5TH ASHES TEST: @ The Oval London July 26-30, 2023

[Chins get the wins]

This is delicious, my guys.

Draw - 2-1 series win, Poms cry over draws
Win - 3-1 series belting, literally shit on Stuart Broads twink face
Lose - 2-2 series draw, retain Ashes, Poms cry even harder over 'moral victories' and 'rain saving Australia'

Even if we lose, we win. The national anthem of England is about to become this

The cricket hasn't been the best but the comedy has made up for it

 

[bazza]

This is delicious, my guys.

Draw - 2-1 series win, Poms cry over draws
Win - 3-1 series belting, literally shit on Stuart Broads twink face
Lose - 2-2 series draw, retain Ashes, Poms cry even harder over 'moral victories' and 'rain saving Australia'

Even if we lose, we win. The national anthem of England is about to become this

Australia 9/250 with 30 minutes to go - Broad can't bowl due to poor light and they hold on for the draw

 

[undertaker]

Was wondering what the bad news was going to be when I woke up. I guess the bad news is that had it not rained we would have been even close to the total and still none down.
Will done Davey and Usi.

We could play until midnight right? I mean it's not like the ground staff and TV crews have anything better to do. They're all just peasants anyway.

Had there been no rain and play continued right through to stumps for after another 40 overs or so, I'm confident Australia could've got to around 250-285 being no more than 1 wicket down. Flat day 4 pitch at The Oval, flatter than pitches there compared to those from Ashes series in years gone by. The Poms aren't going to get the reverse swing they've done in the past at The Oval, given this fixture was traditionally held in late August-early September, where the cricket square had a dry and abrasive surface at that stage of the English summer.

Once the rain started midway through session 2, I agree with King-Gutho94 that Warner and Khawaja were better off staying off the field, as there was a chance events may have occurred such as what happened to the Aussies on day 3 in Headingley after they had to go out to bat in the late afternoon/early evening.

You can clearly see the wear and tear bowling nearly 50 overs more than Australia did in the first innings has had on the English fast bowlers. Ali and Stokes injuries have complicated matters even further, meaning Anderson/Broad/Woakes/Wood have had to take on the bulk of the workload.

With less than 40 overs bowled yesterday before the washout and Australia losing no wickets, England are now under time pressure to take 10 wickets and draw the series. Looking at the forecast, there's a high chance they will not get the full 98 overs allocated for the final day's play, or a day 4 Old Trafford situation emerges, where the light isn't satisfactory for fast bowlers and England will be forced to bowl spin.

 

[undertaker]

Australia 9/250 with 30 minutes to go - Broad can't bowl due to poor light and they hold on for the draw

Piss Morgan will be on suicide watch if that scenario emerges!

 

[Bazal]

Piss Morgan will be on suicide watch if that scenario emerges!

I volunteer to be on watch.

I just have to duck out for the rest of my life

 

[undertaker]

The short, high risk innings they’re playing isn’t doing their bowlers any good either.
Possibly why Wood didn’t bowl much. They don’t want him bowling 20+ overs in an innings.

They sure do like a different ball, the poms. Whatever ball they’ve got, they always want a different one.

100% agree with your first paragraph.

The Bazball style of play looks flamboyant and swashbuckling at first sight, but the moment the Poms get bowled out within 50-80 overs (such as the first innings of this test, where they didn't last 55 overs) isn't doing any favours for their fast bowling attack.

Regarding the ball, Ponting mentioned in commentary about how the Dukes balls in this series are different from the batch used in the 2019 Ashes. Don't know if it is the Poms or Aussies he mentioned who still have used Dukes balls from 2019 that were used in training sessions, but the seam of the Dukes used in the 2019 Ashes were more pronounced. I still remember the spell Pat Cummins bowled in the 4th innings at Old Trafford in 2019, where he got the ball to boomerang with huge amounts of reverse swing on the final day.

