Ken’s argument with the people around him instantly ceased as Stevie’s banshee wail drowned it out. Hands slapped onto the sides of heads to protect vulnerable ears. Commentators in far away glass booths thought they heard feedback in their headphones and made angry gestures at hapless producers.

The startled Bulldogs player dropped the ball, straight into the arms of Denan Kemp who took off down the sideline, ran the length of the field and scored, untouched, under the posts. The crowd went wild. Stevie had won the match for the Broncos!

749 words.

 

[griffo346]

Rabbitohs stride onto the hallow turf which is Redfern Oval

Griffo346 (c)
Non Terminator (vc)
Bubbles (vc)
Byrne_Rovelli_ Fan (vc)
Marshall_Magic

Monk
Matt23

 

[Bubbles]

Bubbles making her debut for Souths


The Capulets and Montagues

Two households, both alike in dignity,
In fair Verona, where we lay our scene,
From ancient grudge break to new mutiny,
Where civil blood makes civil hands unclean.

And so, Round One of the NRL 2011 season kicks off with one of the longest running and bloodiest grudge matches that remain in the game, as intense as it ever has been and ever shall be; Roosters versus Rabbitohs.

The lead up to this game is always of great and wondrous joy to the fans, the insults flying and whistling through the air like a barrage of steel-tipped arrows crossing cyber-space. “Tis a mere flesh wound” and the fire is returned ten-fold. Any advantage is pushed, every offensive aimed to leave its mark on the old enemy. Targets are acquired (some having proudly drawn the bullseye themselves) and the artillery is heavy, ammunition sought and stockpiled, retrieved from between the pages of sub-par print media.

Hence, as I write the inaugural article for my new team, I’m experiencing a bizarre sensation, as if I’ve been teleported into the midst of a hypothetical meeting of minds, a peace accord if you will, whereby the warring houses have decided to attempt to overcome their feud for the sake of their ill-fated progeny, or in this instance, their literary offspring.

I can see it as clear as day; Russell ‘The Gladiator’ Montague, suitably bearded and glowering, standing, feet apart, hands on his hips, his ‘Maximus’ model cod-piece impressively large, all shiny and resplendent. Meantime, Nick ‘The Mediterranean Descendant’ Capulet sits, stone-faced and steely eyed, his ‘Liberace’ model cod-piece, while more modest than the ‘Maximus’ in size, sparkles and gleams as the sun dances across the interwoven diamonds and assorted precious gems that adorn it.

Russell thrusts his hips forward until his back is arched under the weight of his upright cod-piece. “Forsake, I shall take my quill and parchment and upon it lay forth a tale of dire and traitorous deeds and bloody feuds”, he spits.

Uncle Nick raises his head until he manages to give the illusion of looking down upon his foe, even whilst he remains in his seated position. “LOL-eth@souffs” he replies drily.

As insults are exchanged and hands are clenched around the hilts of swords, instincts screaming for bloody justice, I find myself standing uncomfortably in the corner of the enemy’s house, wondering how long the tentative peace treaty will hold up against the weight of history. Despite the invitation clutched in my trembling hand, the air is thick with tension and sheer social awkwardness, for truth, what does one say to one’s ancient enemy outside the context of the battlefield? “I brought dip” seems somehow most inadequate, not to mention trite.

The silence in the room is becoming unbearable and a film of sweat breaks out across my entire body. I am caught tongue tied and speechless with no idea how to break the ice in this hostile environment. “Whatever you do, don’t mention the war” I remind myself, my mind desperately groping for the right thing to say, until I’m happy to settle on anything at all, truly, anything to break the deadlock of awkwardness.

“So, how much does bloody St. Merge suck dogs’ balls,” I exclaim excitedly and not without a touch of bitterness.

“Bloody heaps” they chorus back and at once the tension is eased somewhat as we find our common ground, the enemy of thine enemy and all.

