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Canberra Woman Diagnosed With The Viking Clap After Meeting Tattooed Englishman At Mooseheads
CLANCY OVERELL |
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The ACT medical community have released a statement today warning the community of a potential outbreak in the Viking Clap.
New guidelines for the treatment of Mooseheads Transmitted Infections (MTIs) have been issued in response to the growing threat of antibiotic resistance to the Viking Clap.
As the Canberra Raiders go through to the Grand Final after season that has lasted months longer than usual, Canberrans face an increased likelihood of being exposed to an MTI.
It is estimated that during the 2019 season alone, 1 million Canberra residents, mostly women, may have contracted the Viking Clap. These numbers are expected to only grow if The Milk win the Premiership against the Sydney Roosters this weekend.
ACT-based public servant, Ainslie Cooyong (22) has been identified as one of the early cases, after receiving a diagnosis earlier this year during the trial matches.
Ainslie has since been treated for the Viking Clap, and says she’ll think twice next time before going home with a heavily tattooed Yorkshireman with a body that looks like its been carved out of ice.
“They are so hot though aha” she says.
One local doctor says this attitude towards rooting Raiders is quite common, with many locals girls viewing it as a badge of honour, but worries the outbreak may get out of control if the Milk bring home the silverware this weekend.
“There’s a recurring theme” says Dr Verity Lane, spokeswoman for the CHO (Canberra Health Organisation)
“For one, Moosheads”
“A lot of our patients claims to have made friends with a neckless Englishman or a sexy Islander boy on the D-floor at around 2AM when they start playing Kendrick”
“I only advice would be, please make sure you wear a beanie to these Home Games”
