Ask LU - The relationship advice thread II

[Misanthrope]

Are the cons starting to outweigh the pros?

Some days, yeah. A lot of days we have a short argument but it's otherwise fun. But some days - like today - it's just a stressful shit storm that makes me question whether it's worth waiting.

 

[Rebel]

Some days, yeah. A lot of days we have a short argument but it's otherwise fun. But some days - like today - it's just a stressful shit storm that makes me question whether it's worth waiting.

Thats what Im guilty of. An argument about something, then its natural to 'dwell' and snowball and everything is a million times worse than it needs to be and its all due to your thinking.

Id really just try to enjoy the two months. But, if its reeeeeally becoming a problem, over and above the average arguments here and there, then you may need to have that talk.

 

[Misanthrope]

Thats what Im guilty of. An argument about something, then its natural to 'dwell' and snowball and everything is a million times worse than it needs to be and its all due to your thinking.

When I was a naive young ESL teacher in South Korea, I always pictured relationships as all roses, chocolate, and warm milk baths.

 

[Rebel]

When I was a naive young ESL teacher in South Korea, I always pictured relationships as all roses, chocolate, and warm milk baths.

Yes. Me too. And Im sure many guys (And bitches too) Feel the same way.

It isn't the case though and I guess the trick is to learn that before you run away from something because it isnt perfect and miss out on alot.

 

[Dragon2010]

IMHO it's beating a dead horse. If the cons outweigh pros you're damaging yourself in the long run. I'm surprised it's still going because I remember months ago you making comments suggesting other action was to take place. Hopefully, you can fix the issues so the next few months are manageable. Do you think the relationship coming to end is brining on more tension? Like, knowing it's over in two months is it a constant turning/argument point between you to?

 

[Joker's Wild]

Is she under contract or something Bushy? Why doesnt she just bugger off back to tye States if shes so miserable?

 

[Misanthrope]

Is she under contract or something Bushy? Why doesnt she just bugger off back to tye States if shes so miserable?

This, although she doesn't have any qualms breaking it. I'm not sure what keeps her here beyond my charming personality and amazing secks.

On an unrelated note, I've never dated an Australian girl.

 

[Dani]

We're just as crazy as the rest.

 

[Misanthrope]

We're just as crazy as the rest.

I'd like to try a relationship with some points of commonality in the world of sport and one where marriage wouldn't require a difficult and expensive visa process :lol:

 

[Joker's Wild]

This, although she doesn't have any qualms breaking it. I'm not sure what keeps her here beyond my charming personality and amazing secks.

On an unrelated note, I've never dated an Australian girl.

Clear conscience then mate

"Welcome to dumpsville. Population, you"

 

[sensesmaybenumbed]

Dani 4 Misanthrope?

 

[Dragon2010]

How to piss a friend who want's to catch-up 101:

She wanted to catch-up. I told her no it's my mums birthday, I have plans. She flipped. She's pissed off.

 

[Eelementary]

Yes and no. When I was with her in the States I said I wanted her to, but after getting back to China I realized it probably wasn't a good idea and tried to discourage her.

Basically, I pussied out. I should have just said "Don't come" but instead I tried to dissuade her.

Don't get me wrong, I have had fun with her being here - but I just don't think we should have let this go on so long.

You tried to dissuade her - ergo, you have no obligations to this cray cray beeyatch.

 

[Different kind of Rabbit]

Meh.

Mis, you need to tell her to snap the f**k out of it or f**k off.

Quite simple really.

Forget about all this "I owe her" and "she needs me" bullshit. If the two of you are miserable then just break it off. It won't improve over time, in fact, it'll just get worse. It's obvious she isn't the one and what happens if somehow, you put a bun in her oven? That would be a friggin catastrophe. If you break it off, she'll go back to the states and resume her old life and probably be happy as a pig in shit in six months time. You can resume trying to bang half of the female Asian population and you'll be just as happy as well.

It's plainly obvious to me, what you need to do. Man up and get it overwith. I expect to hear that you've broken it off by this time tomorrow.

Love should not be difficult. It should be the easiest thing in the world.

 

[Eelementary]

Meh.

Mis, you need to tell her to snap the f**k out of it or f**k off.

Quite simple really.

Forget about all this "I owe her" and "she needs me" bullshit. If the two of you are miserable then just break it off. It won't improve over time, in fact, it'll just get worse. It's obvious she isn't the one and what happens if somehow, you put a bun in her oven? That would be a friggin catastrophe. If you break it off, she'll go back to the states and resume her old life and probably be happy as a pig in shit in six months time. You can resume trying to bang half of the female Asian population and you'll be just as happy as well.

It's plainly obvious to me, what you need to do. Man up and get it overwith. I expect to hear that you've broken it off by this time tomorrow.

Love should not be difficult. It should be the easiest thing in the world.

I agree, but I don't think it's always the case.

When two people, who are different in terms of personalities, souls, etc., get together, all sorts of things can go wrong.

But I find the best times are when you get through the tough times.

 

[Joker's Wild]

Love should not be difficult. It should be the easiest thing in the world.

lol Comon dude, be honest with yourself here

Relationships are simple at the start but they soon become painful and complicated if you just cruise through them. You have to put work into them to keep them strong and that is certainly not easy

Anything that is worth a pinch of shit in this life cant be thrown on the "easy" pile

That being said if they are a drag even after you have put all the effort in, its time to pull the rip chord and bail the f**k out

 

[Misanthrope]

Meh.

Mis, you need to tell her to snap the f**k out of it or f**k off.

Quite simple really.

Forget about all this "I owe her" and "she needs me" bullshit. If the two of you are miserable then just break it off. It won't improve over time, in fact, it'll just get worse. It's obvious she isn't the one and what happens if somehow, you put a bun in her oven? That would be a friggin catastrophe. If you break it off, she'll go back to the states and resume her old life and probably be happy as a pig in shit in six months time. You can resume trying to bang half of the female Asian population and you'll be just as happy as well.

It's plainly obvious to me, what you need to do. Man up and get it overwith. I expect to hear that you've broken it off by this time tomorrow.

Love should not be difficult. It should be the easiest thing in the world.

I agree with most of what you say, but this in particular. I had a relationship once that felt easy and it was the best few years of my life. I don't want to settle for anything less than that.

Everybody fights, but it shouldn't be stressful.

-----

I also intend to make China my bitch come August.

 

[Eelementary]

lol Comon dude, be honest with yourself here

Relationships are simple at the start but they soon become painful and complicated if you just cruise through them. You have to put work into them to keep them strong and that is certainly not easy

Anything that is worth a pinch of shit in this life cant be thrown on the "easy" pile

That being said if they are a drag even after you have put all the effort in, its time to pull the rip chord and bail the f**k out

You're very wise, mate.

 

[Different kind of Rabbit]

lol Comon dude, be honest with yourself here

Relationships are simple at the start but they soon become painful and complicated if you just cruise through them. You have to put work into them to keep them strong and that is certainly not easy

Anything that is worth a pinch of shit in this life cant be thrown on the "easy" pile

That being said if they are a drag even after you have put all the effort in, its time to pull the rip chord and bail the f**k out

If she's worth it, then "putting in the effort" should come naturally. Also, love and relationship are two different things. Relationship is hard. The love part is easy and of course, love forms the basis of any relationship.

 

[God-King Dean]

I think I'm gonna break up with my missus guys.

I really need someone to talk to about it. Might as well be you guys.......