And so, while these tentative victories are celebrated off-stage, the ancient grudge takes to the traditional arena of battle and the two tribes go to war. Massive hits, sublime skills, a great comeback, a breathtaking finale, all combine to once again brand and seal another saga in this tale of two houses, neighbours and happy foes to the end of time.

And as the last echo of frenetic warfare fades into history all that is left is for the two households to disperse, the Capulets full of swagger and skiting while the Montagues rue the turning points in the battle and busily commence plotting their violent revenge as the sun sets upon this, the latest scene of civil unrest.

A glooming peace this morning with it brings;
The sun, for sorrow, will not show his head:
Go hence, to have more talk of these sad things;
Some shall be pardon'd, and some punished:
For never was a story of more woe
Than this of the Roosters and the Rabbitohs.

Word count: 746

 

[paulquinn49]

PQ for CNTDN

The Cronulla Development

When the Cronulla Sutherland Sharks entered the competition in 1967 they may not have had many fans, they may have been everyone’s second team. The team you care about, but when your favourite team plays them, you want to see the team you have a soft spot for lose by 50. The Sutherland Shire locals who followed league already supported teams, teams with history, teams they had experienced highs & lows with. St George & South Sydney were the more fancied clubs by Shire residents, for good reason too, they were both highly successful. St George was on the end of an era where they won 11 straight premierships.


Who could forgive the locals that actually gave Cronulla a chance to be anything other than what their big brother was, maybe even more successful. Over the years Cronulla built their history, their fan base & their culture. The pioneers were the kids who took Cronulla on board & accepted them into their hearts & minds in 1967, now were having children of their own, who grew up with other local children that also followed the club, played in the junior competition & aspired to play for the Sharks one day.


Over the years Cronulla has struggled with money, a struggle that had potential to see the club fade away & die, many called for the NSWRL/NRL to stop bailing them out & banish them to nothing more than a park/pub competition.


Now in 2011 a development on land owned by the club has been voted on & approved by members, with the potential to bring in millions of dollars each year to the club. This is a massive deal for the club who has been in debt almost all their existence. Without the burden of having the worry about debts, or how people are going to get paid, Cronulla will for the first time in a long time have the chance to compete on a level playing field & spend their salary cap to the full potential. Cronulla will have something they have never had before, Amco Cup aside I am not talking about a trophy, I am talking what really matters in 2011…money. The only problem with this is that while this retailing & property development has all the focus at the moment, no one was looking at the other developments.


The developments away from the financial security pose a bigger threat to the club. Every club has bandwagon supporters, the fans you never knew existed, but will share the glory none the less. So with the potential of being an attractive club that can use its entire salary cap, results will come, the bandwagoners will jump on and crowds will be good, for a while.
With Cronulla’s steady stream of failures & St George losing their choke ability, the pioneer’s children have jumped ship. Granted such is the hatred or contempt for big brother they may not follow St George, but they don’t follow Cronulla either. The heartbreak, the frustration, the fear of never seeing your team feature in a grand final in your lifetime took its toll.


Over the years the happy go lucky Cronulla fan was given hope, it was false hope, but it was still hope. In 1999 they dominated a competition, becoming minor premiers & bowed out never reaching the summit. They signed players at the top of their game, only to see them play at the bottom of it. Players of great talents & popularity lose it all for incidents off the field & signing a coach you could only dream of, to find out it was a nightmare.
When this development goes ahead & work begins, the interest in Cronulla Sharks will pick up. It may result in some better than expected performances & fans will return. For the fans that remain when this development is complete & the money flowing, I hope the football club & players have success. There will be no excuses for failing to perform & whatever staunch supporters Cronulla have left may end up as sad & washed up as the people that sit at Henson Park to this day, to cheer a club that died 28 years ago.


They may not win a competition in the next 5 years, but they can develop one on the field, develop a fighting spirit, a never say die attitude & the ability to pick themselves up off the floor when no one wants them to get up. That’s what their fans want & that’s what they need, long before any shop or unit is developed.

