5TH ASHES TEST: @ The Oval London July 26-30, 2023

[Port Stephens Magpie]

How long is the rain meant to last?

I figured you'd have a cry ya f**kin cat

 

[Sphagnum]

If Australia win or draw here it won’t count under Bazball rules. This is the first test series in history where rain has had an impact and since the impact wasn’t in Englands favour, it’s not fair.

Right? Care to comment Stuart, you self righteous f**kwit. Enjoy going out on top with your home Ashes loss, Dickhead. The tears did more damage to the outfield than the rain.

 

[AlwaysGreen]

Pitch looked as placid as the raiders goal line defence.

Love the poms telling us that Wood only bowling 3 overs and not coming on until we were nearly 100 was tactical as if we're as gullible as them.

We're in the box seat, well played Davey and K man. And well played Baz-Ben for asking for roads.

 

[JJ]

England might be happy with the rain now, of course they'll never admit it - never retreat, never surrender, defeat better than being meek, moral victory, saving test cricket... blah Baz blah

 

[Eelectrica]

Was wondering what the bad news was going to be when I woke up. I guess the bad news is that had it not rained we would have been even close to the total and still none down.
Will done Davey and Usi.

We could play until midnight right? I mean it's not like the ground staff and TV crews have anything better to do. They're all just peasants anyway.

 

[Mr. Shaman]

I figured you'd have a cry ya f**kin cat

You silly dope, no rain and we’re 250 off at stumps.

 

[TheParraboy]

Be better off not coming back now

Leaves us 98 overs tomorrow to survive or score 249 runs.

Either is doable

Scoring 3.5 an over

Win just after tea time

But rain will cut off more than half those overs IMO

So we need to score 6.18 an over , across 40 overs . The opposition finishing the series with Bazball ?

 

[Eelectrica]

As long as England don’t win. Five tests of Bazball and just 1 win to show for it sounds good to me.

A win here would be some nice icing on this cake though.

 

[JJ]

As long as England don’t win. Five tests of Bazball and just 1 win to show for it sounds good to me.

A win here would be some nice icing on this cake though.

it's funny though, in many ways Bazball is a reason they are competitive, but the level of stupidity that comes with it is the reason they've lost... that said, the level of stupidity that comes with it seems to have infected the Australian team too (as it has others when they've got rolling)

 

[hineyrulz]

Same old England, always raining!!

 

[Chins get the wins]

I figured you'd have a cry ya f**kin cat

This merkin is unhinged

 

[Twizzle]

rain forecast for most of day 5 so it looks like a result either way is unlikely

I'll take 2-1 though

 

[Chins get the wins]

rain forecast for most of day 5 so it looks like a result either way is unlikely

I'll take 2-1 though

We need Davey to leap!!! The great man just needs a 30min window of play

 

[Eelectrica]

Seeing as how a test is played over 5 days, taking weather into consideration has to be part of the planning if it’s a must win game.
Weather is going to change in 5 days.
The early declaration in test 1 spooked them into not declaring in test 4 and possibly here as well.

Since we’re none done though declaring early might have just made the test win easier for us though. Still Bazball is all about taking risks in pursuit of victory so probably should have declared here as well knowing rain was on the way again.

 

[Eelectrica]

We need Davey to leap!!! The great man just needs a 30min window of play

A Davey leap would be the perfect retirement gift for Broad.

 

[yobbo84]

As long as England don’t win. Five tests of Bazball and just 1 win to show for it sounds good to me.

A win here would be some nice icing on this cake though.

Australia being 7 for 350 with 10-15 overs to go and then just blocking out a draw would be hilarious just to listen to the Poms self-combust

 

[bazza]

Seeing as how a test is played over 5 days, taking weather into consideration has to be part of the planning if it’s a must win game.
Weather is going to change in 5 days.
The early declaration in test 1 spooked them into not declaring in test 4 and possibly here as well.

Since we’re none done though declaring early might have just made the test win easier for us though. Still Bazball is all about taking risks in pursuit of victory so probably should have declared here as well knowing rain was on the way again.

I think that the English bowlers just aren't good enough to roll Australia for low scores on these flat pitches

Also seems the ball has been an issue in this series as it seems to have required a change nearly every innings

 

[Chins get the wins]

I think that the English bowlers just aren't good enough to roll Australia for low scores on these flat pitches

Also seems the ball has been an issue in this series as it seems to have required a change nearly every innings

Every 5 overs*

 

[Eelectrica]

I think that the English bowlers just aren't good enough to roll Australia for low scores on these flat pitches

Also seems the ball has been an issue in this series as it seems to have required a change nearly every innings

The short, high risk innings they’re playing isn’t doing their bowlers any good either.
Possibly why Wood didn’t bowl much. They don’t want him bowling 20+ overs in an innings.

They sure do like a different ball, the poms. Whatever ball they’ve got, they always want a different one.

 

[Bazal]

This is delicious, my guys.

Draw - 2-1 series win, Poms cry over draws
Win - 3-1 series belting, literally shit on Stuart Broads twink face
Lose - 2-2 series draw, retain Ashes, Poms cry even harder over 'moral victories' and 'rain saving Australia'

Even if we lose, we win. The national anthem of England is about to become this