Also, around the 30 over mark of the Australian innings, the ball looked very scuffed up (in close up shots of the ball), which is quite uncharacteristic of Dukes. I don't know if it's an issue with the lacquer traditionally applied on the ball or what not, but having played at club level in the past using the Dukes in some matches and Kookaburra in others, the Dukes was still in good condition around the 45-50 over mark. It wasn't going out of shape compared to the Kookaburra ball.

 

[JamesRustle]

100% agree with your first paragraph.

The Bazball style of play looks flamboyant and swashbuckling at first sight, but the moment the Poms get bowled out within 50-80 overs (such as the first innings of this test, where they didn't last 55 overs) isn't doing any favours for their fast bowling attack.

Regarding the ball, Ponting mentioned in commentary about how the Dukes balls in this series are different from the batch used in the 2019 Ashes. Don't know if it is the Poms or Aussies he mentioned who still have used Dukes balls from 2019 that were used in training sessions, but the seam of the Dukes used in the 2019 Ashes were more pronounced. I still remember the spell Pat Cummins bowled in the 4th innings at Old Trafford in 2019, where he got the ball to boomerang with huge amounts of reverse swing on the final day.

Also, around the 30 over mark of the Australian innings, the ball looked very scuffed up (in close up shots of the ball), which is quite uncharacteristic of Dukes. I don't know if it's an issue with the lacquer traditionally applied on the ball or what not, but having played at club level in the past using the Dukes in some matches and Kookaburra in others, the Dukes was still in good condition around the 45-50 over mark. It wasn't going out of shape compared to the Kookaburra ball.

I think its got to do with Brexit... no cheap skilled Euro labour, so manufacturing the Duke has been done by useless English unskilled, uneducated labour ... those dumb Poms can't take a trick.

 

[AlwaysGreen]

I'm assuming if it rains there is are 27 reserve days and we can play until 2 am like the poms want it.

 

[hineyrulz]

Every 5 overs*

*Runs

 

[bazza]

I'm assuming if it rains there is are 27 reserve days and we can play until 2 am like the poms want it.

I think play continues till England get a moral victory

 

[bazza]

I think play continues till England get a moral victory

... or the series is voided

 

[bazza]

The English Cricket team have today moved to clarify a confusing facet of the game.

Speaking to media after the conclusion of the fourth day’s play in the final Ashes Test, Captain Ben Stokes explained that whining to the umpire after every single over is completely valid.

“If you look up the Spirit Of Cricket rulebook, you’ll see berating the umpire about the ball after every over is completely within the rules,” explained Stokes.

“If you don’t like the ball, you can make up to 10 formal requests a session to get the ball changed.”

Stokes comments come after he and his bowler’s gave umpire Joel Wilson RSI in the last innings of the 5th test, constantly demanding he pass the ball through the stupid ass handcuff looking thing that determines whether the ball is fit for play or not.

Despite pretending to play the game in the ‘spirit of cricket,’ the constant sooking has been branded by a few fans as fairly at odds with respecting the umpire and the laws of the game.

“No, no, no,” said english bowler Stuart Broad when asked about the ball change requests.

“We felt like the ball should have been swinging more.”

“It wasn’t fair that the ball got clobbered by Dave and Usman. I felt like I already wanted him out.”

“So we felt like we should get a new ball that swings.”

After being finally given a new ball that hooped in the English conditions, Broad defended his teams whining.

“No, it’s not fair that we are losing this series.”

“We deserve a new ball so we can get some wickets,” he said with a quivering upper lip before ending the interview.

England Confirm Law 10.2 Of Spirit Of Cricket Allows For 10 Requests A Session To Change Ball

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT The English Cricket team have today moved to clarify a confusing facet of the game. Speaking to media after the conclusion of the fourth day’s play in the final Ashes Test, Captain Ben Stokes explained that whining to the umpire after every single over is...

www.betootaadvocate.com

 

[undertaker]

With Australia still having 10 wickets in hand and enough time to win, this is the situation where I hope Cummins considers promoting Marsh to #3 if either Khawaja or Warner gets out.