748 Words

 

[Non Terminator]

Non Terminator, in his South Sydney Rabbitohs debut.
749 OWC below the logo.

Second Week Syndrome

The tipping competition. Always competitive. Every beginning is the same, so unpredictable. You never know who will sink or swim, comparing to last season. After the first eight games were completed, I was sitting, smiling, happy with five correct tips. I didn't mind, it was a good feeling to be competitive at the start.

I was sitting well above those who continually stayed loyal to their failing teams (such as South Sydney Rabbitohs fans), and well below those who, somehow, must have access to a Delorian. There were some shocks, but now the real unpredictability approaches.

Second Week Syndrome. The bastard never fails. Year after year, I keep promising myself things would be different. Year after year, I ignored my own advice. Year after year, it bit me in the arse. You see, the second round of the competition exists for one reason only, to even the competition out. It never fails. Two teams will face each other in an anticipated encounter. Team A will be coming off one hell of an amazing win in the first week, and Team B will be coming off a lazy, sh*thouse performance. Guess who usually wins the encounter? You could bet Scott Prince's house that Team A will win every time. After watching replays of the first round, I knew it. Things would be different this year. I ignored the advice once more.

Skip to Friday night. Here we go. The Parramatta Eels and the Canberra Raiders, both coming off incredible performances, were set to face the Penrith Panthers and the Brisbane Broncos respectively, both, of course, coming off terrible, lazy performances. Like most people, I tipped the first round victors, who I believed were easily set for more success. In comes the Second Week Syndrome.

A few hours later, my confidence crashes like the car driven by a Crash Test Dummy. Penrith belted Parramatta 20-6, Brisbane belted Canberra 20-4.

Hang on a second...is this a typo?

What the f*ck?

Tips - 0/2. A shocking start, but still plenty of time. Still six chances, I wasn't quite ready to panic.

Saturday is set to save me. Two of the three matches involved teams who both went through the same fate in the first week. Ironically, those were the two matches I attempted to sneak out upset victories. That, again, bit me in the arse. The Melbourne Storm, however, defied Second Week Syndrome to give me my first correct tip of the week, thumping the Gold Coast Titans.

Tips - 1/5. Many tippers were on three, looking at the average. My sister just happened to be on five, which slightly pissed me off. Never mind, still chances to break even.

Sunday would definitely save me, no question about it.

I went with first round victors, the Canterbury-Bankstown Bulldogs and the Sydney Roosters (obviously, with loyalty added) against first round losers, the South Sydney Rabbitohs and the Manly-Warringah Sea Eagles respectively. The Bulldogs, like the Storm the night before, defied the Second Week Syndrome to give me my second correct tip of the week. The Roosters, sad for me for multiple reasons, didn't.

As any Rooster diehard would know, going up against a depleted, out of form team would usually mean a loss for us. I guess in Rooster terms, we got cocky. The loss for my side meant that once again, the Second Week Syndrome was still out to get me.

Tips - 2/7. Sh*t. Never mind, I'll grab my third on Monday night. It's a certainty.

This one would enable me to avoid complete embarrassment. Look at it this way.

St George/Illawarra Dragons. They not only won in the first round, but they've also captured pretty much every award in the competition.
Cronulla-Sutherland Sharks. Lost by twenty-eight to an injury-ravaged side, a team commonly referred to as "the bye".

Now, despite the Second Week Syndrome lurking behind the shadows in this game, this one was certain to work in my favour...

Or...

So I thought.

Tips - 2/8. Two out of f*cking eight. Incredible! My drop down the ladder was longer than Mt. Fuji.

Looking back on it, out of the six I got wrong, four of them involved Second Week Syndrome.

It never fails, it really, really doesn't.

I said it before, I'll say it again. Round Two exists, just to even the competition out.

Ten out of sixteen teams - one win, one loss.

Second Week Syndrome.

The cheeky bastard never fails.

