5TH ASHES TEST: @ The Oval London July 26-30, 2023

[King-Gutho94]

Wow couldn't last 40 overs, pathetic.


Since Jonny Fatslow trundled out of his crease at lords we have. been bullied and dominated by a pretty f**king average English side. Bazball was designed to beat us and it's only through the Poms stupidity and arrogance they didn't. As soon as someone puts it back on us we piss ourselves quite pathetically, the tactics were the worst i have seen from an Aussie side ever. Un Australian even, fast bowling captains don't work because you could see the captaincy and workload had totally wore Cummins down and he needed a rest but because he's the skipper he plays. The whole coaching staff and their plans if you can call them that seriously need a massive overhaul. But who am i kidding we will flog two average sides out here this summer and all will be well again.

Nothing like beating up on the windies at home to have the dopes at CA tickling themselves with joy.

 

[Bazal]

You basically lost 3 straight tests, you got away with one but have been outplayed for the majority of the series despite England basically gifting you a 2-0 lead.

Why are you that surprised though? How many big test series have Australia won away in the past 6 years?

You had to cheat to draw the series. At home.

Can't even beat us at home anymore. Love to see it. Enjoy not having the Ashes for another 4 years. Bazball fail

 

[AlwaysGreen]

AGs series player ratings:
Khawaja 8. Stood up well, fine series. Half a point deducted for his Watto reviews.
Warner 3.5. Sick of hearing how crucial his 20s were. Shouldn't have been picked.
Labs 5. Weird series by a weird man.
Smith. 7. Not at his best and looks like his powers have waned. Still pretty bloody good.
Head. 6.5. Bazballed but eould have loved to see him kick on to a big score.
Marsh 5. One outstanding innings then back to the Marsh we all know.
Green 4.5. Most of his points are for his catching.
Carey 6.5. Kept well, usual inconsistency with the bat.
Starc 6.5. Pick of our bowlers which tbh, isn't saying much.
Cummins 5. Probably bowled better than his figures indicate. Really bad as captain which brought his bowling chops down too.
Boland 2. Got found out big time. Needs a plan B when things get rough.
Hazelwood 4. Typical Hazelwood. Not quite a great bowler.
Murphy 4.5. The potential is definitely there.
Lyon 5. Hard to rate but still bald.

 

[Bazal]

England Whingers: AuStRaLiA sAvEd By RaIn

Fifth test: Australia 0/135, rain breaks momentum, lose 3/29. Also Australia, 60 run stand, rain breaks momentum, lose 7/90 odd and the match

 

[simmo1]

England can change the ball and the bails all they want but they can't change who holds the Ashes.

 

[King-Gutho94]

So I have gone back and looked at the ashes squads we have sent to England since 2001.

I reckon you could argue out of the 6 series since only 2013 England have had the better team on paper.

2013 we had Mickey Arthur sacked 2 weeks out and tbh our squad was quite weak only Clarke was the decent bat in that squad and most of England's squad were just past there peak but still stronger on paper.

The rest though

2005 - all star team got ambushed.

2009 - England had no KP there best bat at the time for the last 3 games. Letting England off the hook in Cardiff was a disaster.

2015 - Had better side a lot of 13/14 that smashed England but just crumbled. England were still rebuilding from the whitewash 18 months earlier yet tore us to shreds with the ball. Ryan Harris was a big loss though just before this series.

2019 - Superman smudge plus all 4 quicks Pattinson, Starc, Hazlewood, Cummins were fit for the whole series and the best we got was a draw.

2023 - World Test champions against a T20 side.

 

[Wizardman]

In all honesty, we are a little lucky to be taking home the urn but a drawn series is probably the right result in the end for a whole lot of reasons.

 

[Bazal]

Pom bashing aside, neither team deserved to win. Ordinary series with manufactured drama.

Our tactics were appalling and our captain is a limp wrist. We gave up momentum in the series with some poor selections and the number of free runs we gave away, especially in the Third test. Even with all that we fell 49 runs short of winning 3-1...because we dropped 130 runs worth of catches day one of the fifth Test. 4/10

England have shown that Bazball is not only a complete failure but that they don't even believe in it themselves. Ultimately, for all their wanking, the sole reasons Bazball exists is to beat Australia. They want to play the way we did under Waugh and Ponting jut they haven't got the talent, and it shows. Declare day one of the series? Lmao, lost them the Ashes. Especially because when the Third test was in the balance they'd become too cowardly to declare knowing two days would be lost to rain. But at least they get to whinge about the weather in their own country. 3/10

 

[yobbo84]

That ball was still rock hard and hooping around everywhere at the end there. It certainly had a major influence on the outcome.