From doing this, Cummins should allow Marsh to bat at #3 and play his natural game: bat the way he did in the first innings at Headingley (like Gilchrist did at the WACA in 2006 vs England), hopefully smacking at least a few boundaries at the minimum. A quickfire 30-50 runs or so from him would get the Poms nervous, sending a strong message to them that Australia is there to win the match. Put some pressure on the Bazballers, rather than bat the way they did in the 1st session on day 3. Batting Geoff Boycott-style would work if they don't lose wickets. However, once Khawaja and Labuschagne got out in the first innings, the other batsmen panicked under pressure and began losing the remaining wickets in regular intervals.

By implementing this strategy of Marsh at #3, it allows Australia to go for the win, whilst also giving them the option of shutting up shop and batting for the draw if a cluster of wickets fall and they don't believe they can chase the target of 384. However, if Australia is planning to do the exact opposite and block England right from the start of day 5, it creates that nervous tension on the pitch that then filters down to the other batsmen in the dressing room.

If the plan works, it works. If it doesn't work and Marsh gets out cheaply, all is not lost: there's still Labuschagne/Smith/Head in the batting lineup to come.

That'd be the advantage of having Marsh come in with 9 wickets in hand vs. arriving at the crease in his usual #6 position with 6 wickets in hand, and potentially Labuschagne/Smith/Head already back in the pavilion by then. In that scenario, Marsh would be required to play more conservatively (like he did at Old Trafford) if there's still 100+ runs required for victory.

 

[Chins get the wins]

With Australia still having 10 wickets in hand and enough time to win, this is the situation where I hope Cummins considers promoting Marsh to #3 if either Khawaja or Warner gets out.

From doing this, Cummins should allow Marsh to bat at #3 and play his natural game: bat the way he did in the first innings at Headingley (like Gilchrist did at the WACA in 2006 vs England), hopefully smacking at least a few boundaries at the minimum. A quickfire 30-50 runs or so from him would get the Poms nervous, sending a strong message to them that Australia is there to win the match. Put some pressure on the Bazballers, rather than bat the way they did in the 1st session on day 3. Batting Geoff Boycott-style would work if they don't lose wickets. However, once Khawaja and Labuschagne got out in the first innings, the other batsmen panicked under pressure and began losing the remaining wickets in regular intervals. Late-order runs from Cummins and Murphy towards the end of their first innings may prove vital in the end.

By implementing this strategy of Marsh at #3, it allows Australia to go for the win, whilst also giving them the option of shutting up shop and batting for the draw if a cluster of wickets fall and they don't believe they can chase the target of 384. However, if Australia is planning to block England right from the start of day 5, it creates that nervous tension on the pitch that then filters down to the other batsmen in the dressing room.

If it works, it works. If it doesn't work and Marsh gets out cheaply, there's still Labuschagne/Smith/Head in the batting lineup to come.

That'd be the advantage of having Marsh come in with 9 wickets in hand vs. arriving at the crease in his usual #6 position with 6 wickets in hand, and potentially Labuschagne/Smith/Head already back in the pavilion by then. In that scenario, Marsh would be required to play more conservatively, like he did at Old Trafford if there's still 100+ runs required for victory.

I'd go Head

 

[Bazal]

I'd go Head

We'd all go for Head but I think Marsh as pinch hitter is more comfortable and doesn't f**k the rest of the batting order much if it fails

 

[Mr. Shaman]

If we are tinkering, we got full Bazball and send our most effective player vs Wood up to 3.

Goggles Potter is our man!

 

[JamesRustle]

If we are tinkering, we got full Bazball and send our most effective player vs Wood up to 3.

Goggles Potter is our man!

Yes! Let's f**k with them.

 

[JamesRustle]

I'd go Head

That's my default answer to most questions.

 

[Fangs]

To beat England at their own game? To claim an actual result and moral victory? Now you guys have my attention.

Marsh is the man. He is hitting them the best at the moment.

 

[JamesRustle]

Both batsmen must ask to see the ball everything England gets a ball swapped. That seemed to shit them when Labs did in the 1st innings.... then say it looks like the previous one.