 

[edabomb]

edabomb struts out on to the filed for the Ninjas

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A Modern Marvel

While watching Round One of the NRL this year I was really struck by how much the game has changed in the twenty seasons I have been a fan. The game is so much more structured now; so much more professional in the way it is played and administrated. Opportunities exist to players these days that were a pipedream thirty years ago. Players are paid guaranteed amounts that compete with any professional sport in Australia, and most rugby codes around the world.

Late in the first half on the first Friday of 2011 the perfect example of a modern footballer went down injured after one minute’s action. I am, of course, talking about the NRL's unluckiest man – Scott Geddes. Geddes has been with South Sydney since their readmission into the NRL in 2002, before 2011 started he’d managed 112 first grade games. Luke Stuart - the other remaining prop from that 2002 season - has played 187 games in the same period. Scott was ruled out for the season the morning after that first game of 2011, another crushing blow in a career plagued by injury.

Let’s revisit how Scott Geddes NRL career started. The South Sydney Rabbitohs were dismissed from the competition at the end of 1999 as Sydney teams were culled to make the NRL more viable moving forward. The Rabbitohs fought this action in Court, a stand very unlikely to have been taken in the pre-Super League days of the mid 1990s when the Court Room and Rugby League didn’t hold such a strong relationship. The Rabbitohs won their case and were re-admitted to the NRL in season 2002. Scott Geddes was signed as young up and coming prop, and made his debut in Round 2 of that year.

So from Court proceedings Geddes was given a shot at the big time and over his NRL career he has gained the respect of the Rugby League community for his ability and dedication. Earmarked as a potential rep player at many stages over his career, he has unfortunately been brought down to earth with a thump every time his career is gaining momentum. Geddes has had a shocking run of injuries over the years. While not being a South Sydney fan, the image of Scott that sticks in my mind is him being escorted from the field by a trainer or the 'medicab'. It seems like every time I see him play he is struck down by another season ending injury, and leaves the park either frowning, in pain or unconscious.

These injuries would have curtailed a player’s career long ago in any previous era. In the days when footballers had to have careers outside football, Geddes would not be able to spend months out of the workforce rehabilitating. He’d struggle on with work and after the second or third serious injury pack rugby league in for good, as it was costing him too much income. With Geddes signing a two-year contract last season he is now able to work on getting himself fit for 2012 to give it all another go. 2012 will be his eleventh season with the Rabbitohs, a great achievement and testament to his dedication and hard work.

The other remarkable point about Scott Geddes is that whenever he is fit he is fast tracked straight into First Grade. Even if he had gone through these injuries in a previous era it would have taken him a lot longer to get back up to speed. The fact that players can now maintain their fitness through most injuries, and play in such a structured team environment allows them to feel comfortable walking straight back into a squad. While star players would have walked straight into teams through the years, it is doubtful that hardworking forwards have ever been afforded that luxury to the extent that they are today.

Between the Court case that gave him his start, the continued ground breaking surgery that has helped prolong his career, and the modern day structure of NRL sides that lets a player slot straight into the line-up when fit - Geddes is a modern marvel. I mentioned earlier in the article that Geddes is the NRL's unluckiest man. While this is true, he is certainly not the NRL's all time unluckiest. The NRL's historically unluckiest players are those that came and went without the benefit of the modern day environment and health care. The ones that never got to play 113 First Grade games.

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747 words between the lines.

 

[Marshall_magic]

Marshall Magic for Souff Synny
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MONEY! MONEY! MONEY!​

With Nathan Tinkler’s bid to buy the knights becoming a bigger and bigger issue in the NRL these days, I’ve decided to take a look around the world at people with money (lots of money), who I think would be great owners of NRL clubs. Not only will these people pump plenty of cash into a club, they will also provide some outside “expertise” into how the club is run or help the players in their day to day life as an NRL player.