 

[Twizzle]

I don't get the cheating call.

It's akin to calling us cheats for the Bairstow appeal, we are entitled to appeal, it's up to the ump to give it out or otherwise.

The poms didn't change the ball, the umps did, they are entitled to ask much like we are.

 

[gUt]

Frustrating series for fans of both sides. Have to say the poms played better than I thought they would. They made the same sort of bone headed mistakes (chucking wickets away, dropped catches, weird selections etc) that we did. I can see why they think they were the better side, but they can suck all the pishy tramps' dicks in London, we got the urn. Looking forward to them coming down here and the carnage that will follow.

 

[Haffa]

 

[simmo1]

Ultimately it's pretty hard to win away series, especially in England. They have lost less series at home the past 10 years than Australia have. Their bowlers are very skillful in their conditions and we always struggle to get much more than 300. We would have been in a world of trouble had England started with Woakes instead of Robinson.

Don't think either team would be happy with 2-2. Score flatters Australia a bit, whereas the 2019 2-2 flattered England.

 

[Slackboy72]

AGs series player ratings:
Khawaja 8. Stood up well, fine series. Half a point deducted for his Watto reviews.
Warner 3.5. Sick of hearing how crucial his 20s were. Shouldn't have been picked.
Labs 5. Weird series by a weird man.
Smith. 7. Not at his best and looks like his powers have waned. Still pretty bloody good.
Head. 6.5. Bazballed but eould have loved to see him kick on to a big score.
Marsh 5. One outstanding innings then back to the Marsh we all know.
Green 4.5. Most of his points are for his catching.
Carey 6.5. Kept well, usual inconsistency with the bat.
Starc 6.5. Pick of our bowlers which tbh, isn't saying much.
Cummins 5. Probably bowled better than his figures indicate. Really bad as captain which brought his bowling chops down too.
Boland 2. Got found out big time. Needs a plan B when things get rough.
Hazelwood 4. Typical Hazelwood. Not quite a great bowler.
Murphy 4.5. The potential is definitely there.
Lyon 5. Hard to rate but still bald.

For me the only players who did well were Carey, Woakes and Wood.
No batsman averaged more than 60. Few above 50. On flat tracks. In particular Labs, Smith, Warner, Root, and Stokes were underwhelming to an alarming degree. Again, on flat tracks.
Only two innings totals were above 400. Again, I say, on flat f**king tracks.

Aside Woakes and Wood most bowlers averaged more than 28. They along with Lyon (by his absence) proved the point of difference between the sides.

Stokes out-captained Cummins but only because Cummins was so bad.

Selections were seriously stupid. Boland got hung out to dry. Anderson was a 5th wheel.

Australia also had no Buchanan-like plans for bowling to these batters. You could see they hadn't thought about it till it was too late. Not even a MCGrath like "top of off". The amount of short pitch desperation from both sides showed that they were both clueless to varying degrees.

It may have been a close series but it wasn't a good series, from either team.

 

[Valheru]

2-2 is probably the right result to enable them to get rid of the virtue signaler as captain, what a disastrous leader he has been.

We missed the GOAT, it went to shit as soon as he went down injured. I know few on here will be caught admitting it but we win the series if he stays healthy.

 

[Mr. Shaman]

I don't get the cheating call.

It's akin to calling us cheats for the Bairstow appeal, we are entitled to appeal, it's up to the ump to give it out or otherwise.

The poms didn't change the ball, the umps did, they are entitled to ask much like we are.

It’s amazing how a helmet does more damage than a chunk of wood, planted ball was so good they refused the new ball.

 

[Mr. Shaman]

Petty as f**k from England

 

[Slackboy72]

2-2 is probably the right result to enable them to get rid of the virtue signaler as captain, what a disastrous leader he has been.

We missed the GOAT, it went to shit as soon as he went down injured. I know few on here will be caught admitting it but we win the series if he stays healthy.

If anything Cummins leadership can not be called in to question. He is a leader through and through. His ability to captain however has been proven to be deficient.

 

[Haffa]

Petty as f**k from England

What we come to Expect from “Donald Trump Ball”

 

[AlwaysGreen]

Who the f**k would want to drink with those dickheads anyway.

Stokes would probably glass you.