WHO: Vince McMahon
HOW’S HE RICH: Owns the WWE which is the biggest sports entertainment company in the world. He has seen off serious threats in his industry from rivals such as WCW.
WHAT WOULD HE BRING TO THE TABLE: McMahon is accused by wrestling fans all around the world of burying any talent that isn’t a product of his company. Anyone who makes their way to the top prior to signing with the WWE is believed to not stand a chance under McMahon of staying there. How does this help him run an NRL club you might ask? It’s very simple.

With code jumpers going from League to AFL and Union in recent years it makes the NRL seem like it can’t keep its own talent. However Lote Tuqiri’s success in union suggests League players are phenomenal athletes who can play at the pinnacle of other sports. If Hunt and/or Folau succeed in AFL, it would further prove that League players are among Australia’s greatest athletes. On the flipside, if they bomb it makes them seem like inferior athletes and they can’t hang with guys in other sports.

Now let’s add 2 and 2 together. Vince with his cash will help us hold onto more and more players, and on the same token, help us raid other codes with players who have made it to the top. But when these other guys come across to League, do they actually play in the NRL? No, Vince goes into his burial mode, and they spend their whole term playing for a feeder team. It makes other sports athletes seem inferior to our own, yet we hold onto all our players and claim superiority. That ladies and gentlemen is called having your cake and eating it too.

WHO: Floyd Mayweather Jr
HOW’S HE RICH: One of the world’s top boxers who rakes in the big bucks per fight. Also, has the nickname “Money” so he’s got to be rich right?
WHAT WOULD HE BRING TO THE TABLE: The guy promotes himself right up there with the best of them. He is a love him or hate him type guy, if you like him, you want to watch his fights to see him win, if you hate him, you want to see him get knocked out. Either way, the guy sells. Not only that, the guy is undefeated, he can teach the football department of the clubs how to, well, not lose. It can’t be too difficult right?

Not only on the field, he can also help players off the field. Rewind a few weeks. Benji Marshall is being harassed racially by some drunken yobbos at Maccas in the early hours of Saturday morning. Marshall claimed to give the guy a soft punch in the mouth. Now whilst he may have deserved it, you either have to go all or nothing on this, no middle ground. Imagine if Benji had been training with Floyd, and rather than hit a short jab on the guy, throws a 5 punch combo Floyd has taught him sending blood everywhere, before throwing the final blow knocking him down for the count. Yeah, he’d probably still be in trouble, but he’d look 10 times more badass.

WHO: Charlie Sheen
HOW’S HE RICH: Getting paid a ridiculous sum of money for his final episodes of Two and a Half Men
WHAT WOULD HE BRING TO THE TABLE: Well where do you start. First off, Mr Sheen would by comparison make our players behaviour look a little bit more polished, which will finally shut everyone up about player behaviour. Who cares about player gang signals when the club owner is doing tequila shots out of porn stars’ bellybuttons. Also, it would eliminate a lot of indiscretions completely. Would Danny Wicks need to be selling eccys to teammates if Sheen is in charge of the club? Plus he could organise a few killer Mad Monday for the players. I’m sure they’d enjoy it.






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750 words between the lines

 

[jamesgould]

That’s Entertainment!

Rugby league is not only the greatest game, it’s the greatest entertainment. In fact, if the Independent Commission gets it’s wish and renames the NRL, I don’t think RLE – Rugby League Entertainment – would be far off the mark. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not advocating rugby league becoming a product anything like wrestling (how horrid would that be?). Just that there’s so much to the sport that you can get well over your recommended daily entertainment needs simply by following the code.

First up, there’s the soap opera element. Rugby league can pull on the heart-strings as much as any episode of Home and Away. Look at the people marching in Sydney when Souths were kicked out of the competition? I daresay there was more passion on display than you’d get from a pack of ardent Kirsty and Kane fans! There is romance too ... well, perhaps more bromance, but Benji and Prince’s intimate on-field kissing liaisons will not be quickly forgotten.

I for one am not a fan of CSI-type dramas on tv, but if that’s your idea of a good time, again the NRL comes up trumps. There has been an absolute myriad of crimes (suspected or otherwise) by rugby league players in recent years. From alleged rape, to wife beating, to drunk driving, to public urination, match fixing and things with dogs that are best not delved into too deeply. Come to think of it, CSI: NRL would be a goer! What is Hollywood waiting for? The propensity of rugby league players to land themselves in it with the constabulary is legendary. I’ve argued before that it’s great entertainment and publicity for the game, as well as being an integral part. The success of crime shows on tv in recent years should prove it – once again the NRL gives the people what it wants!

If House, ER or Grey’s Anatomy is more your go, then once again you are well covered. We have just completed round two, and already most sides have three or four injuries to contend with. Ok, so there’s usually nothing amazingly rare, that only a total genius with one hell of a bad attitude could solve (although Jamie Ainscough did have someone else’s tooth in his arm for an inordinately long time), but the NRL does make up for quality with quantity. There are risky new procedures taking place which do add drama – Luke Covell’s knee becoming part-machine was a recent highlight in the field of innovation.

You couldn’t find many things much funnier than the NRL either. I hate to agree with something Phil Gould repeats ad nauseum, but there truly is nothing funnier than a referee falling over. A fun drinking game is to watch a Rick Stone interview and down a shot every time he says “no doubt about it” or “that’s for sure”. Michael Witt’s career was just hilarious full-stop; Des Hasler breaking the door; oh, and where else would you see someone jump a fence and get beaten up by a giant Sea Eagle?

Courtroom drama is in high supply. Perhaps not with the wacky antics you would see on an episode of Boston Legal, but a rugby league lawyer is seldom out of work. Greg Inglis not only went to court, but in true commitment to his craft, he also created a legal stand-off over his legal fees!

Honourable mentions in the field of entertainment go to music (Eric Grothe Jr playing a post-match gig at Parramatta leagues club last year), literature (Mario Fenech managing to write a book) and philanthropy (the player’s non-stop charity work).

The main selling point for rugby league however, and it will, I suspect, always be the case, is drama. From charting pre-season form in a trial, through a desperate battle between states, to a domestic final between the two best sides across 26 rounds and a month of play-offs, and onto an arm wrestle between countries that end in ultimate glory for one. This season there will be so many moments that have people’s pulses racing faster than anything else in this world could possibly result in. From a final minute match-winning try, to a high tackle that results in a send-off ... A player sustaining a season-ending injury, or a brilliant try that everybody will rave about for seasons to come.

I reckon you can take all your other forms of entertainment. Rugby league is all I need. Something tells me 2011 will be one hell of a ride.

 

[Non Terminator]

Non Terminator, proxy for Griffo, who is working.
748 OWC


Welcome to FOX Sports Australia and Sky Sports New Zealand. My name is Warren Smith, and with me in commentary is former NRL player, Daryl Halligan. We find ourselves at the Panthers "World Of Entertainment" complex, for what is the biggest charity poker game in rugby league history, with over 30 tables. However, we will only cover the main table, where we find the biggest names in rugby league.
Players at this event include NRL and NYC players, with invitations handed out to the ESL players, some of them choosing to participate. Coaches have also been invited to participate, with proceeds to go to Grass Roots rugby league.
Each table will be a mixture of NRL stars, coaches and NYC players. Some of these players have been audio plugged up for today’s event. We will be switching to them at any point in time.
Players whom we have set up include some of the games greats and immortals just to name a few players we have recently retired Brad Fittler, Andrew Johns, Brett Kimmorley and immortals Bob Fulton and Peter Sterling.
So without anything else to say lets hand it down to ring side commentator and ring announcer. He’s a panther great and sports announcer, he is the great "MG" Mark Geyer, take it away MG.

Mark Geyer: Players take your seats this is a knock out event scheduled over a series of 15 minute blinds, players you have a 10k stack there will be no add on at the break after the first hour. Blinds will start at 25/50 LETS SHUFFLE UP AND DEAL.

Warren Smith: Daryl, today we find out who can out-play, out-smart each other all the way to the tournament winner here and see who the best rugby league star at poker is.

Daryl Halligan: That’s right Wazza we will see who can use their poker face whether it is smiling when they have a good hand or even smiling when it’s bad, we will also see a bit of the famous table talking that can go around. Wazza, MG has some news from the arena floor.

MG: Daryl mate we have our first victim today we have it is rugby league legend turned commentator Gary “The Wiz” Freeman, how did you find today’s experience Wiz?

Wiz: MG mate I loved it poker is a great game and I just had a unlucky loss holding pocket queens and Freddie hit the Broadway.

Daryl: The Broadway straight is MG is when a player hits the Ace high straight.

Wazza: Daryl mate it’s been a good day but unlucky for the Wiz he became our first victim only 1 hour into the game. However the blinds will go up more so and as they do we will have more players fall but we won’t cover everyone’s demise we only did the Wiz as he’s a fellow fox sports commentator and he was the first out.

Daryl: Now the Wiz is out he will join us as a roaming commentator on the floor of this wonderful complex. Wiz mate we have lost a few now how many tables does it look like there is left now?

Wiz: Daz mate it seems to be about 4 tables of 7 now where late into the game blinds sitting at 1000/2000 as I talk to you Daz mate we are ticking over (MG is heard in the background announcing blinds are up to 2000/4000).

Daz: Thanks wiz MG do we have any of the big names left such as Freddie, Joey and Gordy left?

MG: Dazza mate yeh of course there still in they have pretty big stacks we could see them at the final table if the short stacks around them keep falling.

Wazza: MG mate who are the short stacks?

MG: Waz mate there is a few short I'll get back to you mate with who they are once we have found out as we have just lost a heap of players….. We are at top 16.

Wazza: Wiz have we made final table yet

Wiz: Just as you ask me that Waz we are on the bubble for the final table.
Dazza: The bubble is when we are one away.

Wazza: Thanks for the poker terminology Dazza.

Wiz: Daz we have a 4 way all in with Freddie set to win the most if his pocket kings hold and they do so we lose 3 players down to 7.

MG: THAT’S THE FINAL TABLE

 

[Non Terminator]

That'll be all.

 

[Non Terminator]

I hate to see us as the only team without full articles. Be that as it may, still time.
Well done Ninjas for a successful return.

 

[joshie]

well done everyone. should be a good game. i am happy to have made a succesful return from "injury" haha and i hope i can strike up some good form and help the ninja's charge towards a grand final appearance

good luck rabbitohs as well, its a shame you guys didnt have the full compliment but it should be a cracker

 

[griffo346]

well done on the great return ninjas

what can i say a poor start from us we will be looking forward to our next game hopefully we will have more players on deck

 

[gorilla]

Ninjas

paulquinn49
Solid outline of club’s need for revenue and link to opportunity.
80

edabomb
Good summary of an individual’s fragmented career.
81

jamesgould
Entertaining comparison of TV shows and NRL character.
83

gUt
Entertainingly written juxposition of innocence and profanity.
91

joshie
Showed the ups and downs of 5 years of fandom. Could have been better edited.
78



Rabbitohs

Griffo346
Disjointed and obscure – could have gone somewhere but didn’t.
57

Non Terminator
Simple everyman’s view of turning tables.
86

Bubbles
The fabric of the tale is woven to suit the man and the game. Need to acknowledge other writers….
88

Marshall_Magic
Wry look at what makes people rich and club ownership.
83


Ninjas (413) defeated Rabbitohs (314)
POTM: gUt

 

[Bubbles]

Congrats to the Ninjas on a great first up performance and particularly to gUt for his article; well deserved, really, really enjoyed it!

 

[edabomb]

Thanks for the refereeing gorilla.

I think Souths had our number if they'd got the articles in. Bad luck and all the best with that next round.

Well done gUt, sensational first up performance.

 

[jamesgould]

My bloody lowest ever mark, should have stayed in retirement!!! :lol:

Well done Ninjas.